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Sorrow's Gift

The Ramone Series

AuthorHouse

CHAPTER 1

Sunlight on her face woke Star up. Warmth drifted into her bones and skin. She lay there basking in the dancing streams of light running through the room. It was Friday and she had taken the weekend off from work. She needed a break from yelling kids, rebellious teens, heartbroken mothers and abusive dads. Her boss understood. One of her tough cases had ended with termination of parental rights and prison time. She needed to detox and clear her mind.

So, she was taking Boston, her little sister of thirteen and James, her little brother of sixteen camping and fishing at a nearby park. Boston had kept her up until nearly midnight making sure she had packed everything they might need. James had every lure and tool you could think of for catching fish. It was destined to be a fabulous trip! Rolling over and snuggling deeper, her thoughts drifted toward the childhood times she had gone camping.

The time they had gone camping as a youth group, Jon had thrown her into the river and she had slapped him with a fish. Those were the days of adventures and dreams. A deep longing tugged at her heart, for Jon to have come home, for things to have been different, for her dreams to have come true, but nothing had gone like she thought it would. Two months ago she had received word of Jon's death. He had died valiantly serving his country, a marine not to be treaded on. The funeral had been beautiful, the officers in dress uniform, the honorable last salute, the roses on the casket, the words so conclusive. His family had been proud of him and made it clear that he was missed a lot.

She missed him a lot and hoped he and God had a long talk before it ended, but if not she guessed she would find out when eternity came calling. Until then she had a life to live! She couldn't silently mourn forever ... Maybe this weekend with Boston and James would be that moving on point. Maybe they could help her make it through the sorrow.

A shrill noise broke the silent thoughts. The doorbell was ringing. Grabbing her bathrobe Star ran for the door, hoping it was the catalog order for the kitchen that was a week late arriving.

Opening the door her smile froze. A cop was standing there. Great, she thought, one of my cases blew up and I will have to put in over time!

Officer Peters smiled and said, "Good morning Miss Ramone! This letter was to be delivered by hand, so I thought I would bring it over."

"Thank you officer," Star said, taking the letter.

"Hope it's good news," he said as he walked toward his cop car.

Me too, she thought. Glancing down she noticed it was from Jon. Her heart lurched, a letter, but he had been dead for a few months now. God, this is horrible timing. Then she smiled at the ironic setting, I feel like Lazarus' sister over here. Heading to the kitchen she started some coffee brewing and fed the dog Lewis, her black lab that never tired of eating her slippers. The vet said he would stop after a year, but at three years old he still loved getting her to yelp. A few minutes later she headed for the back porch with the letter, cell phone and a cup of hot java. God, let this be good, she silently prayed.

Sitting down she opened the seal and discovered a few papers. Skipping the official one she went for the handwriting and read:

Dear Star;

See you in Heaven; Jon

Star stared down at the letter, a tear trickling down her cheek. He had cared. Her prayers had not been in vain. He had made everything right. The past couple of years she had buried herself in piles of work, Boston and James and their activities, Tae Kwon Do, church choir, youth group, school plays, etc. She had helped her parents organize the boxes of stuff for the new church addition, create fundraisers, teach classes, do music, tend the garden, paint the house. She had finally started writing her autobiography for preacher's kids and had published a few of her poems in a Christian magazine; anything she could do to keep her mind off of men, children, a home and family of her own.

Jon had been a stubborn teen and even more stubborn adult. They had dated seriously in their teenage years, but when Jon began to seek the world more than God she had given him the choice. He had chosen his dream and she had broken it off. After Jon had gone off to the Marines the very idea of dating was repulsive. She had continued to be good friends and communicate with Jon. She had to or be called a hypocrite. Secretly she had still cared, but she never told him that. He was chasing his dreams and she wasn't going to interfere. She had tried and he didn't listen. Jon had said she deserved better than him. That he had to do this or he would never know if he was a man, that God didn't have a ministry for him. He had been wrong. God had changed him. Thank you Jesus for good news with a bittersweet taste. Now what do I do about Ryan? She prayed for some time then, only getting up when she felt some sense of peace. She still had a camping trip to go on and that was time to think about this all.

