So says Mancow Muller, the creator, writer, and ringmaster of Mancow's Morning Madhouse, which has been called the "funniest, fastest-moving, and most diverse show in radio history." In this book — his first humble masterpiece — Mancow rushes headlong through Europe, America, and even Cuba in a travel adventure that cross-dresses as a memoir.

When Mancow loses his dad — his number one fan — to cancer, he has a meltdown that takes him spiraling down Freedom Road. Thrust on a nonstop international death ride that pulls him through his past, he races the autobahn at breakneck speeds, inhales Amsterdam's pleasures, narrowly escapes an illegal visit to Castro's Cuba, suffers a near-fatal nervous breakdown, and cavorts under dog piles of women. Along the way, Mancow questions everything: "Do we already live in a police state?" "Must individual spirit be crushed?" "What does it mean to be a member of The Dead Dad's Club?" "Do you want to get laid?"

A combination of Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas, The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn, and Don Quixote (but with more sex), Dad, Dames, Demons, and a Dwarf takes you on a journey that will kindle your independent spirit and knock you to the floor with laughter.