Empowered Happiness: Discovering Bliss beyond Depression

by Carolyn King

Overview

Carolyn King’s life was turned upside down when her daughter was born, and she struggled to sleep. The stress got worse with the arrival of her son.

She thought things would get better after her husband found a job that didn’t require him to travel, but the path to happiness was elusive. When she took several sleeping pills and collapsed into a pit of despair, she knew she needed to change her life.

That is how she discovered energetic kinesiology—the science of energy balancing. Grounded in the study of anatomy and physiology, it combines muscle monitoring with principles from traditional Chinese medicine to improve health, well-being, and vitality.

She shares how this practice helped her overcome suicidal thoughts and start living a life filled with happiness—and how you can do the same by doing the exercises and applying the tips and techniques she describes.

Whether you’re seeking to support a loved one battling depression or struggling to escape your own darkness, you’ll move closer to the light with the lessons in Empowered Happiness.

Product Details

ISBN-13:	9781452530901
Publisher:	Balboa Press AU
Publication date:	09/17/2015
Sold by:	Barnes & Noble
Format:	eBook
Pages:	120
File size:	548 KB

Read an Excerpt

Empowered Happiness

Discovering Bliss Beyond Depression

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By Carolyn King

Balboa Press

Copyright © 2015 Carolyn King
All rights reserved.
ISBN: 978-1-4525-3089-5

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CHAPTER 1

Journey to Joy — My Story

Sometimes you have to get knocked down lower than you have ever been to stand back up taller then you ever were.

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These were my thoughts that I wrote down when I was at rock bottom. Reading this back, I can't believe just how low I felt. It's like reading the thoughts of another person. I feel so different now, so free. And this was only two years ago.

Saturday, 15 December 2012

I was so angry, so tired. All I wanted was sleep. My husband, Lloyd, went out to get things for his mum's birthday party (her sixtieth), and the kids let our dog into the house. Pitter- patter of feet is what woke me. I got up and let the dog out.

Still tired, I went back to bed. Lloyd came home. I was angry. He left to set up the hall.

The phone rang, but I didn't answer it.

Finally I got out of bed and checked my mobile phone message from Stacey saying Dad had asked her for a present to be bought for Mum. I got angry. I'm his daughter!I rang Mum upset, called Lloyd angry, called Dad and had a go at him, and called Stacey to let her know how I felt.

After a coffee, I went back to bed — still angry and so tired. Lloyd came home. I yelled, saying I needed sleep.

It escalated, and I took six sleeping tablets.

I didn't think they would do much, because one never worked. I told Lloyd I was taking them — even showed him. He didn't seem to care, so I sent Mum a text: "Took six sleeping tablets and Lloyd doesn't care."

I went back to bed and waited. I didn't want to die. I just wanted to sleep and maybe go to the hospital — I needed a break. I wanted to get away. I had just worked two days from 6:30 a.m. to 3 p.m.

No ambulance, but Mum came. She was angry.

She left.

Stacey came. She was angry. I asked her not to yell at me. I just wanted to sleep.

She left.

I didn't hear Lloyd check up on me at all.

At some point I felt a tugging in my head like my astral body was trying to get out. But it couldn't.

I just wanted sleep.

I also just wanted a hug. Nobody gave me one.

All I wanted, all I needed was a hug.

Four days later ...

Still tired.

No calls or SMSs from Stacey to see if I'm OK.

I'm just hanging on.

Still angry.

Still tired.

Too much work. It's killing — no, draining me.

Did a kinesiology balance last night and today. Always feel good, actually great doing that. God, I need to change jobs. God, I need help.

Help! Help! Help!

Need vitamins.

Need flower essences.

Need meditation.

Need to relax.

I feel so alone. Not part of the family. I had to forgive the horrible things a family member said to me because the family said so. No matter what I felt. Just need to keep the peace.

I am so alone.

