Read an Excerpt
CHAPTER ONE
Don't Leave Home Without Them:
The Nonnegotiable General Principles
I began presenting myself early and, if I remember correctly, somewhat reluctantly.
When my siblings and I were in the age ranges of three to six, my father would line us up in the living room before a cocktail party and make us practice shaking hands with him before the guests arrived. (The Von Trapp family had nothing on us.) I still remember him looming over me, pumping my hand up and down while saying, "Look me in the eye, look me in the eye, look me in the eye . . ."
While I may not have enjoyed those impromptu personal presentation sessions, their effect was beneficial. To this day, I have a super handshake, and definitely look people in the eye when I greet them.
As with looking someone in the eye, there are some elements to presenting yourself that are nonnegotiable. Regardless of the situation, these fundamentals are necessary in order to make a strong and lasting impression. Whether you are presenting to one or one hundred--at a lunch, on the phone, with a speech or PowerPoint presentation--they will always be beneficial. These nonnegotiable principles are presented here. If you read or do nothing else in this book, incorporating these foundational elements into your daily communication and interaction will guarantee instantaneous, positive results in how people respond to you.
Dearly Beloved Data Lovers
The following statistic, from a study done by Albert Mehrabian, Professor Emeritus of psychology at UCLA, is among the first things I tell every client. Known as the "7%--38%--55% Rule" it states that there are three elements to any face-to-face communication: words, tone of voice, and body language, and we are influenced by these things as follows:
•7 percent of our influence comes from the words we say.
•38 percent from our tonal quality while saying it.
•55 percent by what our body is doing while we're saying it.
What does this mean? So often we think presentation and communication are about the words we say. In fact, it's often far more about how we say them, and what our body is doing while we are saying them.
For example, we've all been introduced to the person who says, "Nice to meet you" with a fishy hand, a nominal smile, and an over-our-shoulder-to-see-if-someone-more-interesting/important/ attractive-is-coming-in-the-room gaze. Contrast that with meeting someone who's genuinely delighted to meet you.
Same words, very different message.
My goal in telling you this is to help you begin to consider the global impact of your message--to understand the importance of managing every aspect of your presentation style.
•Knowing that listeners often remember just 7 percent of the words you say will remind you to choose language that's precise, colorful, and concise.
•Knowing that 38 percent of your impact comes from your tonal quality will reinforce the importance of having your tone match your message: be authoritative, commanding, persuasive, entertaining, etc, depending on your objective.
•Knowing that 55 percent of your impact comes from what your body is doing while you are speaking will encourage you to focus on how you can best express commitment to, and enthusiasm for, what you are saying through your facial expressions, posture, and gestures.
Breaking down your message in this way...
