Read an Excerpt
Ascension
By Jacqueline Cassel Balboa Press
Copyright © 2016 Jacqueline Cassel
All rights reserved.
ISBN: 978-1-5043-5337-3
CHAPTER 1
Humanity's Ascension
People will do anything, no matter how absurd, to avoid facing their own souls.
— Carl Gustav Jung
As earth's vibrational or light frequency continues to ascend, so must the frequency of humanity. We have this amazing opportunity to contribute to the purging of collective karmic debt. We must each clear our shadow self in order for earth and humanity to continue on its path of ascension to higher dimensions.
The shadow is the darkness within the self that remains hidden. It's where we bury our secrets, disappointments, and self-loathing. It's a place of judgment and ridicule. It feeds off of fear and insecurity and leaves behind a sense of powerlessness.
I lived for more than three decades surrounded by a dark energy that manifested a life that progressively darkened. It attracted various forms of abuse, addiction, and energy vampirism into my life.
The dark energy surrounding me imparted feelings of exhaustion, isolation, and self-criticism. By high school, I had developed an eating disorder, which lingered for several years. I learned to self-sacrifice in order to feel loved or accepted by family, friends, and professional colleagues. I then developed a deep distrust of others, as my closest relationships resulted in continued betrayal.
If you find yourself in similar circumstances, you have the ability to choose a path of healing. You have the power to reclaim your personal power and hail victory over people and circumstances that previously disempowered you. This process is about fearlessly transforming your pain into understanding and purpose.
Our massive collective consciousness is drawing greater attention to abuse and addiction. You have an important role in healing your own life, which contributes to the healing all of humanity. We are all one.
CHAPTER 2
Inner Wounded Child
You must be the change you wish to see in the world.
— Mahatma Gandhi
Your inner wounded child is that which holds onto the pain from abuse. Abuse occurs in every community regardless of age, gender, sexual orientation, race, or economic status. As a survivor, abuse or addiction may have been part of your life experience, but it no longer needs to define you.
Children represent purity and humanity's opportunity for rebirth. They are symbolic of hope and God's love for us. They are born to love unconditionally and dream fearlessly. A child's memory of his or her true nature and life purpose is altered when adults impart a fear-based belief system complete with self-imposed limitations.
It is our collective responsibility to love and protect children in order to manifest a world of peace and tolerance. As for those who carry their wounded inner child throughout life, it's time to help them release their burden. It is humanity's responsibility to address the underlying causes of abuse.
It's time to look at the whole person and explore key culprits, including addiction and other personality disorders (i.e., narcissistic personality disorder).
CHAPTER 3
The Power of Addiction
If you're going through hell, keep going.
— Winston Churchill
The universe and everything within it seeks balance. Consider the balance of yin and yang, light and dark, joy and sadness. Our higher self seeks a mind, body, and spiritual balance. Family roles also require balancing in order to keep a family intact. A family afflicted with an obsessive-compulsive disease, such as addiction or other personality disorder, produces systemic disorder for the entire household. New roles take the attention away from the addict, unintentionally allowing him or her to avoid facing the truth or admitting there is a problem.
Addiction is a compulsion and dependence that can occur in relation to any substance or behavior.
Addictions to substances include alcohol, tobacco, prescription drugs, street drugs, and other unspecified substances. Caffeine and sugar are also addictive substances.
Behavioral addictions include power and control, food (overeating or undereating), sex, pornography (videotaping or viewing), technology (computers/Internet/television), working, exercising, shopping (from collections to hoarding), drama, love, or pain (inflicted by oneself or another). Being codependent and playing the victim role can also become addictive for many.
Impulse addictions include gambling, shopping, shoplifting, and pyromania.
Recognizing Personality Traits
It's important to recognize the following personality traits, whether you are married to, parent, live with, befriend, or work with an addict. You may be the addict on a path to self-discovery yourself. Addiction is a mental, physical, and spiritual malady. Admitting you need help in reclaiming your personal power is the first step in reclaiming your life.
If you recognize any or all of the following personality traits within your life or the life of a loved one, it's important to seek help. An addict will continue to suffer from the disease until she or he chooses to command control over his or her life.
Wears a Mask
An addict wears a mask to shield others from seeing his or her truth. It serves to protect his or her secrets, feelings of shame, and sense of inadequacy. Most addicts are high functioning and continue to go to work, drive their children to activities, and maintain the appearance of a happy family life. They may fly under the radar in complete denial of the disease that increasingly takes over their lives.
