Books Are Better Than These 10 Things (And That’s Just the Beginning)
Some of us have friends who never read books. Their excuses are that they don’t have the time, that there are so many other things to do, that they just don’t like reading. It’s hard not to pull your hair out when you hear something like, “I don’t know, reading is just kinda boring.” Rage stroke! Next time you hear something that bogus from someone’s mouth, just kindly explain to them why books are the best. In terms that they will understand. Here’s where to start:
“Books are better than…”
Movies: Specifically movies based on books. This is an easy one to argue, since it is an undeniable fact that our imaginations and relationships with the characters in a book we’re reading are more detailed and intimate than anything a movie studio can come up with. Also, books don’t turn your brain to mush.
Meditation: Have you ever successfully meditated? It is HARD. It takes time and dedication and constant practice to achieve a head space where you feel clear, relaxed, and focused. A good book can do this in a manner of minutes! You can disappear into a different head space whenever you want, as long as you’ve brought your book with you.
Wine: Everyone calm down. I’m only saying a lot of us drink wine to relax and zone out. It’s the lazy man’s meditation. (Books are also healthier for you.)
In-laws: Amirite?
Small talk: Are you in a situation where you’re just plain out of things to say? Pull out the old paperback and say you have a ton of reading to do before class tomorrow. (But only if you’re not the host of the cocktail party.)
Being alone: You’re always punctual, and everyone else is late. If you’re waiting at a bar, a train station, or a bookstore, don’t hesitate to pull out a book. It’s a signal that you are confident and comfortable with being alone for a few minutes…without looking at your phone. Could also be a barfly repeller!
That March 2004 issue of Redbook in your doctor’s waiting room: Because what if your phone is dead?
Sleeping Pills: The right book can knock you out faster than Lunesta. Medical journals or even a book you’ve read a million times before can put you right to sleep.
Columbus Day: Columbus was the worst. Everything is better than Columbus. Read a book about what Columbus did.
Sunscreen: I mean, in certain situations. If you’re lying on your back on the beach, and you have to lift your book in front of your face to block the sun, that’s like SPF 100 right there.
And just to show we’re not biased, here are a few things that just may be better than books: Clean sheets, sunrise, fresh basil, getting a trampoline as a surprise.