1-2-3 Magic: Effective Discipline for Children 2-12, 6th Edition

by Thomas Phelan

Overview

• The quick, simple and effective way to parent
• A life-changing parenting guide that actually works
• The go-to parenting guide recommended by child psychologists and counselors

• One of Healthline's Best Parenting Books of 2017
• 2016 Mom's Choice Award Winner
• 2016 National Parenting Product Award Winner
• 2016 Family Choice Award Winner

"1-2-3 Magic made parenting fun again."

"My three-year-old has become a different little girl, and she is so much happier now."

"All I have to say is that the ideas in this book really WORK! It really is like magic!"

"Our home has become a much more positive place."

The sixth edition of the 1.8 million-copy bestseller 1-2-3 Magic by internationally acclaimed parenting expert Thomas W. Phelan, Ph.D. compiles two decades of research and experience into an easy-to-use program designed for parents striving to connect more deeply with their children and help them develop into healthy, capable teenagers and adults. Dr. Phelan breaks down the complex task of parenting into three straightforward steps:

1. Helping your children learn how to control their emotions and refrain from negative behavior, including tantrums, whining, and sibling rivalry
2. Encouraging good behavior in your children and providing positive feedback
3. Strengthening your relationships with your children to reinforce the natural parent-child bond

You'll find tools to use in virtually every situation, as well as real-life stories from parents who have successfully navigated common parenting challenges such as reluctance to do chores, talking back, and refusing to go to bed or getting up in the middle of the night. For years, millions of parents from all over the world have used the award-winning 1-2-3 Magic program to help their children develop emotional intelligence, raise healthier, happier families, and put the fun back into parenting.

Along with other highly-respected parenting classics such as How to Talk So Kids Will Listen & Listen So Kids Will Talk, Parenting with Love and Logic, The 5 Love Languages of Children, No Drama Discipline, and The Whole Brain Child, 1-2-3 Magic is an essential tool for parents hoping to connect more deeply with their children.

Product Details

ISBN-13:	9781492629887
Publisher:	Sourcebooks
Publication date:	02/02/2016
Pages:	288
Sales rank:	11,371
Product dimensions:	5.90(w) x 8.90(h) x 0.90(d)

About the Author

Dr. Thomas W. Phelan is an internationally renowned expert, author, and lecturer on child discipline and Attention Deficit Disorder. A registered Ph.D. clinical psychologist, he appears frequently on radio and TV. Dr. Phelan practices and works in the western suburbs of Chicago.

Read an Excerpt

Welcome to 1-2-3 Magic

Parenting is one of the most important jobs in the world, and it can also be one of life's most enjoyable experiences. Small children are engaging, affectionate, entertaining, curious, full of life, and fun to be around. For many adults, parenting provides profound and unique benefits unequaled by any other area of life.

Yet being a mom or a dad can also be unbelievably frustrating. Repeat the Twinkie scene more than a thousand times and you have guaranteed misery. In extreme but all-too-common situations, that misery can become the source of emotional and physical abuse. That's no way for anyone-child or adult-to live.

Children don't come with a How-To-Raise-Me training manual. That's why there is a program like 1-2-3 Magic. The 1-2-3 program is currently being used all over the world by millions of parents (including single and divorced), teachers, grandparents, day care centers, babysitters, summer camp counselors, hospital staff, and other child caretakers, all of whom are working toward the goal of raising happy, healthy children.

The 1-2-3 program is also being taught and recommended by thousands of mental health professionals and pediatricians. At parent-teacher conferences, teachers recommend 1-2-3 Magic to the parents of their students (and sometimes parents recommend 1-2-3 Magic for Teachers to the teachers!).

Why all the enthusiasm? As one parent put it, "1-2-3 Magic was easy to learn and it gave me results. I went back to enjoying my kids and being the kind of mother I knew I could be." More than twenty-five years after the launch of the program, we're hearing from parents today who say, "My kids were great kids and now they're nice adults. We enjoy being with them."

1-2-3 Magic helps children grow up to be self-disciplined adults who are competent, happy, and able to get along with others. In other words, it helps produce emotionally intelligent people-people who can manage their own feelings as well as understand and respond to the emotions of others.

The methods described in this book are easy to master and you can start the program right away. Depending on whether you use the book, the audio CD, or the two DVDs, the technique takes about three to four hours to learn. Anyone can use 1-2-3 Magic-all it takes is determination and commitment!

How to Get Started

When you finish learning the 1-2-3 Magic program it is a good idea to start practicing it immediately. Talk with your spouse or partner, if both of you are living at home, and then get going right away. If you are a single parent, take a deep breath and then explain the drill to your children. Do the same thing if you're a grandparent. If you don't start right away, you may never get around to it.

After learning 1-2-3 Magic, you will know exactly what to do, what not to do, what to say, and what not to say in just about every one of the common, everyday problem situations you run into with your kids. Because 1-2-3 Magic is based on only a few basic but critical principles, you will not only be able to remember what to do, you will be able to do it when you are anxious, agitated, or otherwise upset (which for many of us parents is every day!). You will also be able to be a kind but effective parent when you are busy, in a hurry, or otherwise preoccupied.