Denial of the disease is what allows an addict to believe, "This time will be different." Weekend-only binge drinkers are still alcoholics. Even abstinent alcoholics are still alcoholics.
Alcoholics Anonymous refers to the disease of alcoholism as "cunning, baffling, powerful." Those in abstinent recovery would agree that their disease "tells" them that they do not have a disease. There are unseen forces that manipulate and deceive an addict into believing she or he doesn't need help.
Normalizes or Minimizes
An addict's obsessive-compulsive and related abusive behavior is to normalize or rationalize. "All of our friends drink on the weekends. I don't have a problem."
She or he can minimize in an attempt to deflect from himself or herself. "Everyone has problems. It's not a big deal. I have it under control." "Every family is dysfunctional. Have you seen the neighbors?"
Victimization and Blaming
An addict glorifies his or her success and takes credit when things go well. She or he happily points out the faults of others but has extreme difficulty accepting personal accountability. When things do not go well, an addict adopts the role of victim or even martyr, immediately assigning blame elsewhere.
Impulsive Behavior or Instant Gratification
Do you find yourself overmedicating with prescription drugs or seeking your next high from illegal drugs? When you have a stressful day, do you routinely use impromptu shopping therapy for relief? Or perhaps there is someone in your life who is addicted to drama and actively seeks gossip to position herself in power above someone else. Impulsivity and instant gratification is about achieving an intoxicating high.
Egoism and Narcissism
An addict is renowned for his or her ego-driven emotions that hunger for praise and to be the center of attention. She or he may believe they are more important than other people, and many may even possess an elitist view of himself or herself without possessing any of the achievements.
Addicts live on a perpetual emotional roller coaster that oscillates between a sense of grandiosity and self-hatred. Although the addict may attempt to manipulate you into believing that you are the problem or the cause for his or her highs and lows, you do not have to pay to join this ride.
If you express an opposing opinion or don't fully comply with an addict's rules, the obsession turns to retribution. Mind games become an integral part of the strategy because she or he thinks she or he's smarter than you.
Emotional State
Addicts often have low self-esteem and possess a deep fear and anxiety that they will be exposed. Emotional maturity is stunted at the age the addict develops a compulsion for his or her drug of choice. So even as an adult, they may demonstrate emotional immaturity or childlike behavior.
An addict can grow irritable or be angered in a microsecond, triggering vulgarity and personal attacks. The addict may even seek out conflict at work or home, so she or he can feel the intoxication of a "win."
Due to an addict's ego, insecurity, and volatile range of emotions, she or he is typically emotionally unavailable. This lack of intimacy allows the addict to exploit others as a means to an end.
Lies and Manipulation
Lies and manipulation are critical to how an addict advances his or her personal agenda, even at the expense of his or her own family. That's the disease. Endless lies infiltrate every facet of the addict's personal and professional life.
Addicts often have to make up stories for lost track of time or missing money. They typically adopt the role as victim, assigning blame elsewhere. They often choose to play victim and character-assassinate anyone who attempts to reveal the truth.
Free will gives us the gift of choice over our own thoughts, emotions, feelings, and actions. Any notion that you can change or control someone else is only an illusion and is returned to you through karma.
Triangulation is a common form of manipulation whereby the addict will not communicate with a particular family member as a form of punishment and control but communicates through a third person (i.e., a child). This tactic can be used to further manipulate relationships by positioning one person against another with character assassination.
Gaslighting is a form of abuse that addicts/narcissists/sociopaths use to overwrite someone else's reality. By frequently providing false or twisted information, his or her intent is to manipulate a victim into doubting his or her own memories or sanity. The question of success, however, requires that his or her victim is not aware of the abuser's true nature. Once the truth is exposed, the game is over.
Narcissists and sociopaths often project their behavior onto their victims. For example, if the abuser lies and cheats, she or he will accuse the victim of lying and cheating. It becomes an abusive mind game to convince the victim she or he is defective. The intention is to target the victim's mental stability and self-esteem to become codependent and need the abuser.
The abuser is overcome with a compulsive need to win. His or her goal is to invoke some sort of emotion or reaction. The best way to handle a narcissist or sociopath is to provide no reaction whatsoever. If you must interact with one, communicate succinctly and without emotion.
Rape is a form of sexual violence whereby one person forces sexual acts upon another. The act itself is typically related to a mental illness, sense of grandiosity, and/or to simply disempower the person being raped. Breaking your silence is the only way to end this cycle of abuse that occurs in marriages, between acquaintances, to children, or to those with diminished capacity.