* * *

Growing up Dad had drilled it into her mind that you only pack the bare necessities, but she and mom had always packed extras of everything, just in case. Looking at the stack of luggage she sighed, she should have learned. She had one suitcase, one medical bag, one female necessities/hygiene bag, two boxes of canned goods and groceries, the camping cast iron skillet and can opener. Next to that sat the charcoal, campfire starter, matches and lighter fluid, just in case the old Indian trick with sticks or the magnifying glass trick didn't work. Which she rarely used anyways, lighter fluid and matches were much easier.

Her cell phone rang, "Yes Boston, I am coming. I just have to put this in the truck and then I'll there."

Smiling she listened to her rant on about how late they would be. In the background she could hear James yelling that he wanted to catch fish for supper and didn't want to set the tent up in the dark.

"I will be there in a hour ... love you too, bye," she finished, stuffing the phone in her back pocket.

Star made a few trips to the truck, stacked the luggage in the back, put a tarp, bungee cords and rope next to it all, just in case bad weather came their way. She wanted to be prepared. Star put Lewis on the leash and sat him in the front seat with his dog food, bowls and treats. The dog was staying with mom and dad for the weekend while she was gone. Turning the porch light on, she double checked the windows and doors and made sure everything was locked up tight. Last thing she needed was for her house to get broken into again or the rain to seep in and ruin the house. Setting the alarm, she headed for the truck. Driving to her parents about ten minutes away, she thought about the day. God, I really needed a break this weekend, not another stressful thing to make me gray headed before I am thirty. Somehow, you are going to have to help me deal with all this. Please nothing else this weekend, please ... what am I going to do with a little boy? Does he look like Jon? Why now Lord, why now ... couldn't this have turned out a little better?

As she pulled in the drive Dad came out the house, "Hey Star, the kids are ecstatic about the trip. Please tell me you have the camera with you?" he yelled.

Star crawled out of the truck, "Of course dad, I wouldn't forget it for the world!" It is going to be one memorable weekend, Star thought, God forbid I forget the camera. I already have fifteen scrapbooks of the kids. A few more wouldn't hurt.

Pulling Lewis out of the front seat, he jumped on Dad, licking him in the face. "Good to see you too, Lewis," Dad said laughingly, "We are going to have a good weekend, but no chasing the chickens."

Hugging her dad, Star headed up the steps yelling, "Come on kids, at this rate it will be dark before we ever get there." A clomping noise grew louder and looking up Star saw that Boston was in her dad's fishing waders, which were hanging off her waist, tied by a belt that wrapped twice around her waist. She was carrying two suitcases, a sleeping bag and pillow. Smiling she said, "I am ready! Let's go fish!"

Star burst out laughing, "Who did that to you Boston? Is this James idea of a prank?"

James came around the corner, "Well, I figured the only way to make sure there was room for them was to put them on her," he joked. "Come on Star. I am ready to go camp."

Star looked at him. He was carrying five fishing poles neatly stacked over one shoulder, a tackle box and wearing an old beat up hat with a hook stuck in it. "You definitely brought enough tackle stuff to catch every fish in the lake," she joked back.

James laughed, "Well you usually tangle up at least two poles, so I came prepared."

"I only do that when you tell me to cast the line in the trees!" Star defended. "Now, come on or we are going to be really late." Herding the kids to the truck, as she loaded their luggage the kids said their goodbyes. Then piling into the truck they headed for the park thirty minutes away. It was only three pm, so they were making good time. By dark they should be eating fish and sitting around a campfire. As she drove Boston and James chatted excitedly about all the things that they would do the next two days and how they wished their other two brothers Tyrell and Steven could be there instead of at college.

Smiling, Star drifted back again to the letter she had just received. Surely, he had been joking. A seven year old boy ... How would she explain that to her parents? They would say it was just like Jon. If only he meant a dog. An animal would definitely fit into her life better than a child. Granted, she loved children, but right now she was so busy she didn't have a clue how she would fit the time in to properly parent, much less deal with all the emotional turmoil over the oddness of the situation. Arriving thirty minutes later at the state park, she pulled into their camping spot; number twenty-seven. The next hour consisted of James informing everyone how to set up the tent. Boston about broke a toe dropping the hammer on it and James laughed at her so hard he was crying. Star got the lantern knocked over on the ground and tangled up the lights that she wanted hung in the trees above the tent.

