Finding Zoe: A Deaf Woman's Story of Identity, Love, and Adoption

by Brandi Rarus, Gail Harris, Marlee Matlin (Foreword by)

Overview

At just a few months old, Zoe was gradually losing her hearing. Her adoptive parents loved her—yet agonized—feeling they couldn’t handle raising a Deaf child. Would Zoe go back into the welfare system and spend her childhood hoping to find parents willing to adopt her? Or, would she be the long-sought answer to a mother’s prayers?

Brandi Rarus was just 6 when spinal meningitis took away her hearing. Because she spoke well and easily adjusted to lip reading, she was mainstreamed in school and socialized primarily in the hearing community. Brandi was a popular, happy teen, but being fully part of every conversation was an ongoing struggle. She felt caught between two worlds—the Deaf and the hearing.

In college, Brandi embraced Deaf Culture along with the joys of complete and effortless communication with her peers. Brandi went on to become Miss Deaf America in 1988 and served as a spokesperson for her community. It was during her tenure as Miss Deaf America that Brandi met Tim, a leader of the Gallaudet Uprising in support of selecting the university’s first Deaf president. The two went on to marry and had three hearing boys—the first non-deaf children born in Tim’s family in 125 years.

Brandi was incredibly grateful to have her three wonderful sons, but couldn’t shake the feeling something was missing. She didn’t know that Zoe, a six-month-old Deaf baby girl caught in the foster care system, was desperately in need of a family unafraid of her different needs. Brandi found the answer to her prayers when fate brought her new adopted daughter into her life.

Set against the backdrop of Deaf America, Finding Zoe is an uplifting story of hope, adoption, and everyday miracles.

Product Details

ISBN-13:	9781940363226
Publisher:	BenBella Books, Inc.
Publication date:	10/07/2014
Pages:	320
Product dimensions:	5.80(w) x 8.30(h) x 1.10(d)

About the Author

Deaf since age six after contracting spinal meningitis, Brandi Rarus could speak and read lips, but felt caught between the deaf and hearing world--fitting into neither. When she realized you don’t need to hear to live a fulfilled life, she became empowered and was chosen as Miss Deaf America. From signing the National Anthem at a Chicago Cubs game to speaking at corporate conferences, Brandi traveled the country speaking out for deaf children and building awareness of what it means to be Deaf.

She married Tim Rarus, an advocate for Deaf people whose work inspired the landmark Americans with Disabilities Act. Together, they have paved the way to bring new technologies that promote equal access in communication. Brandi and Tim live in Austin, Texas, with their four children: three hearing boys and the youngest, Zoe, a Deaf girl they adopted. Today, Brandi and her family are tirelessly dedicated to ensuring all children find their rightful place in our world.

Award-winning writer and teacher of the intuitive process, Gail Harris has experienced the joy of adopting a child. She brings her knowledge of the adoption process and in-vitro fertilization to this book, along with her ability to articulate from a hearing person’s perspective what is fascinating about the Deaf experience. In the four years that it took to write Finding Zoe, Gail conducted more than 75 interviews to uncover. Gail is the author of Your Heart Knows the Answer and a featured blogger on several popular parenting blogs. She lives with her husband and son in Framingham, MA.

Table of Contents

Foreword xiii

Preface xvii

Part I My Winding Road

Prologue 3

Chapter 1 Suddenly Soundless 5

Chapter 2 Changed by a Deaf Priest 26

Chapter 3 Deaf President Now 43

Chapter 4 Full Circle 69

Chapter 5 Our Family Hears 94

Part II The Roads of Others

Chapter 6 Jess and BJ 111

Chapter 7 Love's Sacrifice 137

Chapter 8 The Right Thing to Do 175

Part III The Roads Converge

Chapter 9 Providence Provides 195

Chapter 10 Waiting All Our Lives 213

Epilogue 233

Acknowledgments 255

About the Authors 263

Resources 265

Editorial Reviews

“Finding Zoe is a heartwarming story about identity, self-acceptance, and love . . . Attending RIT/NTID after growing up as Brandi and I did, in hearing families and mainstream schools, is truly life-altering. Brandi beautifully captures the joy of finally fitting in, feeling at home and finding yourself.”
—Dr. Gerard J. Buckley, President of National Technical Institute for the Deaf

"The journey in Finding Zoe is captivating and inspirational, and above all, a story about doing what is right for our children, as well as ourselves, no matter how difficult…and then seeing all of the pieces fall miraculously into place. Finding Zoe is a joy to watch unfold.”
—Jill Smokler, New York Times bestselling author of Confessions of a Scary Mommy and Motherhood Comes Naturally (And Other Vicious Lies)

“A must-read for any adoptive parent, or anyone considering adoption. Brandi Rarus’s story of Finding Zoe is an amazing reminder that the power of love overcomes life’s most challenging obstacles and nothing can stand in the way of what’s meant to be.”
—Mary Donahue, Senior Vice President of Non-Fiction at Lifetime Television Network and adoptive parent

“Just as my character on Switched at Birth has helped to expose the Deaf community for what it really is to our mainstream TV audience, so too does Finding Zoe break down the barriers between the hearing and Deaf communities by showing Deaf Culture in ways never seen before . . . Bravo to Finding Zoe.”
—Sean Berdy, actor on the ABC TV hit series Switched at Birth and Peabody Award Recipient

“Finding Zoe shines an unbiased light on teen pregnancy, adoption, and the sacrifice parents make to find the best home for their children. A must-read for teenagers and their parents, or for anyone else who may be contemplating their choices for an unintended pregnancy.”
—Jan and Bob Charnecki, founders of Options Pregnancy Center

“A work of both heart and mind, driven by the authors’ passions to describe our rich history as deaf people, that paved the way for deaf children like Zoe...a book that both deaf and hearing people have longed for.”
—Greg Hlibok, student leader of the Deaf President Now protest at Gallaudet University

“This isn’t just a book for people interested in adoption; it’s an inspiring story that will touch the heart of anyone with a connection to children and families—which is to say, almost everyone.”
—Adam Pertman, Executive Director of Donaldson Adoption Institute and author of Adoption Nation

“This really hits home… The story of a deaf baby who finds her way to a deaf family…and embraces her culture and language. A great introduction to the Deaf community.”
—Chris Wagner, President of National Association of the Deaf

From the Publisher