These were my darkest days, my rock bottom. When I finally collapsed into this dark pit of despair by trying to harm myself, I knew I needed to change my life, my way of thinking, in fact my whole way of being. I needed help and knew I wasn't the only person in the world who suffered from these feelings of loneliness, anger, and sadness. But at that time in my life those feelings were all-consuming. It was all I seemed to be able to feel and think about. The thoughts in my head wouldn't go away, and the way I viewed the world at that time was real for me. I realised, after pleading for help from anyone who would listen, that I was the only one who could change the way I felt. I needed to take back my power, take back control, and eliminate all the ceaseless negative thoughts that had taken up residence in my mind. I asked the universe for help and finally acted on what I heard. And so my journey to empowered happiness began.

My first step was to look at my life up to that point. Looking back I can see that I was always prone to depression. I have always been an emotional person, worn my heart on my sleeve, and consistently let people hurt me. I never felt like I fit in. I didn't like school, not because of the learning but because of its social aspect. I always felt different. I was a deep thinker and overanalysed every action of others.

Why didn't she say hi to me?

Did I do something wrong?

She doesn't like me. How can I make her like me? I feel left out.

I'm too fat to be friends with them.

What can I do to fit in?

So in hindsight, I guess my battle with depression was no surprise. My feelings of unworthiness were always there, and the feelings of not fitting in never left me.

In 2005, when my daughter was born, I could feel myself getting down. The lack of sleep was a big issue for me. I still remember my mother saying, "We're putting Aaliyah on formula. You need to get some sleep." This was after a sleepless night of trying to breastfeed my four-month-old but falling asleep because I couldn't satisfy her. I just thought to myself: better a well-fed and bottle-fed daughter then a daughter fed breast milk from a stressed-out mum. Surely my negative energy would go through the milk to her. After that, she thrived and I slept. At the time, my husband and I were living with my parents, so I always had someone around to help me out. I was hardly ever alone.

Mum was of course the ever-doting nana, and Dad loved being a grandfather. We also lived next door to my grandparents, and my grandfather developed a special bond with my daughter. He taught her at an early age to say "How do you do?" complete with a Slovenian accent. It was cute.

By the time my son was born nineteen months later, we were living in our newly built house. My husband travelled frequently for his job, and I went back to work within a month after the baby was born. So I had a toddler and baby to manage in addition to my own job. Because my husband travelled, I was suddenly often left alone, with no mum at my beck and call to alleviate the pressures or allow me to sleep.

One night, while my husband was traveling, I crashed. It was about ten thirty at night, and both my kids were screaming. There was nothing seriously wrong; they were just crying but obviously had picked up on my anxiety. I rang my husband, but what could he do? He was in another state. I rang my mum, and she rushed straight over and took us all to her house. I slept most of the following day while she looked after the kids.

From then on I had a battle on my hands. I would have good days and bad days. My husband found another job with no travel, and I tried to find a solution. My husband and mum finally booked me to see my doctor so I could be diagnosed officially with depression. (Mum was a nurse and knew the signs well.) On the day of the appointment, I went for a reiki session and felt so wonderful afterwards I cancelled my doctor's appointment.

That feeling lasted for only a short time, and I continued on the see-saw of happy, not happy, happy, not happy.

The days went on, the weeks went on, the months went on, and then the years went on. Nobody knew how bad I felt. They just thought I was emotional. I was an office manager in a job I didn't hate. It gave me some sense of control to manage an office, and it also took my mind off things. Looking back, the job probably saved my life, as it gave me a break from myself. I could be someone else at work, and there was no time there to think about my feelings.

My family life was OK, but I was creating all sorts of dramas with my extended family — my brothers, my sister-in-law, and my uncle. All I wanted was to just feel like they loved me, cared for me. I felt left out, alone, and invalidated by all of them.

By the time I took the tablets, I knew that I needed to actually do something. I had talked about going back to my spiritual councillor that I had seen many years before, and I finally made an appointment with her. I saw her twice, a couple of weeks apart, and decided then and there to attend weekly group counselling and meditation classes with her. This was my turning point, and it was then that I started to climb out of my depressed state.

