50 Tips To Build Your Self-Esteem

by Anna Barnes

Overview

Having a healthy, positive sense of self-esteem enables us to avoid the obstacles that can hold us back and to really make the most of life, even when we face knockbacks. This book of simple, easy-to-follow tips provides you with the tools and techniques needed to feel better inside and out, making you a more confident and positive person.

Product Details

ISBN-13:	9781783720842
Publisher:	Summersdale
Publication date:	10/01/2015
Series:	50 Tips
Sold by:	Barnes & Noble
Format:	eBook
Pages:	96
File size:	131 KB

About the Author

Anna Barnes is the author of several titles in the 50 Tips series.

Read an Excerpt

50 Tips to Build Your Self-Esteem

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By Anna Barnes

Summersdale Publishers Ltd

Copyright © 2014 Summersdale Publishers Ltd
All rights reserved.
ISBN: 978-1-78372-084-2

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CHAPTER 1

1

Talk to friends and family

Sometimes it can be hard to know exactly what is causing our self-esteem to be low and in these cases, one of the best things you can do is speak to a good friend or a family member. If you can vocalise your concerns it may help you to understand where it is coming from, and if the person you choose to confide in knows you well, they may be able to offer you some insight that perhaps you have not been able to identify. Finally, talking is a positive and cathartic action, and simply airing your concerns can make you feel calmer and more ready for coming challenges. Added to that, your friends and family tend to think well of you, and hearing positive remarks from them can be a real boost to your self-confidence.

2

See your self-esteem grow

When you start your journey towards stronger self-esteem, it can be hard to see what the end result will be. It is easy to be concerned about the 'what ifs' of a situation, and this is where visualisation can help. Sitting in a comfortable chair, in a relaxed position, close your eyes and begin to focus on your breathing. There is no need to breathe more slowly or deeply, just pay attention to your natural breathing patterns. Next, start to build a picture in your head of how you would look and act with high self-esteem. Where are you? Who is with you? Notice the details and enjoy the feeling of confidence and happiness. While you are working on building your self-esteem, take this image with you and see it as something to look forward to.

3

Write down your worries

Once you have researched self-esteem, and have some idea of the issues and symptoms you are looking out for, it's time to work out what your personal triggers are, and when your self-esteem is at its highest or lowest points. Choose a notebook that reflects your tastes; anything from a simple notepad to an illustrated diary. Having a book which you like the look and feel of will make you more likely to use it. Keep it where you are most likely to use it – by the bed, in the kitchen – wherever you think you will pick it up and write in it. The act of writing down how you feel at any given time will not only help you keep track of what may cause a bout of low self-esteem, it is also cathartic. Furthermore, the diary gives you something to look back at on days when you feel low, which shows that things can be better.

CHAPTER 2

4

Getting the balance right

Whilst certain foods are said to help with specific things, such as being good for the heart or digestion, the most important thing to start with is a balanced, healthy diet which incorporates all the major food groups. Once you have ensured that you are getting enough protein, fibre, fat, and plenty of vitamin-rich fruits and vegetables, you have a great starting point for healthy eating, which will make you feel fantastic inside and out. If you are unsure of the foods that are best for optimum health, a web search will provide you with comprehensive lists of which foods are rich in which nutrients, allowing you to plan healthier meals.

5

Try a low GI for steady energy

You may have heard about the health benefits of a low-GI diet – more steady energy levels, less bloating, no sugar cravings – all of which can be beneficial for your self-esteem. GI stands for Glycaemic Index; the ranking of carbohydrate-containing foods based on their overall effect on blood glucose levels. When we eat foods with a high GI, such as white bread, pastries and sweets, our blood sugar spikes and then drops rapidly, leaving us blood sugar spikes and then drops rapidly, leaving us tired, irritable and hungry. Eating low-GI foods – such as beans, rye breads and most fruit and veg – helps to ensure your body is fuelled throughout the day and night, leaving you feeling more balanced.

