The 9 Best Audio Books to Listen to While Mowing the Lawn

You may have seen me last weekend. I was the moron out mowing his yard in 90+ degree weather.
Drenched in my own sweat and feeling very much like I was a bipedal lobster being slowly cooked alive in some hellish outdoor oven, I think I may have been suffering from delusions because, as I was pushing the 80-pound torture device up and down my backyard, I became fixated on compiling a list of audiobooks that would be perfect for cutting the grass in sweltering heat.
Here is the result of my overheated hallucinations. The 9 best audiobooks to listen to while mowing your lawn:
9. The Burning Man by Phillip M. Margolin
8. Bataan Death March by Stanley L. Falk
7. The Grass is Always Greener Over the Septic Tank by Erma Bombeck
6. Blood, Sweat and Tears by Winston S. Churchill
5. Fahrenheit 451 by Ray Bradbury
4. Burnt Offerings by Laurell K. Hamilton
3. The Walking Dead by Robert Kirkman
2. Catching Fire by Suzanne Collins
1. The Green Mile by Stephen King
And for those of you dedicated lawn care aficionados who would rather listen to music while experiencing possible heat stroke, here are a few fitting tracks:
• “Sunburn” by Fuel
• “Walkin’ on the Sun” by Smash Mouth
• “I Melt with You” by Modern English
• “The Heat is On” by Glenn Frey
• “Walking on Sunshine” by Katrina and the Waves
• “Gimme Some Water” by Eddie Money