Over the next year I felt myself withdraw from everyone, and I came to see those around me in a new light. I began to analyse why I felt the way I did and what factors kept me where I was in my thinking patterns. The drama I always created around myself was a distraction so that I didn't have to move forward with my life, my destiny. We are so creative and powerful that if we are afraid of moving forward, then we will create all the distractions we need. This was my distraction.

I had always wanted to have a natural health business. I had always wanted to write, to be a public speaker, and to help people. But how could I with all the drama around me? And what could I write about when my life seemed perfect from the outside? What could I offer people, and how could I help them? I was so consumed with the drama that I was in no state to move forward. The meditation classes along with all the kinesiology sessions helped me decipher my pattern of thinking and clear it up for good. By distancing myself from others, I had time to reflect on myself. At times I felt alone, like I didn't have any friends, but it was OK. I learned to focus on what did make me happy. Initially what made me happy was my kids. My kids became my focus. I didn't want them to go through what I went through. I wanted to show them the strength that comes from following your inner guidance and seeing the good in all people.

I learned how to feel and to be love, then to radiate this to people I met, whether they were family, school mums, or the shop assistants. I didn't feel this way every day, but it was a start, and eventually it became a habit. I can now tune in and see how I am feeling and turn up the dial on love. I learned that this was the most important lesson: love for self and love for others. If you are truly to overcome all the negative thoughts, you need to start working on loving yourself first. It may take some time, but I promise you it's worth it.

CHAPTER 2

Testing for Happiness — Kinesiology

Find what you think works, and stick with it.

* * *

I didn't want to die, just sleep. I was so tired — not just from the usual lack of sleep (which was also a problem) but also tired of life. I love my family, my kids, but I needed to make a change — a career change — to kinesiology. I had to learn my craft, to invest my time into really getting it. I had my diploma. Next I needed to know it!

So kinesiology — what is it? How did I come across it? How did it help me?

Energetic kinesiology, which is what I practice, is defined as the science of energy balancing and is grounded in the study of anatomy and physiology. It uses muscle monitoring, with the principles of traditional Chinese medicine to assess energy and body functions, applying a range of gentle yet powerful techniques to improve health, well-being, and vitality. Fundamentally, kinesiologists believe that the body has innate healing energy and is doing its best to care for itself, but sometimes it needs assistance in finding this balance.

Kinesiologists think in terms of a triadof health. We look at all aspects of your health, including chemical and nutritional, structural and exercise, mental, emotional, and spiritual elements. I monitor for changes in the way you hold your muscles to ascertain whether there are any stresses in your diet or your muscles, or your emotional, mental, or spiritual state. Then I look at how to balance your body so these stresses are no longer present. Treatment can include but is not limited to pressure points, dietary changes, exercise, postural changes, running the meridian, and flower essences. Stress usually comes with an emotional component because we tend to hold our emotional responses in our muscles. Most sessions therefore have a strong counselling component.

Because kinesiologists look at the body as a whole, we can help with a variety of issues, including but not limited to

• relieving most types of pain such as headaches, back pain, muscle pain, repetitive strain injury, and frozen shoulder;

• resolving pelvic floor problems;

• boosting sports performance and motivation;

• managing weight and detoxification;

• depression and anxiety;

• stress and adrenal fatigue;

• fatigue and lethargy;

• learning difficulties;

• learning enhancement;

• overcoming addictive and behavioural problems;

• improving confidence and self-esteem;

• overcoming phobias and fatigue;

• identifying nutritional deficiency or excess; and

• achieving goals.

What I find to be great about kinesiology is that it can be used in conjunction with more mainstream healing modalities, as there are no contraindications. In fact, if you do decide to go down the Western medical path, kinesiology will just help move things faster.

I don't remember my first experience with kinesiology. All I remember is that I had gone to see a kinesiologist for my headaches and that it did help. (Years later this same kinesiologist would become my teacher.)

A few years later I was struggling to become pregnant. Two of my sisters-in-law, both younger and married for less time, fell pregnant quickly and easily. My husband and I realised we needed to seek help, as it just wasn't happening for us. After multiple blood tests and scans, mainstream medical doctors couldn't tell me what was wrong. There were no medical reasons why I wasn't falling pregnant, but due to my age (I was only thirty) and because we had been trying to conceive for many years, conventional medicine put me on the path of hormone injections at an in vitro fertilization (IVF) clinic.

