Attract Families to Your Church and Keep Them Coming Back
Attract Families to Your Church and Keep Them Coming Back
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Product Details
| ISBN-13: | 9781426786839 |
|---|---|
| Publisher: | Abingdon Press |
| Publication date: | 05/20/2014 |
| Sold by: | Barnes & Noble |
| Format: | eBook |
| File size: | 1 MB |
About the Author
Read an Excerpt
Attract Families to Your Church and Keep Them Coming Back
By Linda Ranson Jacobs
Abingdon Press
Copyright © 2014 Abingdon PressAll rights reserved.
ISBN: 978-1-4267-8683-9
CHAPTER 1
The Church That Might Have Been
The LORD will guide you always; he will satisfy your needs in a sun-scorched land and will strengthen your frame. You will be like a well-watered garden, like a spring whose waters will never fail. —Isaiah 58:11
There she was, a large church in a metropolitan city right in the middle of the Bible Belt. The steps, cascading from her front door down to the sidewalk and the manicured grounds, were magnificent. This church was a beautiful building with ornate designs on the outside. The sanctuary was elegant and had a huge pipe organ, upholstered pews, a large pulpit and choir loft, and beautiful wooden beams overhead. There were also several large parking lots attached to the property of this church.
The playground was well furnished. As a matter of fact, there were several playgrounds. There was a nice well-equipped gym for the children, with basketball goals and other equipment that teens and adults could use. There was also a well-furnished, up-to-date commercial kitchen.
Every day during the week, the church was filled with more than one hundred children. Laughter filled the rooms. Joyful sounds, music, and excitement could be felt around the church building. Infants, toddlers, and preschoolers lived in these rooms Monday through Friday in the church-sponsored preschool program.
Parents came in and out of this church building from early Monday morning until 6:00 p.m. on Friday evening. When one adds in all the staff it takes to care for over a hundred children, you can imagine all of the people who had access to this beautiful church building every week.
On Sunday when the childcare was closed and church services were held, this church had a grand total of twelve members. Twelve people! Even though the church building met all the state codes, including the fire code and health code, and met city building standards, there really was no church—only an almost-empty building every Sunday.
What Happened to This Church?
Down through the years the church members had moved to outlying communities and suburbs and changed their membership to churches in these new areas. Or the children had grown up and moved away, while the older generation gradually died off. The only way the church could survive was to lease its building to a childcare and preschool program. The saddest part of this story was that there was already an entire church within this building and the membership of the church didn't recognize it. The building was filled to the brim five days a week with a lot of nontraditional families and even some traditional two-parent families, but most of the two-parent families were lower income and not what the church was used to having (or wanting) as its membership.
While the church's members might have moved, left town, or died, there was a newer generation of
• single parents,
• children living with grandparents,
• stepfamilies and blended families, and
• lower-income two-parent families.
And all of these families were using the church building five days a week. However, none of the church members saw the potential of reaching out and re-creating the church's emphasis. Perhaps it was stubbornness. Or maybe the elderly members couldn't bring themselves to accept these different kinds of families worshiping in their church on Sunday.
Whatever the reason, the members of this church missed an opportunity to create a new kind of worship experience and an opportunity to explode the kingdom of God with new converts. This sad commentary is all too common in other churches as well.
We see and hear about many churches in similar situations, while many ministers and congregations are searching for new converts and members. Many simply don't know how to go about making the changes needed to update or re-create their church. I'm not saying that doctrine needs to be changed or theology needs to be compromised or negotiated. But what is evident, though, is that in order for churches in our country to survive they need to change and shift their emphasis to new kinds of ministry if they want to attract families and keep them coming back.
If you are part of a church that is seeking to attract church members and grow, perhaps you might want to take a look at the community where your church is located. Are you like the "Church That Might Have Been"? Do you want to grow by adding new families? Has your community changed over the years? Do you need to refocus your attention on different types of families? Or perhaps you need to look out the windows of your church to see the various cultures and ethnic groups that have moved into your community.
If we want to build our church membership today, and if we want to preserve the church of the future, we need to look at where our communities are and what kinds of families are in our communities. It is not about programs or gimmicks. It is about families. It is about relationships. It is about reaching out and sharing the love of Christ to a new and different generation in a culturally diverse and ever-changing world.
David T. Olson, the author of The American Church in Crisis, says,
The ongoing downturn in church attendance this millennium is partially related to external cultural changes. Many of the people in the emerging culture do not share the philosophical assumptions of 50- year-old churches or even of churches that are just 20 year old. Largely unaware of these changes, many churches continue to operate in modes and mentalities that no long resonate with our culture.
