'I work in fashion.' I like the way that sounds. Glamorous. No point revealing I make herbal tea for skeletal models and scoop up dog poo.'

The author of the hit online Daily Mail column confesses the truth about life in the fashion lane - the glamour of watching Kate Moss dance barefoot and the weird reality of diving into street bins to find a missing £400,000 necklace - and reveals how to survive heartbreak and stay sane in a world where all around you are losing their Manolo Blahnik-obsessed minds.