Another hour later found them around the lakes edge, sitting on the rocks which were lightly covered with moss and a few rushes growing up into the soft earth around them. The sunset was just starting, the sun sinking on the horizon and the clouds turning from white fluffy cotton balls into soft tufts of cotton candy. Star stared at the small ripples the tide was bringing in and suddenly her bobber dipped under the water and the tip of her pole tilted toward the lake. Jumping up she yanked up on the rod, and flipped the handle; setting the hook. Reeling in the line, she pulled a three pound bass out of the water. It was beautiful, she thought, sleek and healthy, it was going to taste great for dinner!

James yelled at her, "Hey that's not fair! That is your third fish!"

"Well, if you would get focused on the fish in that lake instead of the girl in your head, you might catch some too." Star replied laughing.

"I don't have a girl in my head. My line is tangled up." He replied.

"Yeah right," Star joked, "You are so full of excuses. Too much of a man to admit you're in love."

"Star, you better cut it out or I am going to chunk you in the lake!" James threatened.

Boston walked up next to Star. "You better stop bugging him, because he threw me in last time Dad took us fishing," she instructed.

Star smiled, "Boston, I know how to take him out. Just let him try it. He knows better."

James came running up, "Come on sis, let's go cook dinner. I am starved and fishing just isn't happening for me tonight."

Star turned to Boston, "You ready to head back too?" she asked.

"Yep," Boston replied, "look at my beautiful sketch. I captured your face perfectly."

"You drew me?" Star asked, taking the picture from her little sister. It was beautiful, very relaxed. "You did an awesome job Boston. You will be a great artist one day."

They walked back to the camp and filleted the fish, cooking them up over the fire with some potatoes and onions. They topped off the meal with homemade banana bread mom had sent and hot cocoa. James was lying on his back looking at the stars and Boston was reading a romance book by the flickering flames. Star observed the peace that was on their faces and wished she could transfer some of that to the kids she worked with. Maybe work would let her plan a retreat for some of the kids and bring Boston and James to help out ... Today had been a good day and full of surprises. Silently she thought about the past several years. They had been full of God's blessings, but even though things had gotten better she couldn't help but feel something would go really wrong soon. It always did with her. Now she had to deal with Jon's leftover news and help plan James' graduation party. He was graduating two years early, a very intelligent young man, but sometimes too smart for his own good.

Boston came over and sat next to Star, snuggling as she lay her head on Star's shoulder. "Sis, don't you ever want to get married?" she asked.

"Well, of course Bossy, but I don't think right now is the time for that. I haven't dated in years. When it is time it will happen." Star whispered. Sometimes kids had the worst timing with their curiosity.

Boston nodded and quietly said, "I think the right guy will come along. God has a plan for you, and it may not be what you planned on. Your life has always been a mystery in the making. I am praying for him to show up soon. He will probably show up when you least expect him."

"I hope you are right, Bossy," Star replied, "I miss Jon a lot and don't know why it had to end that way, but we'll just take it one day at a time."

A few minutes passed before Boston asked, "Ready for bed, sis? I am tired."

"Yep, let's go." Star replied. Getting up, she shook James who was lying by the fire, "Wake up, it is time to crawl in the tent." She then poured water over the fire. Snuggling up together Boston said a quick prayer. A few minutes later the soft purr of snoring verified that everyone had hit dream land.

* * *

The next day found Boston, James and Star hiking in the wooded trails at the park, laughing, talking, wrestling around the trails and taking tons of pictures. Boston and James were ahead of her taking pictures of the tiny tadpoles in the stream running across the trail. Star held the picnic box and smiled, taking a drink from her water bottle. They were so young, so innocent, so lost in a little world all-their-own. Soon enough they would hit reality and want to go back to being kids. Catching up to them and the stream, they crossed over on rocks like a frog that was enjoying the moisture after a spring rain. On the other side they settled down on a hill under a big oak tree and spread out a blanket. Together they got the peanut butter and jelly sandwiches and bottles of water out and ate a small lunch.
(Continues...)

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Excerpted from Sorrow's Gift by Echo Ardour. Copyright © 2013 Echo Ardour. Excerpted by permission of AuthorHouse.
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