5 Novellas to Read in Line on Black Friday

The Metamorphosis, by Franz Kafka
As you queue up, embedded in a sea of humanity, you might find yourself musing about how there’s no way around it—humans are animals with urges and instincts that are at times no better hidden than those of the family dog. So why not read Kafka’s The Metamorphosis, a classic novella in which a man turns into a different type of animal? The story begins with Gregor Samsa waking to find himself transformed into a man-sized bug. Though the cause of his metamorphosis is never explained, you might form your own theories as to what prompted his animal nature to take over as the lady next to you sticks an elbow in your ribs to ace you out on that discounted blender.

Dirty Love, by Andre Dubus III
Andre Dubus III’s riveting 2013 collection of four novellas/long stories about love, longing, and infidelity will offer plenty of distraction with its frank sex scenes and surprising twists. The stories of Mark, a 50something business man who finds out his wife is cheating on him in “Listen Carefully as Our Options Have Changed”; a philandering, confused bartender in “The Bartender”; and a physically unattractive but emotionally compelling bank teller named Marla who longs for her first lover (“Marla”) are engrossing because of the sheer quality of detail and the depth to which Dubus bores into his characters’ consciousness. But these stories also might make you suspicious of just why your spouse was so eager to see you out of the house as you left to go shopping, calling out, “Don’t rush home! Just enjoy yourself!”

Pale Horse, Pale Rider, by Katherine Anne Porter
Katherine Anne Porter’s classic novella was inspired by her years as a journalist for the Rocky Mountain News in Denver, during which she caught the flu in the 1918 influenza epidemic. In Pale Horse, Pale Rider, a journalist named Miranda makes her way in the boys’ club newspaper world and kindles a relationship with a soldier named Adam as the flu rages unchecked throughout the world. The pandemic theme will fit your situation frighteningly well as you stand, packed cheek-to-jowl with other people emitting suspicious hacking coughs and sneezes at regular intervals.

The Death of Ivan llyich, by Leo Tolstoy
Perhaps the press of bodies has left you feeling a bit peaked, and you could use some reassurance that your health is really fine. If you are still vertical, you’re much better off than Ivan Ilyich, the ailing hero of Tolstoy’s classic novella. Ilyich, a judge, is supine for much of this book as he ponders his mortality and whether or not he’s lived a good life. Maybe after you’re done reading this, you could perform some jumping jacks to make sure you still can.

A Christmas Carol, by Charles Dickens
If the commercialization of the Christmas season overwhelms you as you wait in those Black Friday lines, turn to Dickens’ classic tale of the spirit of the season and let it inspire you to be generous in your seasonal giving. Or at least refrain from mowing down Tiny Tim as you sprint toward the TV aisle.