Think about some of the various types of churches, programs, and cycles we've experienced over the last couple of generations:
• Bus ministries. While not as large as they were during the 1980s, some churches still have successful bus ministries.
• TV and Internet churches
• House churches
• Store-front, small start-up churches that expect to grow into megachurches. Some have been successful at this.
• Megachurches like Willow Creek Community Church in South Barrington, Illinois; Saddleback Community Church in Lake Forest, California; The Potter's House in Dallas, Texas; Lakewood Church in Houston, Texas; and Life Church in Oklahoma City, Oklahoma
• Small-group Bible studies
All of these are valuable and good for the population they are meant for, but not every person wants to
• belong to a large megachurch;
• be in a small, intimate, group Bible study;
• attend a video service in a location away from the main speaker every week;
• be in or feel comfortable in a small or midsize church; or
• put their child on a bus to go to a church several miles away.
A church that wants to enlarge their membership is going to have to figure out how to connect with the people in their community. That means researching and finding out exactly who is in your community:
1. If you want to know about your community, talk to the public schools. They will have a good handle on what kinds of families are in your community.
2. Go to the service agencies. Who do they serve or reach out to? Is it low income, military, foster care families, single parents?
3. Check with the local Chamber of Commerce to see how it expects your community to grow in the next few years. Does it know of a particular kind of business or a special group of people it will be trying to attract in the future?
4. Check with your own denomination's head office or research team. Many denominations have predictions you can glean information from to take back to your elders, deacons, or focus groups.
For years when people who did not attend church on a regular basis experienced a crisis or had a problem, they would search out a minister or a local church. Church used to be the mainstay in communities. That is no longer true. We have brought up an entire generation that was not raised in church. They no longer think of church as the first place to go to for help. They go to a secular psychologist or therapist. They might even indulge in a new religion, one that doesn't believe in Jesus Christ. They turn to the Internet, TV, and social media.
All of us are seriously going to have to find ways to bring the lost into the local church. Many of us are going to have to venture outside our comfort zones in order to reach the generation that doesn't consider church to be a valuable option for life problems. Let's go back to the "Church That Might Have Been" and see what they could have done.
Some Suggested Solutions
What if this church had held a VBS in the evenings and held sessions for the parents also? It could have been a stepping-stone to bring some of these families into the church family.
What if this church had started a Sunday morning "family" class where nontraditional and traditional families were allowed to worship together or at least all read the same scripture each week? Family discussion questions could be e-mailed each week to discuss what each family member had learned about that week's lesson.
What if there were a single-dad support group where dads who had full custody, part-time custody, or only had their children for visitation a couple of times a month could learn how to parent alone and come together for support, for fellowship, and to encourage one another?
What if this church had invested in some single-parenting seminars to help single moms with parenting skills?
What if they held some classes on how to successfully create a stepfamily? Single parents wanting to marry could then receive training in how to blend their new family.
Or newly blended families could come together and be taught how to strengthen their marriage and parent the children together.
Could some two-parent families use some sessions on strengthening their marriage and maybe even some parenting workshops? Perhaps the church could bring in special speakers to help in this area.
What if the church developed a car-care ministry, food pantry, or a clothes closet for the single moms? And what if the single moms volunteered in exchange for the services?
What if some financial classes were held and traditional two-parent families, blended families, and single parents were taught wise money management?
What if this church hosted small-group classes or special support programs? Some examples are
• GriefShare (www.griefshare.org),
• DivorceCare (www.divorcecare.org),
• DivorceCare for Kids, (www.dc4k.org),
• Celebrate Recovery Support groups (www.celebraterecovery .com/), and
• Single & Parenting (www.singleandparenting.org).
What about the grandparents who are parenting the second and even third generations? Don't they deserve some support, encouragement, and even some help for their tired bodies?
Let's not forget the "sandwich generation." These are the people caught in between or sandwiched between raising their children and caring for elderly parents or grandparents. These people are exhausted. They are barely able to attend a traditional Sunday service, and if the truth were known, many probably doze through the service. However, they want to be fed. They need to connect with God and they need encouragement from their church family, even if it is only on Sunday mornings.
Another currently growing segment of our population is the boomerang generation. These are the single adults who have graduated from college or tech school who have come back home to roost until they can find a job and get on their feet. Some are also divorced adults trying to get back on their feet. Many don't attend church, and yet they, too, deserve the church's attention.
