Be Safe, Love Mom: A Military Mom's Stories of Courage, Comfort, and Surviving Life on the Home Front

by Elaine Lowry Brye, Nan Gatewood Satter (With)

Overview

When you enlist in the United States military, you don't just sign up for duty; you also commit your loved ones to lives of service all their own.

No one knows this better than Elaine Brye, an "Army brat" turned military wife and the mother of four officers—one each in the Army, Navy, Air Force, and Marine Corps. For more than a decade she's endured countless teary goodbyes, empty chairs at Thanksgiving dinners, and sleepless hours waiting for phone calls in the night. She's navigated the complicated tangle of emotions—pride, worry, fear, hope, and deep, enduring love—that are part and parcel of life as a military mother.

In Be Safe, Love Mom Elaine braids together her own personal experiences with those of fellow parents she's met along the way. She offers gentle guidance and hard-earned wisdom on topics ranging from that first anxious goodbye to surrendering all control of your child, from finding comfort in the support of the military community and the healing power of faith to coping with the enormous sacrifices life as a military mother requires. Readers looking for encouragement and hard-to-come-by information as they travel the challenging road of having a child in uniform will find Elaine a wise and trusted friend, and Be Safe, Love Mom an essential handbook to membership in a strong and special sisterhood.

Product Details

ISBN-13:	9781610396370
Publisher:	PublicAffairs
Publication date:	04/05/2016
Edition description:	First Trade Paper Edition
Pages:	272
Sales rank:	18,436
Product dimensions:	5.60(w) x 8.90(h) x 0.90(d)

About the Author

Elaine Lowry Brye, an avid supporter of and advocate for military families, served as a longtime moderator for the USNA-Parents listserv and was one of the founding organizers of its parent community website and Facebook page. She became a national figure when she introduced Michelle Obama at the 2012 Democratic Convention. She lives with her husband in northeast Ohio.

Nan Gatewood Satter, a writer and independent book editor, is the daughter of a highly decorated Navy fighter pilot. She lives with her husband and son in New York's Hudson Valley.

Table of Contents

Author's Note ix

Introduction 1

Letting Go 19

You're in the Army, Navy, Air Force, Marines Now 21

Becoming a Warrior 31

Semper Gumby 43

From Ballet Slippers to Combat Boots 53

Oh, the Places They'll Go 73

Backpack 79

You Are Not Alone 85

The Sisterhood and Bevond 87

The Biggest Family in the World 99

Love in the Mail 107

It's Okay If You Break Down in the Dairy Aisle 115

Support from Unexpected Places 125

What Holds Us Together 133

I Believe in Miracles 135

Climb Every Mountain 147

Nourish Your Soul 153

Sandals on the Ground 163

The Calling 181

Sacrifice 191

Saying Goodbye Again and Again 193

The Things We Carry 203

It All Takes a Toll 215

The Sneaky Bastard 221

The Gold Star 229

No Guts, No Glory 237

Acknowledgments 253

Sources/References 260

Editorial Reviews

01/05/2015
In her debut, Brye offers an invaluable handbook for parents of U.S. military service members. An Army brat, Air Force wife, ROTC candidate, and mother of four military officers—one each in the Army, Navy, Air Force, and Marines—she draws her advice from hard-won experience. Brye explains everything, including why the rigors of boot camp are essential and how normal it is for parents to feel emotionally overwhelmed after a child’s deployment. Most comfortingly, she states that military parents are all in it together: members of the military and their families are, well, family, across all branches of service. Her best advice for both parents and service members is to remain “Semper Gumby”—that is, always flexible. Having Christmas in August? No problem. Parental stress, volunteering to help other military families, and the role of spiritual faith are also discussed. Brye doesn’t shrink from the hardest topics, including traumatic brain injuries, PTSD, and, most unthinkably, casualty calls. For nonmilitary families, her work is a powerful reminder of the sacrifices made by those who serve and by their loved ones. For military families, Brye’s book will comfort and inform. (Mar.)

Publishers Weekly

An invaluable guide for parents and family of U.S. military service members, Be Safe, Love Mom offers both comfort and invaluable, hard-won advice from a woman who knows all about the emotional rigors of military life. Elaine Lowry Brye is herself an “Army brat” and Air Force wife, one who went on to become the mother of four military officers (one each in the Army, Navy, Air Force, and Marines). Bryes' is a book meant to provide sympathy and practical support to families like hers by getting real about the overwhelming emotions involved in watching a loved one enter the armed forces, and serves as a reminder to all of the sacrifices made not just by our fighting men and women but by their families, as well.”—Archetypes.com

“This is the story for all families, as the nurturing love of a mom watches her children grow, while also learning when to let go. For a generation tempered by the horrors of September 11th, two wars and terrorism, Be Safe, Love Mom reminds us the sacrifice isn't just on the battlefield, but in our homes. Her poignant stories of courage will move you, the honor of these brave men and women in uniform will inspire you, and the book will reaffirm your faith in our country.” —Steve Scully, Senior Executive Producer & Political Editor, C-SPAN

“The military brat, spouse and veteran whose four children are officers has only heartfelt concern for ‘we mothers' and, presumably, fathers. Parents might appreciate reading her comforting momilies{yes, ‘momilies'}while ‘on this roller-coaster ride for which your child has volunteered you.'" —Military Times

“[An] invaluable handbook…For nonmilitary families, her work is a powerful reminder of the sacrifices made by those who serve and by their loved ones. For military families, Brye's book will comfort and inform.” —Publishers Weekly

“A simply written, very honest book about how parenting a child at war feels. Through author Brye's experiences and those of others who share their stories with her, one gains an understanding of the demands made on families, demands and sacrifices that don't make the national news until a flag-draped coffin is involved. Poignant sometimes to point of inducing tears, Be Safe, Love Mom is not easy reading. It may not even be possible to read at one setting, but it is one of those books that ought to be required reading for every citizen.” —New York Journal of Books

“A compassionate, insightful guide for military parents and the rest of us who are in their debt.”—Kirkus Reviews

From the Publisher

2015-01-14
The mother of four serving military officers pays tribute to the parents of children in active service, especially mothers, America's "unsung heroes."Brye, an advocate for military families who administers the Naval Academy's Parents Listserv and Facebook page, achieved national prominence when she was chosen to introduce Michelle Obama at the 2012 Democratic Convention. The author explains that despite her own Republican convictions, she appreciates the activities of both the first lady and Jill Biden on behalf of military families. "There is the bravery required to go out and fight the battles," writes Brye, "and there is the bravery to keep the home fires burning." Coming from a multigenerational military family—her parents served during World War II, her husband is a retired officer, and she has four children on active duty—she knows the terrain. Not only do parents need to endure the worry when their sons and daughters are on dangerous deployments and out of touch, mothers also face the trauma of severe disconnection, which begins when their children go through the toughening-up process of boot camp. The author writes of her own ordeal under such circumstances as akin to "swimming under water without an oxygen tank," and she describes overcoming fighting the urge to protect a child in the military as learning to "embrace the suck." At the same time, Brye advises mothers to cut themselves some slack, citing her own occasional meltdowns as something to be expected under stress. The author also touches on the special difficulties for women in the military, as they must demonstrate physical toughness, but not get too chummy with their male counterparts, in order to gain respect. A compassionate, insightful guide for military parents and the rest of us who are in their debt.

Kirkus Review