There comes a time in the life of all, when all that you believed and, trusted in, when all emotions you thought you knew come to naught. The day will come it surely will when Darkness comes knocking at your door. It does not look much like anything though; it definitely does not look like evil.
It portrays itself as harmless; it smiles with a trust in its eyes that captivates the heart of the broken. Common Sense will whisper in your ear to not let it in, but Doubt will put its foot in the door, making you want to listen and learn more.
It is then in that moment of weakness when all you want to do is give up, give in, that you dare to listen to the honey- covered words it speaks. It is when you are watching all that you have known or believed yourself to be being dragged down in a swirl of grey and the awful sound that silence makes. When you look at your image in the window and staring back at you is the void your identity laid in.
The soothing chants and whispers of Doubt will cloud your mind and make you believe that none of what you have been taught is real. He makes you believe and then doubt that belief at the same moment. Negative and Positive storm at you, take names and faces and wage war over what you once held dear and sacred. God fades into an old book and witches come alive from another. White now has shades of black, and in black there is no redemption.
It is then at that very moment, the moment you will not exactly remember, when you look around for something to grasp onto, to hold onto, so you can save yourself from falling. But looking around you will find only empty eyes, showing no interest or clicking their tongues in pity at the pretty young girl, lost in self pity. They cannot see what I see, or hear the voices screaming at me. They feel not the hurt burning me like acid, with no relief from it.
It is when you look into the eyes of the ones you thought loved you, and assumed that you loved, and find nothing there to keep you standing, when Faith and all it entails simply vanishes with your identity.
I have learned that there is more to me than just the name I was given or the dreams held for me by those that gave me life. There was more to me than just silly little feelings and obscure ideas. There had to be, because the day I opened that door all hell broke loose with all it contained, and all heaven stood at attention and even it
I do not know what or who the Key is, not even now, and it has already been years. I have forgotten my face and my name, instead I have seen monsters and heard angels sing. I have witnessed Truth standing against Pride and I have learned that sometimes it is better to fight back and forcefully take what was once yours, than to just let go and give in.
I am still searching for the Key, as are they, now it is a race against time. I will once again remember all, I will once again stand tall; for now I will have to watch from within the confines of the cages built for me.
I have learned that Faith holds no honor and Love is a word used by heartless people, I doubt very much whether Innocence survived Golgotha, and whether it was Innocence that died that day, or whether Love just had enough and gave up. I have seen demons rise from emotions and angels grow from Fear, but I have yet to see me again … I have no face and no eyes, but what I have is the right to choose …