6

Pep up with protein

As well as being essential for building muscle, protein is important for managing hunger levels and for improving mood. Proteins are made up of amino acids; the essential building blocks from which our body produces almost everything. In particular, the amino acids tryptophan and phenylalanine are great for the mood, as they are used in the production of the neurotransmitters serotonin, dopamine and adrenaline. These three hormones help you to feel happier and more motivated naturally.

7

Be fat friendly

When trying to eat healthily, it can be easy to see fat as the enemy. Many 'healthy' products are marketed as low fat or fat-free, and we are led to believe that eating fat makes you fat. This is, however, not entirely true. Fats are an important part of your diet. They are key in neurotransmitter production due to the amino acids they contain, and unsaturated fats are important for healthy skin and hair. As long as you get the balance right and are eating enough monounsaturated and polyunsaturated fats, such as those found in olive oil and seeds, and you are reducing the amount of saturated fat you consume, for example the fats in butter, cheese and red meat, you can begin to benefit physically, and the positive changes in your appearance and general health can give you a boost emotionally.

8

Be naturally sweet

Low self-esteem can lead us to make poor food choices as we try to find comfort from food; sweet foods such as cake and chocolate offer the short-term surge of energy you may crave. Snacking on sugar-rich foods can have a very negative effect on the body both physically and emotionally; the inevitable weight gain can make you feel unhappy with your body, and has the potential to make you feel you have 'given in' to certain foods. This can be a cause of stress, which in turn can lead us to reach for sugary foods again, forming a vicious cycle. Our modern lifestyles, however, mean that our stress is more likely to be because of bills we have to pay, or meetings we have to arrange, and reaching for the sugar is unhelpful because we do not really need the energy boost. Try chewing sugar-free gum, particularly if it is sweetened with natural xylitol, to give your body the taste of something sweet it is craving, without putting excess sugar that you will not use into your body.

9

Be ACE

Feeling low, especially long term, can cause higher stress levels and therefore raise levels of stress hormones in your system, which can have a negative effect on your health either by lowering your immune system, making you more prone to coughs, colds and other infections, or by over-stimulating it and provoking autoimmune illnesses and inflammation. A simple way to combat these symptoms is to eat plenty of foods rich in the antioxidant vitamins A, C and E. These antioxidants help normalise the body and reduce inflammation, whilst boosting immunity. Vitamin A is found in the form of retinol in products such as fatty fish, liver and egg yolks. Too much retinol can be bad for health though, so balance this with beta-carotene, found in mainly yellow and orange fruits and vegetables such as carrots, butternut squash and apricots. Vitamin C is found in good amounts in citrus fruits, broccoli, berries and tomatoes, and vitamin E is found in, amongst others, cooked spinach, nuts, seeds, avocadoes, olive oil and wheatgerm. Adding some of these foods to your diet could make you feel healthier and happier.

10

Get a boost with B vitamins

The B vitamin group is particularly important for maintaining a balanced mood. Amongst their other functions, B vitamins are involved in the body's control of tryptophan, a building block for serotonin. Vitamin B6 is essential in the production of GABA (gamma-aminobutyric acid), which helps boost mood in a similar way to serotonin. A lack of these essential neurotransmitters can lead to low mood, which in turn can lead to very serious psychological problems. The main vitamins to pay attention to are B1, B3, B5, B6, B9 and B12, all of which can be found in a balanced diet. If you eat a lot of processed foods, or are a vegan, you may be lacking in certain B vitamins, in which case adding a B-vitamin supplement to your diet can have an excellent effect on your overall health and mood.

11

Calm down with calcium

Calcium is not only essential for strong teeth and bones, it also has a soothing, calming effect and is important in maintaining a balanced mood. It is best consumed alongside vitamin D, which also helps enhance mood. Calcium is found in dairy foods such as milk, as well as in green leafy vegetables like kale and broccoli, lentils, beans, Brazil nuts and a wide variety of other vegetables. Fortified breakfast cereals and soya alternatives to dairy also provide a good source of calcium, and it is even found in tap water, especially in hard-water areas.

