Beyond Tears: Living After Losing a Child

by Ellen Mitchell

Overview

Meant to comfort and give direction to bereaved parents, Beyond Tears is written by nine mothers who have each lost a child. This revised edition includes a new chapter written from the perspective of surviving siblings.
The death of a child is that unimaginable loss no parent ever expects to face. In Beyond Tears, nine mothers share their individual stories of how to survive in the darkest hour. They candidly share with other bereaved parents what to expect in the first year and long beyond:
*Harmonious relationships can become strained
*There is a new definition of what one considers "normal"
*The question "how many children do you have?" can be devastating
*Mothers and fathers mourn and cope differently
*Surviving siblings grieve and suffer as well
*There simply is no answer to the question "why?"
This sharing in itself is a catharsis and because each of these mothers lost her child at least seven years ago, she is in a unique position to provide perspective on what newly bereaved parents can expect to feel. The mothers of Beyond Tears offer reassurance that the clouds of grief do lessen with time and that grieving parents will find a way to live, and even laugh again.

Product Details

ISBN-13:	9780312545192
Publisher:	St. Martin's Press
Publication date:	03/03/2009
Series:	Revised
Edition description:	Second Edition, Revised
Pages:	208
Sales rank:	43,315
Product dimensions:	5.40(w) x 8.20(h) x 0.70(d)

About the Author

The book was written by Ellen Mitchell, who has a regular weekend column in Newsday, together with a group of nine mothers who each have lost a child: Carol Barkin, Audrey Cohen, Lorenza Colletti, Barbara Eisenberg, Barbara Goldstein, Madelaine Perri Kasden, Phyllis Levine, Ariella Long, and Rita Volpe.

Read an Excerpt

We are the closest of friends. We share the deepest intimacies of our lives. We wish we had never met.

In the weeks and months following the deaths of our children even as we were totally shrouded in grief, we somehow came to realize that if we were going to continue living…and some of us were not at all sure we wanted to continue living…we would need help.

Lorenza “When you lose a child you need someone who understands your pain, someone who has been there and knows you will never be the same.”

—from Beyond Tears

Table of Contents

Acknowledgments ix

Introduction 1

1 The Mourning After: The First Year 9

2 We Are Not Alone 28

3 Intimacy 44

4 Redefining Our Existence 63

5 How We Cope 87

6 Holidays, Birthdays, Anniversaries 105

7 Love, Laughter, and Gratitude 123

8 Until We Meet Again 136

9 The Fathers Speak 152

10 The Siblings Speak 173

Where We Are Now 185

Author's Note 187

Editorial Reviews

[An] eloquent volume… Bereaved parents will find comfort, sympathy and support in this powerful, honest sharing of one of life's most painful experiences.” —Publishers Weekly

“The thoughts and feelings related here are incredibly honest and courageous and would greatly assist any parent who has lost a child and feels alone. Highly recommended.” —Library Journal (starred review)

“[Beyond Tears] lets readers know that there are folks out there who have been in their shoes, felt their feelings and learned to live life again.” —The Plain Dealer (Cleveland)

From the Publisher

Having lost a child, nine mothers met in a support group; now, under the direction of Newsday contributor Mitchell, they share what has helped them get up every morning and move through their grief. They discuss how relationships can be strained, why there simply is no answer to the question "why?", and what they do when a longtime acquaintance crosses the street to avoid talking to them. A chapter devoted to fathers reveals how they grieve differently than mothers. The thoughts and feelings related here are incredibly honest and courageous and would greatly assist any parent who has lost a child and feels alone. Highly recommended for all libraries. Copyright 2005 Reed Business Information.

Library Journal