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CHAPTER 1
Tip #1 Have Hope No Matter What
First and foremost, you must realize that there is hope for your recovery and a completely new life beyond your imagination. Millions of suffering addicts who were once considered hopeless and awaiting death enjoy a new life free from the pain and suffering of the dark and bottomless pit of addiction. You are no different from these transformed individuals. If you have breath in your body you have hope. Now is the time to fight for what you desire. There is no waiting. For many of us there will be no tomorrow if we don't enter recovery today. Recovery and your new life want you exactly the way you are. So, let's get started on creating this miraculous new life.
Tip #2 Find a Support Group Specifically for You
Consider joining a program aimed at daily recovery or a support group focused on recovering from the type of addiction in your life. Be open minded and willing in this process. Recovery from addiction requires daily work which you will come to love and look forward to. There is no cure, however addiction can be eliminated from your life daily. There are tons of support groups, twelve-step groups and other programs that will fit your needs. Try one or try them all. You are bound to discover one that fits your unique needs. Do some research and give these programs a shot; you have nothing to lose and a new life to gain.
Tip #3 Begin to Trust
Trust plays a major part in many aspects of recovery; however, it is vital that we must develop trust in others to accept help and develop important relationships. It's amazing how many of us blindly trusted drug dealers and other addicted "friends" then when we enter recovery, we don't want to trust anyone. Take a risk and trust people until they give you a reason not to. Believe it or not, there are many genuine people out there who want to help us. Finally, try to go a step further and trust a power greater than yourself. This can be nature, your higher self, the universe, or perhaps a creator. You will be amazed how influential trust can be in your recovery.
Tip #4 Take It Easy
Take things slow. You are in this for the long haul. Long-term recovery depends on taking one day and one step at a time. You have plenty of time to achieve all your goals and create the life you desire. Don't stress yourself out and rush the process. You are exactly where you need to be at the current time. All great accomplishments are completed with one small achievable goal at a time and your #1 goal is to remain in recovery. The rest will fall into place, I promise. Relax and know that everything is going to be okay.
Tip #5 No Cravings?
Many people right out of treatment or early in recovery are amazed that they have no desire to get high, drunk, or engage in whatever addiction they have. This is a wonderful thing; be grateful for it and enjoy it, but don't let it fool you. You will get the obsession again or at least a craving and you must be prepared for this reality. Right now, it may be the furthest thing from your mind, but in a split second the obsession can bombard you and take over your entire being. Develop a plan to deal with cravings when they surprise you!
Tip #6 Cravings Come and Go
There are many strategies for overcoming cravings. First, know that the craving will end whether you give in to it or not. You will not die from a craving nor do you have to engage in the addictive behavior. Here are a few strategies for emergency situations: offer help to someone in need, distract yourself with a pleasurable activity, take a hot or cold shower, eat something sweet (like a gallon of ice cream), don't fight or resist it, allow it to flow through you, exercise intensely, or call someone and talk it through. Practice all of these until the craving subsides. Cravings do not last very long if we do not feed them. The more we think about the craving, the stronger it gets. Allow the craving to come and go and you will realize how much stronger you become when you are on the other side.
Tip #7 Is It Worth It?
A strategy that works very well for me when I am in a funk or just want to escape is asking myself if that short moment of euphoria is worth the long-term consequences and pain. Getting high for me lasts a very short while and then I find myself in a mental hospital, police station, or homeless and penniless. The little high I get from drinking, gambling, smoking crack or shooting dope is not worth giving up the unbelievable life I have. Death is the inevitable and final consequence but the deep pain of existence that results from addiction is what sucks.
Tip #8 Ask for Help
Whatever you do in your recovery I beg you to not do it alone. I've walked that prideful and lonely road before. You will require help and support. Get rid of the faulty belief that asking for help is weak; reaching out for help is one of the most courageous things we can do. Nothing worthwhile in life can be done alone. Recovery will be the most challenging thing you will ever do in your life and the most rewarding and beneficial. Just imagine the infinite possibilities and the countless number of people you will help. Not to mention what your family and friends will feel. Please ask for help! People want to support and help you recover from this sinister illness. Our connection to others and the world around us is one of the most vital steps we must take if we are to free ourselves from addiction. In fact, scientific evidence has demonstrated this for many, many years. Addiction feeds on loneliness and despair so we must starve it by staying connected.
Tip #9 Do Some Research
Do some research on addiction. Gaining knowledge and insight about the nature of addiction can help you accept and understand yourself a little better. Just choose the information you research wisely. There are many things online that are not very accurate and can be misleading. The more you understand the better you will feel about your recovery.
Tip #10 Goodbye Letter
Personally, I required closure at the end of my addiction and the beginning of my new life. Addiction was a huge part of my life and I needed to say farewell, much like losing a horrible girlfriend who offered great sex once in a while. I also used this with many patients I treated in the past in both inpatient and outpatient settings. The letter has helped many people come to terms with the loss. Start out by writing, Dear Addiction, or whatever you wish to call it, then write everything you think, believe, and feel about leaving your addiction behind. You may have mixed feelings and that is certainly normal. Do not censor your writing. Let it flow from your heart and soul.
Tip #11 Welcome Letter
Let's build on the previous tip and write a letter saying hello to your newfound recovery. Again, simply express what is in your heart. You can express your thoughts about recovery, your fears, your dreams, and your aspirations. Most importantly, be honest and sincere. I find it helpful to share these letters with family, friends, therapists, and anyone involved in your new life. Perhaps you want to share it online or in a support group. It's all up to you but make sure you write it.
