Read an Excerpt
Introduction: Caregiving Is Personal
Over the years, a lot of caregivers have told me their stories. Some caregivers—still in the thick of it—share what they’re experiencing right now. Others—their duties completed—reflect on what that relationship, that role, has come to mean to them since the death of their loved one.
In This Book
Because of the complexity of caregiving, this book has three layers.
Resources for Caregivers
There is a wealth of information available to you as a caregiver, and it would be impossible to go into great depth about that information in a guide of this kind. The resources appendix will give you a running start as you look for the assistance your parent or family member may need and the support you may need. It is critical for a caregiver to get current and accurate information. Do your research, and always remember to check your sources.
Assessment Guides, Checklists, and Reminders
Everyone gathers information in a way that’s most efficient for him or her. I’ve found checklists helpful, so I’ve included some that might make your tasks easier. The lists in this appendix will help you assess your parent’s needs, look at safety issues in the home, and evaluate a nursing home, among other tasks.
Traditional Prayers of the Catholic Church
This section features traditional Catholic prayers. You may discover that, at this point in your life, they speak to you—and for you—in a new way. Then, too, you can use them if your loved one would like to pray in a formal way or would like to say with you some of the prayers he or she learned as a child. My favorite prayer is the rosary. You’ll find it here.
About the Author
My experience with the elderly and with caregiving has been professional as well as personal. With a degree in social welfare, I’ve worked with the active, well elder as a program coordinator at a senior center; with the independent needing some assistance as a case manager for in-home care; and with the neediest, the homebound, as the manager of Meals on Wheels for Seattle/King County. I’ve also served as an officer on the Council on Aging for Snohomish County, Washington, where my role included examining policy issues related to the field of aging.
St. John, patron of caregivers, pray for us.
Part One You Are a Caregiver
1
The Realities of Growing Old
“Not My Parent”
Dear God, time is just passing too fast. The thought of my life after my parent dies scares me. What will it be like? I know I need to trust in you. Help me accept your timeline. Amen.
Understanding Aging
Throughout our lives, our bodies change. As long as a human body is living, it’s growing older. So how can you tell if your parent is developing a new and potentially serious health problem, or if what you see is simply part of what could be called the natural aging process?
My Lord, so many people are afraid to grow old. Give me wisdom to understand the aging process. Keep me alert to the changes in my parent’s life. Make me an alert caregiver. Amen.
2
Welcome to Caregiving
The Sandwich Generation
Caregivers can feel like the “sandwich generation”: there’s pressure from your children on one side and your aging parent (or even grandparent) on the other, and sometimes it gets messy in the middle. Add in a spouse and a job, and it’s no wonder you often feel that you don’t have nearly enough time and energy for all you have to do.
Jesus Christ, sometimes my life feels like a tug-of-war, and I’m the rope. Keep me strong so I won’t break. I need you right here next to me. Amen.
Stages of Caregiving
Start by doing what’s necessary, then what’s possible, and suddenly you are doing the impossible.
There is no single, tidy, all-encompassing definition for caregiver. Rather, it’s a job that includes multiple responsibilities that vary not only from family to family, and not only from one family member to another, but also from caregiver to caregiver. The caregiver you are today may not be the caregiver you were six months ago, because the care your parent needs has changed. In the same way, the caregiver you are now may not be the caregiver you will be in six months. If your parent’s health improves, you may be less involved. If it worsens, you may be more involved.
Most Holy Spirit, guide me on my journey as a caregiver. Each step of the way I need you. I don’t know how long this trip will last. Please give me comfort and rest when I’m done. Amen.
The Basics of Catholic Caregiving
Some underlying themes of caregiving are repeated throughout this book. They can be used as basic principles and guidelines while you care for your parent. When you, the caregiver, are facing a particular issue or concern, it can be helpful to keep these in mind. Consider how your idea, plan, or solution corresponds—or doesn’t correspond—with these themes:
Father in heaven, I want to be a good caregiver, the best, because I know you want this for my parent. Gently remind me that I have a responsibility to you to care for my parent. I accept the assignment you have given me. Amen.
(Continues…)
Excerpted from "A Catholic Guide to Caring for Your Aging Parent"
by .
Copyright © 2006 Monica Dodd.
Excerpted by permission of Loyola Press.
All rights reserved. No part of this excerpt may be reproduced or reprinted without permission in writing from the publisher.
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