12

Stay hydrated

As well as being essential for good health, staying hydrated is good for your self-esteem as it helps your skin and hair look their best, which helps boost body confidence. Water also helps flush your system, keeping your bowels in working order and reducing feelings of bloating or puffiness. Drinking two litres of water each day is generally recommended for optimum health.

13

Cut the caffeine habit

Caffeine and other similar stimulants should be avoided as much as possible. Many of us rely on that first cup of coffee in the morning to wake us up, or a cup of tea to keep us going, but these caffeinated drinks, along with cola and foods containing caffeine, such as chocolate, could be having an adverse effect on your mood – perhaps the opposite effect to the one you intend – leaving you feeling nervous and on edge.

Drinking a caffeinated drink makes us feel more alert because it induces the initial stages of the stress reaction, boosting cortisol production. Consuming large quantities of caffeine, however, can cause the exhaustion phase of stress, and lead to anxiety. Added to this, caffeine can be very addictive, and stopping consumption of it suddenly could cause withdrawal symptoms. Try cutting down slowly to no more than 300 mg of caffeine a day, that's the equivalent of, on average, three mugs of coffee or four mugs of tea. Have fun experimenting with the huge variety of herbal teas and decaffeinated teas and coffees available in the shops.

14

Avoid alcohol

When feeling low, for example after a hard day at work, or when feeling awkward in a social situation, many people will reach for a drink to help them relax. Alcohol does have an instantly calming effect, but this is negated by its depressant qualities, and the feeling of anxiety that can be left behind once the effects wear off. Alcohol can also disturb your sleep, contrary to the popular idea of a 'nightcap'. Try to cut down your alcohol intake as much as possible, and if you do decide to have a drink, opt for a small glass of red wine, particularly Chianti, Merlot or Cabernet Sauvignon, as the beneficial plant chemicals, procyanidins, which are abundant in these wines are excellent for health, especially cardiovascular health. These wines are also rich in melatonin, the sleep hormone, and a well-rested person is more likely to feel good.

CHAPTER 3

15

As simple as a walk

Starting to exercise can be daunting, especially if you already suffer from low self-esteem. Joining a gym or going to a group class can seem like the last thing you would want to do. However, exercise can be as simple as going for a walk. Just a half-hour walk each day can significantly improve your health and emotional well-being. You can fit this in on the way to work, at lunchtime, or whenever feels right for you. Try going for walks in daylight, in natural surroundings. The sunlight will warm your skin, and should make you feel better as it produces mood-boosting vitamin D.

16

Swim for self-esteem

Swimming is one of the best forms of exercise, because it not only gives you a full-body workout, but also gives you time and space to relax and unwind. As with walking, swimming is generally something you do on your own, so it's a great place to start if you are unsure about using a gym or taking part in group activities.

The rhythmic lap of the water with each stroke, and the focus on your technique and breathing, can really help to move your mind away from your concerns, giving you some quality time with yourself. This alone time can give you a chance to reflect on the positive changes you are making. Add to that the fact that floating in water is a wonderfully relaxing experience, and all part and parcel of a trip to the pool, and you've got a perfect recipe for a relaxing self-esteem boost.

17

Give yoga a chance

Whilst to some people the word 'yoga' suggests extra-bendy individuals contorting themselves gracefully into poses, the fact is this gentle, ancient form of exercise is suitable for everyone, and is a perfect self-esteem booster. Many types of exercise are competitive and can leave you feeling left behind, making you doubt your abilities, but yoga classes allow you to move at your own pace, in a way that feels right for you. Developing your strength and flexibility is likely to have a positive effect on your self-esteem, and yoga has the added benefit of allowing you to switch off from everyday thoughts and immerse yourself in the movements. Why not try a local class? Or if you don't feel ready for a group environment, there are plenty of excellent books and DVDs available, or you could look up tutorials online.