Tip #12 Relapse is not a Requirement
Relapse occurs in the recovery process; however, it is certainly not a necessity. The dangerous part of relapse is that there is no guarantee that we will make it back alive. If you do relapse and return, like myself, make sure you learn from it and appreciate another shot at recovery. It is almost like a rebirth because it is so easy to die when we unleash the monster of addiction. I know for myself it was almost impossible to get back to recovery after relapsing. Realistically, millions of individuals never even get one chance at recovery and there are the unfortunate ones who do not get another chance after a relapse. As we know, addiction either kills us or we end up in prison. There truly are no other options. I find it much easier to work on staying in recovery.
Tip #13 Unbreakable
We are much like trees weathering a storm. Our branches and leaves may shake and be wrathfully blown around, but we have a calm, still, and steady place within us that allows us to stay strong and survive. Discover this place of stillness and allow it to keep you sturdy and stable during the storms of life. We all possess this calm center within; it just takes some searching to discover it. Once revealed, it is always there for you to deal with the turbulence of life.
Tip #14 DENIAL
Don't Even know I Am Lying is what this word stands for and clearly explains what the word represents. Denial is the most powerful and devious aspect of addiction. We clearly create lies and manipulate ourselves and don't even consciously realize we are doing it. This is the epitome of deceit. If we fail to gain awareness of these lies we will remain sick at the core of our being and ultimately end up deep within active addiction without even realizing how we got there. We have to stop believing the lies and falling prey to the manipulation of addiction. Recovery is about aligning with the truth and living it daily.
Tip #15 Surrender to Win
You will receive endless advice when it comes to recovery. People like to just spout things out like, it is a simple process. One of these suggestions will likely be, "Just Surrender." Well that sounds wonderful but it's certainly not as easy as "Just Surrendering." Surrender for me means to completely let go of control and trust that everything is going to work out. Once I do this, I can resign as the CEO of the universe and get out of my own way. When I surrender, I picture myself throwing up my hands and stating, "I give up! Please guide me on my journey." It's that simple for me if I am doing it with a clear mind and pure heart. Try it! You will see how much freedom this gives you. It feels like the burden of the world is off of your back.
Tip #16 Daily Plan
I like to have a plan for the day. I usually do this the night before. It helps provide structure to my day so I don't get caught up and lost in the chaos of the world. Of course, I realize that plans don't usually go "as planned," so I am very mindful of being flexible and taking the day as it presents itself to me. There's a saying I like to remember, "If you want to make the universe laugh at you, make plans." That's very relevant in my life, but having a rough draft for the day to come does help me.
Tip #17 Daily Inventory
I've developed the habit of reviewing how my day went in the evening when I'm ready to go to bed. I simply review my day and assess what I did well, if I hurt anyone throughout the day, and what I could possibly do better in the future. I keep it very simple and use this strategy to remain conscious of my actions and not live on auto pilot like I did in my addiction.
Tip #18 You are NOT Your Mind
Addiction lives and thrives within our minds. We are not our mind so we must choose to get the hell out of there. Many people live their lives believing they are their mind and completely identify themselves with this devious creature. If we are going to create a new life, we must begin to identify with and live according to our heart. Your heart is where your genuine self resides. Our addiction cannot survive if we choose to live our lives with the guidance of our heart. Always remember that addiction is in the mind and recovery is in the heart.
Tip #19 Our Wonderful Forgetter
Our "Addicted Brain" has the incredible ability to forget all the destructive and horrid consequences we have experienced in our active addiction. If we allow ourselves to forget the consequences of addiction, we are bound to end up back in that hell. Make a list of detailed consequences that you can examine next time your mind tells you about the wonderfully enjoyable times you had. Amazingly, your mind can even convince you that relapsing is a great idea. So, the more detailed and visually stimulating your list is, the better it is when your addiction decides to play these mind games with you.
Tip #20 You are Not a Victim
Personally, there was a period when I sincerely felt like the ultimate victim of my addiction. This completely sabotaged any possible chance of recovery. This frame of mind resulted in utter hopelessness and I had no capacity to reach out for help or help myself in any way. I became doomed to the destruction and ultimate death associated with my addiction. There is absolutely no possibility of creating a better life when we see ourselves as a victim. We have hope and a choice. There are millions who have transcended addiction and you are no different than any of those human beings. You must discard the victim mentality right now and make a decision. There is no time for delay.
Tip #21 Crossing the Line
Somewhere in your life you crossed the line of "normal" use or behavior into the bottomless pit of addiction. Make no mistake, once this line is crossed there is no going back. It's often said, "Once you become a pickle you will never go back to being a cucumber." Many addicts, including myself, hold onto the great delusion that we will somehow, someday go back to "social" use. If you continue to allow this belief in your life it will destroy you. This thought and belief must be smashed and thrown away right now.
Tip #22 The Placebo Effect
The Placebo Effect demonstrates the power of belief. It refers to something being effective because we believe it is going to be effective. The Placebo Effect can be utilized in so many different ways. A whole book can easily be written about it and probably has, though for our use right now, we can focus on tapping into its power concerning the recovery process. Begin to truly believe in your new life free from all addictions. Stop saying and believing you are hopeless. There are tons of great resources out there that you need to begin tapping into. BELIEVE and all things are possible.
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Excerpted from "101 Tips for Recovering from Addictions"
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Copyright © 2017 Richard A. Singer, Jr..
Excerpted by permission of Loving Healing Press, Inc..
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