During this time I was also trying many natural healing methods. I had seen a Chinese herbalist and drank the worsttasting tea ever, which would cause the whole house to smell bad. I had gone to a naturopath and changed my diet to the blood type diet. I had gone to a Reiki and Bowen therapist but nothing had changed. My hairdresser at the time suggested I try kinesiology. I had no idea what it was about, but I thought I would give it a go. During the first session he asked me to say "I fall pregnant easily" while he pushed down on my arm muscles. When my arms would give way, he would touch a few points (which seemed random to me at the time) and ask me to repeat the statement. Suddenly my arms stayed strong. I would later find out this was called muscle monitoringand that he was checking for stresses in my body when I made the statement.

After three sessions, all about one month apart, I started my hormone treatment at the IVF clinic. For the next month I injected hormones into my stomach at the same time every night. The night before the insemination I needed an extra injection to make my eggs drop. The whole process was quite fascinating to me, and there was probably part of me that needed to understand the logic of how I was to fall pregnant.

The following day my husband did his bit in the cup, and while he was getting ready I spoke to the little sperms and told them exactly what they needed to do: go in there and find the egg! I have found that speaking to your body can quite often make things happen.

Holy Thursday, which is the Thursday before Easter Sunday, I remember calling the clinic to see if I was pregnant. When I rang they didn't yet have the results and said they would call back. Waiting for the phone to ring was probably the longest couple of hours of my life. The phone finally rang around one in the afternoon, and my heart starting beating hard. I had my husband on one side of the couch and my mother behind me trying to hide her emotions as she cleaned.

I was wonderfully excited when I found out: yes, we had conceived! We all celebrated with a huge group hug. Of course, I couldn't keep this secret and wait until twelve weeks to tell everyone. They all found out pretty much straight away.

On the following Tuesday, we had to go to the clinic for another check-up to make sure that everything was OK. I still remember just how surprised the staff at the clinic were that it happened the first time around. For most couples it took more than a month to conceive successfully.

Understanding now what kinesiology is and how it works, I know the three sessions of kinesiology definitely helped me fall pregnant the first time. I had a stress around falling pregnant, and the sessions I had cleared out the imbalance so it could happen. Looking back now I often wonder if we would have conceived without the hormone treatments, as our son was conceived easily and naturally after only two months of trying a few years later.

Fast forward five years to January 2010, and my daughter was starting kindergarten in February. I had always wanted to study natural health and ironically had always been interested in aromatherapy. I still love my essential oils and use them daily, but the universe had other plans for me at this point in my life.

(Continues...)

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Excerpted from Empowered Happiness by Carolyn King. Copyright © 2015 Carolyn King. Excerpted by permission of Balboa Press.
All rights reserved. No part of this excerpt may be reproduced or reprinted without permission in writing from the publisher.
Excerpts are provided by Dial-A-Book Inc. solely for the personal use of visitors to this web site.

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Table of Contents

Contents

Preface, ix,
Introduction, xi,
Chapter 1 Journey to Joy — My Story, 1,
Chapter 2 Testing for Happiness — Kinesiology, 11,
Chapter 3 Inspired Wishes — Spiritual, In Spirit, 19,
Chapter 4 Blissful Views — Perception, 27,
Chapter 5 Meaningful Enjoyment, 37,
Chapter 6 Delightful Relationships, 45,
Chapter 7 Creating Ecstasy — Self Care, 53,
Chapter 8 Repeat to Reap — Creating Routine, Setting Intentions, Affirmations, 63,
Chapter 9 Divine Purpose — Discovering Your Purpose, 73,
Chapter 10 Happy Voice — Speak Out, 81,
Chapter 11 Permanent Harmony — Staying Happy, 89,
Chapter 12 Achieving Mastery, 95,
Conclusion, 103,
About the Author, 105,
Afterthought, 107,