No means no. Set clear boundaries and be prepared to speak your truth without shame. Otherwise, the silence becomes shackles you carry for the rest of your life.
Covert incest is an emotional form of incest that involves an unhealthy relationship between a parent and child, whereby the child serves as a sort of emotional spouse. Overt incest includes sexual activity.
Financial
An addict's financial losses due to gambling, shopping, unemployment, etc. is symbolic of the energetic drains within his or her subtle energy system.
Shame
Admitting one needs mental health or other help to overcome an addiction is unfortunately still considered taboo in many societies. There's a misconception that addicts are lazy or weak willed, which accompanies a great deal of shame and self-loathing.
The dialogue and acceptance of addiction treatment needs to change. Walking a path to self-healing is inspiring and brings hope to others.
Geo Relo
When an addict's truth has been discovered or they hit a streak of less than desirable outcomes, such as gambling debt, exposed extramarital affairs, and loss of employment, they may desire a fresh start where their truths remain hidden. What the addict doesn't understand is that she or he will continue to manifest the same people, places, and outcomes no matter where she or he lives. The real shift must occur within himself or herself.
Boundary Issues
Addicts may not recognize (or may choose to ignore) societally accepted boundaries with objects or people. Addicts may steal money or items they can sell for money.
When an addict becomes obsessed with another individual, invasion of privacy and escalation to stalking are very serious matters.
I experienced invasions of my privacy throughout my life — from snooping in my childhood bedroom to predatory snooping through my professional office. Some other examples include having a boss (dressed in disguise) disclose the many hours she sat watching me work. Several years later, a friend busted one of my neighbors video-recording into my room through a sliding glass door. I have experienced spyware loaded to my computer for purposes of monitoring my communications. I was followed and video-recorded by a man that I kept seeing in various places for months. When I approached him, he ignored me and tried hiding behind a tree as though he were suddenly invisible. I've also experienced being stalked where one man broke into my personal e-mail accounts and possessed significant intimate knowledge as though he'd been in my home on more than one occasion. If you continue to attract experiences such as these, there is a way to free yourself from the energetic vampirism and release yourself from the harassing oppression. You can break the cycle of abuse.
When it comes to sex addiction, clear boundaries must also be set between the addict and his or her children to prevent sexual abuse or incest. Children must always be allowed to speak freely, and they must be believed. Very little hurts more than an abused child being told she or he is a liar.
From my earliest memories, I attracted friends who were experiencing physical, sexual, and/or emotional abuse by family members. In the early years, I typically learned of the abuse due to the family member's attempts to include me in the debauchery during play dates. By the time I was a teenager, I received a call from a friend who had a gun in hand. He said couldn't take it anymore and was calling to say good-bye. I knew he called because he wanted to be saved. I prayed God would help me find the right words to give him hope. Our several hours on the phone included a lot of silence as I empathically shared his pain with him. I wouldn't hang up until I knew he would live another day.
Reckless Behavior
The more compulsive an addict, the more risky or reckless his or her behavior becomes. Examples include unprotected, high-risk sex and experimenting with drug cocktails. I've also worked with addicts who transferred their intoxication of risky behaviors to more socially acceptable activities. It doesn't make their impulsive behavior any less risky.
Paying the Price
When addictions within a relationship or family remain unaddressed, long-term results are pervasive. The costs to abusive and neglectful parental behavior result in significant emotional, mental, physical, financial, and spiritual scarring or PTSD (posttraumatic stress disorder). If you or a loved one has been surrounded by addiction, you may have learned the following:
• conditional love on someone else's terms or limitations
• difficulty in trusting others and in God's love
• to have low self-esteem and feel less than worthy
• to keep the peace at all costs
• to self-sacrifice so others feel better
• to seek approval from others as a substitute for love
• to be terrified of angry people or criticism
• fear, anxiety, and the inability to cope under stressful situations
• to be emotionally unavailable due to abuse, betrayal, and abandonment
• to be isolated to protect the truth about addiction and abuse
• to do anything to avoid the pain of abandonment
• to be codependent
• to try to control situations and outcomes
(Continues...)
Excerpted from Ascension by Jacqueline Cassel. Copyright © 2016 Jacqueline Cassel. Excerpted by permission of Balboa Press.
All rights reserved. No part of this excerpt may be reproduced or reprinted without permission in writing from the publisher.
Excerpts are provided by Dial-A-Book Inc. solely for the personal use of visitors to this web site.
