8 Fictional Schools We’d Like to Attend

Wayside School (Sideways Stories from Wayside School, by Louis Sachar)
Going to Wayside may have its downsides, like the very real possibility that Mrs. Gorf will turn you into an apple, or having to trudge up 30 flights of stairs in a school that was supposed to be built horizontally instead of vertically. But it would all be worth it, ‘cause you’d get to hang out with some of the legitimately funniest characters in all of middle grade lit.

Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry (The Harry Potter series, by J.K. Rowling)
Well, duh. Even if we’ll always be muggles, we’ll still take the Quidditch, the butterbeer, and the proximity to Dumbledore. Not to mention the flying lessons, and classes with titles like Defence Against the Dark Arts and Care of Magical Creatures. For those, we won’t even mind turning off our cellphones (for a reasonable amount of time).

Walkerville Elementary (The Magic School Bus series, by Joanna Cole and Bruce Degen)
Show me another school where you can visit outer space, the ocean floor, and the Jurassic era, without it ending in tragedy or a class-action lawsuit. On top of that, you’re led by the queen of coolness, Miss Frizzle, who wears her perfectly on-theme dresses with as much swagger as she wears her total apathy for her students’ safety (though, to her credit, the magic school bus never does anyone wrong). We’d stick around just for the fashion advice.

Sweet Valley High (The Sweet Valley High series, by Francine Pascal)
There’s a reason why kids of all ages, after reading any Sweet Valley book, want to enroll in high school immediately—and it’s not for the academics. It’s because of the promise of a totally dreamy basketball captain (or soccer star, or dirt-bike enthusiast, etc.) looking deeply into your eyes at the homecoming dance (or house party, or talent show, etc). What a bummer when we all got to high school and discovered a serious lack of glamor (and a surfeit of studying).

The Battle School (Ender’s Game, by Orson Scott Card)
We’ll take zero-gravity war simulations over dodgeball any day. And mastering your skills in order to defeat an alien race and save humanity is a way more compelling reason to go to class than the promise of any four-year university.

Ella Mentry School (The My Weird School series, by Dan Gutman)
The weird teachers are always the most fun ones, so it follows that your fun will be maximized if every member of your school’s faculty is totally bonkers. At Ella Mentry, the principal kisses pigs, the librarian thinks she’s George Washington, the health teacher built a smoking and drinking robot, and the school nurse is possibly an international spy. And the kids love every minute of it.

The Learning Institute for the Very Enlightened (The Mysterious Benedict Society series, by Trenton Lee Stewart)
As long as you’ve got the smarts to decode subliminal messages—and you can avoid being brainwashed—you have to admit it would be pretty cool to run around this school as a secret agent. Plus, unlike your average school, this one’s far from your parents, and far from boring. Not a bad way to get an education, right?

Peppa Pig’s school (Peppa Pig and the Busy Day at School, by Candlewick Press)
Sure, it’s mostly just your usual preschool—with counting, painting and singing the alphabet. But you get to hang out with Peppa Pig, who’s about the cutest, squiggliest little pig this side of Wilbur. And she teaches her classmates how jump in mud puddles, which is an excellent way to spend a weekday. Can we all go back to being 3-year-olds now?
What’s your favorite fictional school?