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Dinosaurs
By Arnaud Plumeri PAPERCUTZ
Copyright © 2014 Papercutz
All rights reserved.
ISBN: 978-1-62991-122-9
CHAPTER 1
COELOPHYSIS
THIS ANCIENT REPTILE, POSTOSUCHUS, IS ABOUT TO HAVE A MEETING THAT WILL CHANGE ITS LIFE ...
?
WHO'S COME ONTO MY TURF?
WHO ARE you, SQUIRT?
I'M A DINOSAUR! WHAT A QUESTION! I'M WARNING YOU: QUIT WHILE YOU'RE AHEAD!
YOU LITTLE PUNK! I'M GOING TO PULVERIZE YOU!
ON THE CONTRARY, I'M A COELOPHYSIS, AND YOU CAN'T BEAT MY SPEED!
GET LOST!
OKAY, FELLAS! I'VE TIRED HIM OUT!
YOU SEE, BIG GUY, WE DINOSAURS ARE BETTER PREPARED FOR THE COMING YEARS!
THIS IS HOW DINOSAURS BEGAN TO DOMINATE THE WORLD ... FOR 160 MILLION YEARS.
IT SEEMS AS THOUGH YOU'RE THE ONE WHO'S GOING TO GET LOST!
COELOPHYSIS
MEANING: HOLLOW FORM PERIOD: LATE TRIASSIC (228 TO 203 MILLION YEARS AGO) ORDER/ FAMILY: SAURISCHIA/ COELOPHYSIDAE SIZE: 8 FEET LONG WEIGHT: 65 POUNDS DIET: CARNIVORE FOUND: UNITED STATES
CHAPTER 2
MAMENCHISAURUS
DINNER'S READY!
SWEET! WHAT ARE WE HAVING, BOSS?
NECK!
WHAT? AGAIN?
WELL, YES! NECK, NECK, AND NECK!
RRAAA ... I CAN'T STANP IT ANY LONGER!
I'M FED UP! THAT MAKES TWO WEEKS NOW WHERE THAT'S ALL WE'VE EATEN!
EVEN FOR DESSERT!
WELL, YEAH, SMART ALECK! BUT I ALREADY TOLD YOU ...
NEVER ATTACK A MAMENCHISAURUS FOR FOOD!
IT'S THE DINOSAUR WITH THE LONGEST NECK IN THE WORLD!*
MAMENCHISAURUS
MEANING: MAMENCHI LIZARD (IN CHINA) PERIOD: LATE JURASSIC (161 TO 156 MILLION YEARS AGO) ORDER/ FAMILY: SAURISCHIA/ MAMENCHISAURIDAE SIZE: 80 FEET LONG WEIGHT: 45,000 POUNDS DIET: HERBIVORE FOUND: CHINA
CHAPTER 3
A QUESTION OF WEIGHT
HOW MUCH DO YOU WEIGH, TRICERATOPS?
UM, 16000 POUNDS. WHY?
OH, NO REASON.
AND YOU, HOW MUCH DO YOU WEIGH?
ME? 4 — 4,000 POUNPS, SIR.
I'M NOT GOING TO ASK YOU — YOU'RE TOO HEAVY!
HEY! SHOW SOME RESPECT!
YOU BIG JERK! NEVER ASK A LAPY ABOUT HER WEIGHT!
OOPS, SORRY!
HEY, STEGOCERAS! YOU MUST BE LIGHT, RIGHT?
PERFECT!
WHY, YES! I WEIGH 175 POUNPS! I WATCH MY WEIGHT!
WE THINK T. REX HAD TO EAT AN AVERAGE OF 175 TO 220 POUNDS OF MEAT A DAY!
SO WHY DIDN'T HE JUST PREY ON ONE BIG DINO AND EAT IT OVER SEVERAL DAYS?
BECAUSE HE'S AN IDIOT!
CHAPTER 4
OVIRAPTOR
I'M HERE TO DEFEND THE HONOR OF MY CLIENT, THE OVIRAPTOR!
NO, SHE'S NOT A CREEP JUST BECAUSE HER NAME MEANS "EGG THIEF"!
ON THE CONTRARY, THE EGGS YOU SEE HER WITH ARE HER OWN!
SHE'S A BRAVE PARENT WHO PROTECTS HER EGGS NO MATTER THE WEATHER ...
... AND DEFENDS THEM AT ALL COSTS!
OKAY! I DECLARE THE OVIRAPTOR INNOCENT. SHE'S ALL RIGHT!
YIPPEE!
YES! THIS CALLS FOR A PARTY!
AND YES, WHILE THE OVIRAPTOR WAY HAVE PROTECTED HER OWN EGGS ...
SLURP! DOES ANYONE WANT A LITTLE EGG TO CELEBRATE?
... SHE WOULDN'T TURN POWN SOMEONE ELSE'S!
OVIRAPTOR
MEANING: EGG THIEF PERIOD: LATE CRETACEOUS (85 TO 70 MILLION YEARS AGO) ORDER/ FAMILY: SAURISCHIA/ OVIRAPTORIDAE SIZE: 2.5 FEET LONG WEIGHT: 65 POUNPS DIET: OMNIVORE? FOUND: MONGOLIA
CHAPTER 5
FOSSIL HUNTER
THE LAST FOSSIL I FOUND? THAT WAS QUITE AN ADVENTURE!