18

Try Pilates

Pilates is, in some ways, similar to yoga. Its gentle movements, and the focus on doing what is best for you, are certainly similar, but where yoga is about the mind-body connection, Pilates is only about the physical side of things. Pilates focuses on improving back and core strength, and on the body's alignment, leaving you walking taller and feeling more comfortable in your body. Try going along to a group class or one-to-one session with a Pilates instructor and see the benefits. Alternatively, there are many books, DVDs and online tutorials available, so you can try it out at home before committing to a class.

19

Green exercise for a natural boost

'Green exercise' is any physical activity you take part in outside, in natural surroundings. Enjoy what the great outdoors has to offer by spending more time in your garden, local park or woods. Being in natural surroundings can bring a real sense of tranquillity. Exercising outdoors, be it on the coast, through fields, or even just your own garden, can improve your mood, ease muscle tension and lower blood pressure. Feeling close to nature may give you the boost you need to keep calm under pressure, and feel balanced and content.

CHAPTER 4

20

Clear out your wardrobe

Wearing clothes that don't fit well, or you feel uncomfortable in, can make you want to fade into the background, so try getting rid of the oldest clothes, or the ones that you feel just don't suit you any more. De-cluttering has a calming effect which can help stress levels and leave your emotions more balanced.

Make sure that the clothes you keep are the ones you really feel good in, and which make the most of your body shape. Your old ones don't have to go to landfill either; try selling them on sites like eBay, or taking them to your local charity shop where you will have the extra self-esteem boost of knowing your unwanted items have helped a charitable cause.

21

New for old

Once you've had your clear-out, and have your basic wardrobe down to the things you really feel good in, it's time to replace the old with something fresh. Revamping your wardrobe has multiple benefits for your self-esteem; you will most likely feel better about the way you look, and you'll be able to make the best of your body shape, whatever that may be. Choose new clothes which reflect your personality as well as being suitable for your lifestyle and career.

Remember, new to you doesn't have to mean brand new. Setting yourself up with a wardrobe to be proud of can be done on a shoestring and can be great fun. Try hunting for bargains at your local charity shops, car boot sales, and on websites such as eBay and Bigwardrobe.com.

22

Colour me happy

As well as choosing the right styles and cuts, your new wardrobe should be full of colours which suit your skin tone and boost your mood. Yellow is said to make you feel happier, blue is meant to calm and red is a power colour. If you are a fan of monochrome, you can still add these extra colours with accessories, such as a brightly coloured scarf, or with make-up, if you wear it.

23

A healthy glow, inside and out

Glowing, healthy skin is the basis for feeling good about the way you look. Looking in the mirror and seeing someone with a healthy appearance can have a very positive effect on your self-esteem. Put simply, when you look good, it is more likely you will feel good. To keep your skin in the best shape, make sure you cleanse and moisturise regularly. You don't need to buy expensive products as cheaper brands contain the same ingredients. Just ensure that the product is designed for your skin type, e.g. dry, oily, combination or normal.

(Continues...)

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Excerpted from 50 Tips to Build Your Self-Esteem by Anna Barnes. Copyright © 2014 Summersdale Publishers Ltd. Excerpted by permission of Summersdale Publishers Ltd.
All rights reserved. No part of this excerpt may be reproduced or reprinted without permission in writing from the publisher.
Excerpts are provided by Dial-A-Book Inc. solely for the personal use of visitors to this web site.

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Table of Contents

Contents

Introduction,
Section One: Understanding Self-Esteem,
Section Two: Eat Healthily, Feel Great,
Section Three: Body-Boosting Exercise,
Section Four: Look Good, Feel Great,
Section Five: De-Stress to Love Life,
Section Six: Sleep Well, Feel Well,
Section Seven: Goal-Setting for Greatness,
Section Eight: The Brain is a Powerful Thing,
Section Nine: Consider Complementary Therapies,
Notes,