What to Expect When You Begin the 1-2-3 Program

When you start 1-2-3 Magic, your relationship with your children will change quickly. But there is good news and bad news. The good news is that initially about half of all kids will fall into the "immediate cooperator" category. You start the program and they cooperate right away-sometimes "just like magic." What do you do? Just relax and enjoy your good fortune!

The bad news is that the other half of the kids will fall into the "immediate tester" category. These children will get worse first. They will challenge you to see if you really mean business with your new parenting ideas. If you stick to your guns, however-no arguing, yelling, or hitting-you will get the vast majority of these little testers shaped up fairly well in about a week to ten days. Then what do you do? You start enjoying your children again.

Believe it or not, you may soon have a much more peaceful home and more enjoyable kids. You will go back to liking and respecting yourself as a parent-and it can all happen in the foreseeable future!

Before we get into the details of the 1-2-3 program and Parenting Job 1, controlling obnoxious behavior, we should identify some very important concepts that are the fundamental to understanding how 1-2-3 Magic works:

1.The most effective orientation to-or philosophy of-parenting (chapter 1).

2.The three basic parenting jobs (chapter 2).

3.The dangerous assumption parents, teachers, and other caretakers often make about young children (chapter 3).

4.The two biggest discipline mistakes made by adults (chapter 4).

Table of Contents

CONTENTS

Preface

Introduction: Parenting: Long Hours, No Pay, Excellent Benefits

Part I: Building a Solid Foundation for Parenting

Chapter 1: Orientation to the Parenting Profession

Chapter 2: Your Job as a Parent

Chapter 3: Challenging the Little Adult Assumption

Chapter 4: Avoiding the Two Biggest Discipline Mistakes

Part II: Controlling Obnoxious Behavior: Parenting Job 1

Chapter 5: Getting Results through Counting

Chapter 6: Advice for Nearly Any Counting Challenge

Chapter 7: Disciplining Your Child in Public

Real-Life Story 1: The Case of the Temper Tantrum Terrorist

Chapter 8: How to Handle Sibling Rivalry, Tantrums, Pouting, and Lying

Real-Life Story 2: The Incredible Case of the Traveling Troublemakers

Chapter 9: Getting Started with Counting

Part III: Managing Testing and Manipulation

Chapter 10: Recognizing the Six Types of Testing and Manipulation

Chapter 11: Tales from the Trenches

Part IV: Encouraging Good Behavior: Parenting Job 2

Chapter 12: Establishing Positive Routines

Editorial Reviews

"Phelan's method has a proven track record of ending the negotiations and getting kids back on track...1-2-3 {Magic} is the gold standard of child discipline for good reason. " - Library Journal-STARRED

"The most valuable advice I got from reading 1-2-3 Magic that you can start implementing at home immediately is to avoid too much talking and too much emotion...the 1-2-3- program is as much a control on parental anger as it is on children's behavior. " - Outnumbered 3 to 1

"The book has a lot of great, helpful information. Anyone who has children, no matter what age, can learn from this. " - Cassandra's Place

"1-2-3 Magic helped me quickly identify the areas that I was messing up with my kids, and showed me how I could change those bad habits and trade them in for solid tactics to use when my kids were not listening as they should be. The best part, is that it literally only took a couple days for my kids to completely jump on board with the program...This book is worth it's weight in gold and will change your family's life." - The Simple Moms

"If you are a parent of young kids I do recommend that you pick up this book for a read as it would help you understand more about how to cope with your children during their outbursts." - Dominique's Desk

"Lays out a simple program for parents to help manage, and keep from overreacting, to behavior that seems incessant and annoying, like a continual request for junk food right before dinner." - Tri-City Herald

"Since the sixth edition of the self-proclaimed No. 1 child-discipline book in America came out last year, Dr. Phelan's strategies have seen a resurgence in the parenting world. Maybe that's why you feel like everywhere you go, you keep overhearing other moms say to their misbehaving children, "That's one. That's two. That's three." And then you watch in disbelief as their kid actually stops!
" - PopSugar

"The book spells out how you can help your child deal with their emotions, encourage good behavior, and strengthen the parent-child relationship. He includes clear advice for many roadblocks you find in a day of parenting. " - Healthline

From the Publisher

★ 02/15/2016
In this updated edition of best-selling author Phelan's classic 1-2-3 program, the author retains the charming humor, realistic scenarios, poignant cartoons, and spot-on dialog of the previous editions. Parents will find the support, reasoning, and tools they need to change the most irritating behaviors kids throw at them. From solutions to whining, sibling rivalry, badgering, and temper tantrums to refusing to do chores or melting down in public, Phelan's method has a proven track record of ending the negotiations and getting kids back on track. Any parent can count to three…the challenge of course will be for them to use the plan consistently and without emotional feedback. VERDICT Phelan's 1-2-3 is the gold standard of child discipline for good reason. All libraries should update to the new edition and purchase in sufficient quantities.

Library Journal