These are only a few of the different types of families and people that a church can reach out to in our world. Church attendance should matter to us as Christians today. There are plenty of people in our communities but church attendance is declining.
From The American Church in Crisis by David T. Olson, we read, "When church attendance declines, fewer people hear the gospel for the first time, take the sacraments, or hear of God's love for them. Fewer marriages are restored. Fewer teenagers find a listening ear. The question of 'How many people attend church?' matters deeply because people matter."
What if this church of just twelve people had prayed and earnestly sought the Lord's design for a different kind of vibrant church in that metropolitan area? Maybe, just maybe, more souls could have been brought into the Kingdom. More hurting people could have found peace and contentment in the Word. Perhaps some would have latched onto a joy-filled church family to replace the family they lost along the way.
Church Is Important in Our World
I firmly believe in church. I love going to church. I find contentment and joy being in church and worshiping with church family. Many times I have found myself bowing my head in the sanctuary of a church and just being in fellowship with the Father. Other people and sounds become oblivious to me when I'm with the Father. To me the church is God's dwelling place. It is God's home and his temple in my world today.
Over the years I have done a lot of different things and had a lot of different roles in churches. I've had an unusual vantage point to observe the inner workings of a church. For almost fifty years I have been a church pianist, organist, keyboardist, and accompanist in churches across the United States. I have served in all sizes of churches, including large churches, midsize churches, and small rural churches. I've served in churches in large metropolitan areas such as San Diego, California, and in small rural areas such as Youngsville, North Carolina.
Because ministers and I spend a lot of time together in the sanctuary getting ready for services, I usually develop a good relationship with the church staff. Because many times I am visible in front of the congregation, I develop a solid relationship with many members of the church. When I remember someone's favorite hymn or praise and worship song, or his or her loved one's favorite songs, those casual relationships grow deeper. And because I've played for hundreds of funerals and weddings, I have developed an intimate relationship with many congregants. After developing a ministry to the hurting and to single parents, I've been invited to speak all over the United States and Canada in various denominations. Almost weekly I hear from church leaders in other countries as well. With the popularity of social media, connecting with others in ministry in other parts of the world has become easier.
Over the years I've learned what attracts different people to church. I've also learned what sends some of them screaming away from a church family. I've heard stories that would curl your hair. I've prayed for congregations and prayed with ministers and individual servants that they would find their calling. I've laughed, cried, and shared many moments of joy.
The Lord has seen fit to allow me to pull strength from trials and tribulations in my own life. The Lord has been good to me in keeping my desire to be with him alive and strong. I grew up in church and I hope to die going to church. I believe church is only a prelude to how wonderful sitting at the feet of Jesus is going to be. Do you get the picture that I love church?
I've also started a church preschool and later worked as a children's ministry director in a church in Oklahoma. I have gotten close to the families through the children. I currently serve as coordinator of Adult Care Ministries at a church in Florida.
Like I said, I have had a very unusual position to observe the church for many years. Throughout this book I will share true scenarios and give you the benefit of a wealth of experience and success for growing churches.
You Don't Know What You Don't Know
Our world is changing rapidly. With the advent of many new technologies, connecting with the people in our communities should be easier. Older people are living longer and babies continue to be born daily. With better health care and new advances in medicine, children who would have died years ago are surviving. In the United States, immigrants are arriving at staggering rates. And yet our overall church attendance in America is declining.
Thom Shultz in the Holy Soup blog entitled "5 Ways the Church Will Change" presents the question, "Is the American church fading away? Will the losses in membership and attendance lead to a marginalized church presence such as that in the present-day Europe?"
(Continues...)
Excerpted from Attract Families to Your Church and Keep Them Coming Back by Linda Ranson Jacobs. Copyright © 2014 Abingdon Press. Excerpted by permission of Abingdon Press.
All rights reserved. No part of this excerpt may be reproduced or reprinted without permission in writing from the publisher.
Excerpts are provided by Dial-A-Book Inc. solely for the personal use of visitors to this web site.
Table of Contents
Contents
Acknowledgments","1. The Church That Might Have Been",
"2. What Parents Want",
"3. Taking a Page out of the Book of Nehemiah",
"4. Creating a Family-Friendly Church for Single-Parent Families",
"5. Nontraditional Families Are the New Normal",
"6. Other Common Family Structures",
"7. Looks Count and So Do Church Attitudes",
"8. Keeping the Family in Family Ministry",
"9. Electronic Steeples",
"10. Making Worship Family Friendly",
"11. What to Do with Those Challenging Kids",
"12. More Help Attracting Families to Your Church",