Attached: The New Science of Adult Attachment and How It Can Help YouFind?and Keep?Love

by Amir Levine, Rachel Heller

Overview

We rely on science to tell us everything from what to eat to when and how long to exercise, but what about relationships? Is there a scientific explanation for why some people seem to navigate relationships effortlessly, while others struggle? According to psychiatrist and neuroscientist Dr. Amir Levine and Rachel Heller, the answer is a resounding "yes."

In Attached, Levine and Heller reveal how an understanding of adult attachment-the most advanced relationship science in existence today-can help us find and sustain love. Pioneered by psychologist John Bowlby in the 1950s, the field of attachment posits that each of us behaves in relationships in one of three distinct ways:

• Anxious people are often preoccupied with their relationships and tend to worry about their partner's ability to love them back
• Avoidant people equate intimacy with a loss of independence and constantly try to minimize closeness.
• Secure people feel comfortable with intimacy and are usually warm and loving.

  In this book Levine and Heller guide readers in determining what attachment style they and their mate (or potential mate) follow, offering a road map for building stronger, more fulfilling connections with the people they love.

Product Details

ISBN-13:	9781585429134
Publisher:	Penguin Publishing Group
Publication date:	01/05/2012
Pages:	304
Sales rank:	87
Product dimensions:	5.90(w) x 8.90(h) x 0.90(d)
Age Range:	18 Years

About the Author

Amir Levine, M.D. is an adult, child, and adolescent psychiatrist and neuroscientist. He graduated from the residency program at New York Presbyterian Hospital/Columbia University and for the past few years Amir has been conducting neuroscience research at Columbia under the mentorship of Nobel Prize Laureate Eric Kandel. Amir also has a passion for working with patients and it is in this context, while working with mothers and children in a therapeutic nursery, that he first discovered the power of attachment theory. His clinical work together with his deep understanding of the brain from a neuroscientist’s perspective contribute to his appreciation of attachment theory and its remarkable effectiveness in helping to heal patients. Amir lives in New York City.
Rachel Heller, M.A. studied at Columbia University with some of the most prominent scholars in the field of social psychology. She now works with families and couples as a psychologist in private practice. Rachel lives in Israel.

What People are Saying About This

From the Publisher

"Based on twenty-five years of research, laced with vivid and instructive examples, and enriched with interesting and well-designed exercises, the book provides deep insights and invaluable skills that will benefit every reader."-Phillip R. Shaver, PhD, Distinguished Professor of Psychology,  University of California, Davis and Past President, International Association for Relationship Research

Editorial Reviews

"A groundbreaking book that redefines what it means to be in a relationship."
—John Gray, PhD., bestselling author of Men Are from Mars, Women Are  from Venus

"Chock-full of tips, questionnaires, and case studies, this is a solidly researched and intriguing approach to the perennial trials of œlooking for love in all the right places and improving existing relationships."
—Publishers Weekly

"A practical, enjoyable guide to forming rewarding romantic relationships."
—Kirkus Reviews

"Amir Levine and Rachel Heller have written a very smart book: It is clear, easy to read and insightful. It's a valuable tool whether you are just entering a relationship with a new partner or-as in my case—even after you've been married 21 years, and had thought you knew everything about your spouse."
—Scientific American

"Anyone who has been plagued byt hat age-old question—'What is his deal?"—could benefit from a crash course in attachment theory."
—Elle

'This is real science, not slickly packaged personal opinion.The theories are clearly explained using lots of examples. There is advice for avoiding unhappy pairings and for getting out of relationships that are doomed to repetitive, negative interaction. This could save your customers a fortune in therapy bills."
—Retailing Insight

"This book is both fascinating and fun. Attached will help every reader understand whom they are attracted to as partners, why, and what they can do to reach fulfillment in love. I enjoyed every moment."
—Janet Klosko, PhD., co-author of the bestselling Reinventing Your Life

"The authors have distilled years of attachment theory research on the nature of human relationships into a practical, highly readable guide."
—John B. Herman, M.D., Associate Chief of Psychiatry and Distinguished Scholar of Medical Psychiatry, Massachusetts General Hospital and Associate Professor of Psychiatry, Harvard Medical School

"Based on twenty-five years of research, laced with vivid and instructive examples, and enriched with interesting and well-designed exercises, the book provides deep insights and invaluable skills that will benefit every reader."
—Phillip R. Shaver, PhD, Distinguished Professor of Psychology,  University of California, Davis and Past President, International Association for Relationship Research

"Based on twenty-five years of research, laced with vivid and instructive examples, and enriched with interesting and well-designed exercises, the book provides deep insights and invaluable skills that will benefit every reader."-Phillip R. Shaver, PhD, Distinguished Professor of Psychology,  University of California, Davis and Past President, International Association for Relationship Research

From the Publisher

According to psychiatrist and neuroscientist Levine and social psychologist Heller, one’s adult romantic partnerships have patterns similar to those one has as a child with one’s parents. Our individual attachment styles are thus, they conclude, hardwired into our brains. Focusing on three main attachment styles (secure, anxious, and avoidant), the authors explain the biological facts behind our relationship needs, teach readers how to identify their own and loved ones’ attachment styles, and warn of the emotional price of connecting with someone with drastically different intimacy needs. Teaching readers communication skills to breach these differences, the authors stress that people have very different capacities for intimacy, and that partners must ensure each other’s emotional well-being. Chock-full of tips, questionnaires, and case studies, this is a solidly researched and intriguing approach to the perennial trials of “looking for love in all the right places” and improving existing relationships. (Jan.)

Publishers Weekly

There is a scientific theory behind the ways we approach and develop adult relationships, write neuroscientist Levine and social psychologist Heller, and understanding how it workswill help you find the right mate—or improve your existing partnership.

Adult attachment theory, which was pioneered in the 1950s by British psychoanalyst John Bowlby, posits that human beings are genetically predisposed toward coupling, andthat a secure partnership is essential to our emotional and physical well-being. According to the authors, we all have a particular "attachment style" that governs our actions and attitudes toward romantic interaction.The ideal, and most prevalent,attachment style is "secure." A person with a secure style feels that his partner provides a loving and supportive "secure base," and that he can provide that same emotional security in return. The authors suggest that human beings are by nature social creatures, and that even when we crave independence, it's the presence of a secure partner that allows us to explore the world on our own—this is called the "dependency paradox." The other two attachment styles, "anxious" and "avoidant," are the major focus of this book. In clear terms, Levine and Heller explain how we can diagnose our attachment style and what steps can be taken to combat its negative effects. For example, someone with an anxious attachment style has a different view toward intimacy and communication (anxious types tend to obsess over relationships and worry about their affection being reciprocated) than someone with an avoidant attachment style (who tend to minimize closeness and undermine emotional connection). The analysis of each attachment style is accompanied by a set of behavior patterns and real-life anecdotes to provide the reader with relatable social context. The authors write that, despite one's age or experience, change is possible, and with the right mind-set, even those who feel defeated by dating—or are stuck in an unsatisfying relationship—can find a solid partnership.

A practical, enjoyable guide to forming rewarding romantic relationships.

Kirkus Reviews