Few things are more traumatic than placing a loved one in a nursing home. Negative emotions of guilt, denial, and inadequacy abound. The trauma is multiplied if the loved one objects to nursing home residency or if, after admission, he/she is neglected or abused. One need only to go to "Nursing Home Horror Stories" on a search engine to realize the possible negatives of nursing home residence; on the other hand, many excellent nursing homes exist.

The purpose of this Monograph on nursing care is to help you select the right nursing home for the person in whom you are interested and to be sure that person is properly cared for.

Particular subject matter covered in the nursing home Monograph includes:

INTRODUCTION. Discusses efforts which are being made by governmental and other entities to assure proper nursing home care, including the federal government's personnel and agencies, state government personnel and agencies, the Ombudsman program, churches.

These and other involved governmental agencies will be of assistance but the primary care person is you.

FIRST STRIKE: ANTICIPATE AND PREVENT. The best way to deal with nursing home problems is to anticipate and prevent them. However, just reciting the horrible things that may have happened in a nursing home is ineffective and accomplishes little. In order to be sure your resident receives proper care, you have to take one more step: you have to do something. What do you have to do? That's what the rest of this Monograph is about.

AVOIDING A NURSING HOME. Methods most people never consider or even think about.

SELECTING A NURSING HOME. Discuss with other interested persons. Read about nursing homes. Ask questions. Visit. Note interactions between nursing home employees and residents. Use of call buttons. Offensive odors. Eat nursing home meals. Attend a Family Council meeting. Above all: Read inspection reports made by government entities. Do volunteer work in the nursing home. Evaluate. Decide.

AFTER YOUR RESIDENT HAS BEEN ADMITTED TO A NURSING HOME. Before proceeding further go to the section of the Monograph headed Reference Material and read that section carefully. Then re-read it. Take notes. This will be your greatest ally in taking care of your resident. Become familiar with staffing, knowledge of employees, lack of written policies, lack of communication.

PEOPLE NOT INVOLVED IN THE CARE OF YOUR RESIDENT. Most will be friendly and helpful, others will attempt to supervise your actions without accepting any responsibility. If you have the ultimate responsibility for the care of your resident, insist also on having ultimate authority.

PEOPLE INVOLVED IN THE DIRECT CARE OF YOUR RESIDENT. These will include his/her doctor, supervising nurse, other nurses, certified nursing assistants, others. Become acquainted with as many of them as possible.

EFFECTIVE COMPLAINT PROCEDURES. Read, study, devise your own. For each complaint know what the problem is and the exact solution you wish to achieve.

YOU. You may well be surprised at the changes that caring for someone in a nursing home may make in you, your attitudes, your daily living. Each case is different but feelings of inadequacy, guilt and resentment are common, often difficult to cope with. Do study the Nursing Home Caregiver Survival Guide at the end of this Monograph. Do remember that you are entitled to a life of your own.

FAMILY COUNCILS. If there isn't one at your nursing home, start one. It can be the most effective source of help and information.

WHO PAYS. You, the resident's insurance, the government. Improper shifting of the responsibility to the government is sometimes tried and may result in penalties, loss of the shifted property and in some instances, criminal penalties.

MISCELLANEOUS. Importance of nursing home visitors. Volunteering. Residents with no family. Doing the work of the nursing home. Tipping. Showing appreciation to nursing home employees. Theft of resident's property. Personal pay items such as telephones, hair care.

There you have the "start" aspect of caring for a nursing home resident.

We suggest most strongly ongoing study of the Monograph sections on regulations, complaints, family councils and The Nursing Home Caregiver Survival Guide.