I FLEW TO SOUTH AMERICA, BUT I CRASHED IN THE AMAZON RAIN FOREST ...
I WAS ABLE TO SUBDUE THE WILD BEASTS WITH MY WHIP!
ANP I GOT A STRANGE WELCOME FROM THE LOCAL POPULATION.
BUT WHEN I WAS HIDING IN A CAVE, I DISCOVERED A MAGNIFICENT DINOSAUR FOSSIL ...
WOW! T. REX IS A RUNT NEXT TO THIS!
THAT'S HOW I FOUND THE #1 MEGA-BEST DINO IN THE WORLD, WHICH I NAMED "BUFFDUDEOSAURUS"!
WHAT? YOU DON'T BELIEVE ME
OKAY, I WAS EXAGGERATING A LITTLE ...
ACTUALLY, THE LAST THING I FOUND WAS A FOSSILIZED PERIWINKLE IN MY GARDEN.
THE SHAME!
LIKE INDINO JONES, TAKE A GOOD LOOK AT THE STONES NEAR YOUR HOME: THERE ARE SURE TO BE SOME SMALL FOSSILS MIXED IN!
CHAPTER 6
STRONGER THAN T. REX
THE HADROSAURUS ARE IN A PANIC ...
THEIR WORST NIGHTMARE HAS ARRIVED MR. T. REX!
WHAT?! YOU'RE ALL THAT'S LEFT? A KIDS' MEAL?
GO GET ME A NICE FAT GROWNUP AND I'LL SPARE YOU, LITTLE GUY!
RIGHT AWAY, SIR!
BUT SUDDENLY, THE T. REX IS IN A PANIC ...
BECAUSE HIS WORST NIGTHMARE HAS COME TOO!
SO?!
MRS. T. REX!
WHAT ARE YOU WAITING FOR?! GET THE KIDS SOMETHING TO EAT!
RIGHT AWAY, HONEYBUNCH!
THE FEMALE T. REX WAS EVEN BIGGER THAN THE MALE!
CHAPTER 7
SOUTH AMERICAN GIANTS
WELCOME TO ARGENTINA, LAND OF THE GIANT DINOSAURS!
HEEEEYYY! HEEYYY!
AMONG THESE IS ARGENTINOSAURUS, THE HEAVIEST DINOSAUR KNOWN.
DON'T BE STUCK UP! GO OUT WITH ME!
STOP BUGGING ME! GET OFF MY BACK!
A SAUROPOP ESTIMATED AT 115 FEET LONG AND 175,000 POUNDS — THAT'S THE WEIGHT OF 13 ELEPHANTS!
IT'S ALSO THE LAND OF GIGANOTOSAURUS, A GIANT PREDATOR!
YUM YUM!
THAT'S HOW ARGENTINA BECAME THE LAND OF SUPER-SIZED MEALS!
... AND ALSO SUPER-SIZED MIGRAINES!
NOW WILL YOU GO OUT WITH ME?
ARGENTINOSAURUS
MEANING: ARGENTINE LIZARD PERIOD: LATE CRETACEOUS (97 TO 93 MILLION YEARS AGO) ORDER/ FAMILY: SAURISCHIA/ TITANOSAURIDAE SIZE: 115 FEET LONG WEIGHT: 175,000 POUNDS DIET: HERBIVORE FOUND: ARGENTINA
CHAPTER 8
THEY KNEW DINOSAURUS
THEY'RE ALL AROUND US, AND YET THEY ALREADY EXISTED AT THE TIME OF THE DINOSAURS ...
CROCODILES, LIZARDS, TORTOISES — THESE REPTILES LIVEP DURING THE SAME TIME AS THE DINOS!
I'D BETTER ENJOY IT WHILE IT LASTS! YUM!
ARTHROPOPS, SUCH AS SCORPIONS AND SPIPERS, TOO ...
YOU CALL THAT A TAIL, LOSER?!
AS FOR INSECTS, THEY EXISTED LONG BEFORE THE DINOS!
HERE'S THE PLAN ...
... you suck THE BLOOD OF THE DINO, THEN WE'LL SELL THE DNA TO SPIELBERG AND BECOME BILLIONAIRES!
YOU COULD ALSO FIND BIRDS (WHICH ARE ACTUALLY LINKED TO DINOSAURS).
BUGSY!
ARGH!
AND DON'T FORGET MAMMALS — WHICH WERE NO BIGGER THAN THE SIZE OF A DOG.
DO YOU VALUE YOUR LIFE?
ON THE OTHER HAND, EVEN IF HE LOOKS LIKE A PACHYCEPHALOSAURUS ...
... YOUR GRANDFATHER NEVER MET ANY DINOS!
STOP LAUGHING ALREADY! I'M NOT AN OLD DINOSAUR!
(Continues...)
Excerpted from Dinosaurs by Arnaud Plumeri. Copyright © 2014 Papercutz. Excerpted by permission of PAPERCUTZ.
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