What’s on The Doctor’s Bookshelf?
Hark, the Weeping Angels sing, we’ve got a new Doctor in the TARDIS! On top of that, the story collection celebrating Doctor Who’s 50th anniversary, Doctor Who: 11 Doctors, 11 Stories, was released on Tuesday. It’s a time of hope, promise, and renewal for all Whovians.
In the spirit of regeneration, it seems time for a look into a TARDIS curiosity that rarely gets discussed. We know about the infamous pool and the Ponds’ bunk beds, but riddle me this: what does The Doctor read? Below are our best guesses at what lines his bigger-on-the-inside bookshelves. Because a little speculation keeps fans healthy, wealthy, and sane while Peter Capaldi gets to filming:
Peter Pan, by J.M. Barrie
As dangerous as he is—and as he repeatedly reminds us, he is—The Doctor is essentially an overgrown man-child hellbent on giggling his wibbly-wobbly, timey-wimey way through space. See Exhibits A and A2 . If there was ever someone who could relate to the President of the Never, Never Growing Up Society, it’s this Time Lord. Granted, saucy doctor Martha is the only Wendy to come out (relatively) unscathed after a stint in the TARDIS with Peter Pandemonium, but let’s not dwell.
A Wrinkle in Time, by Madeleine L’Engle
I’m not convinced he wasn’t involved in this, or that Charles Wallace wasn’t almost turned into a Cyberman in the original draft.
Grimm’s Complete Fairy Tales, by the Brothers Grimm
Two reasons: the first being that it seems like a total River Song move to hide clues as to her whereabouts in the text of creepy folk tales. More importantly, the Grimm Brothers. included the following in their compendium: “The Wolf and the Seven Young Kids” (Big Bad Wolf), “Little Red Riding Hood” (Big Bad Wolf and lovely young victim), and “The Wolf and the Fox” (Big Bad Bloated Wolf). It shouldn’t take Rose Tyler to spell it out for you: B-A-D-W-O-L-F.
A Midsummer Night’s Dream, by William Shakespeare
Like he didn’t somehow sneak a signed copy when he saved the Globe and the globe?
A Christmas Carol, by Charles Dickens
Ditto. And it’s shelved right next to The Mystery of Edwin Drood, I’ll bet, because The Doctor’s a bit of a sentimentalist.
Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone, by J.K. Rowling
Aside from the fact that he and Martha name-dropped and borrowed from Rowling that one time he met Shakespeare, The Doctor has acquired a companion or two from each Hogwarts house save Slytherin since his reboot. Gryffindor (Rose, Donna, and Amy), Ravenclaw (Martha and Clara), and Hufflepuff (Rory and Mickey) are all well-represented in TARDIS history. (Capt. Jack Harkness would not only have confused the Sorting Hat, he also would have probably hit on it.) Until he can complete his collection and prove that not all Slytherins are evil, The Doctor will just have to keep rereading like the rest of us.
A Song of Ice and Fire series, by George R.R. Martin
Martin is the rootinest, tootinest, exterminatingest Dalek in disguise this side of Trenzalore. And any good transdimensional maniac keeps tabs on his enemies.
The Prince, by Niccolo Machiavelli
Gifted to him by the benevolent infant dictator Stormageddon, Dark Lord of All.
Slaughterhouse-Five, by Kurt Vonnegut
A time-traveling unreliable narrator who doesn’t like war but finds himself entangled in one? Boy, oh boy, does that sound familiar. Billy Pilgrim’s a kindred spirit to The Doctor, who has also probably stocked his shelves with the work of Kilgore Trout.
Men are From Mars, Women are From Venus, by John Gray
He’s had some awkward encounters with women—also some men—that perhaps can be attributed, in part, to his taking this title literally. In all likelihood, he was thumbing through this while the Ponds were making River down the hall.
What other books are on The Doctor’s bookshelf?