The Five Ways We Grieve: Finding Your Personal Path to Healing after the Loss of a Loved One

In this new approach to understanding the impact of grief, Susan A. Berger goes beyond the commonly held theories of stages of grief with a new typology for self-awareness and personal growth. She offers practical advice for healing from a major loss in this presentation of five basic ways, or types, of grieving. These five types describe how different people respond to a major loss. The types are:

   •  Nomads, who have not yet resolved their grief and don’t often understand how their loss has affected their lives
   •  Memorialists, who are committed to preserving the memory of their loved ones by creating concrete memorials and rituals to honor them
   •  Normalizers, who are committed to re-creating a sense of family and community
   •  Activists, who focus on helping other people who are dealing with the same disease or issues that caused their loved one’s death
   •  Seekers, who adopt religious, philosophical, or spiritual beliefs to create meaning in their lives

Drawing on research results and anecdotes from working with the bereaved over the past ten years, Berger examines how a person’s worldview is affected after a major loss. According to her findings, people experience significant changes in their sense of mortality, their values and priorities, their perception of and orientation toward time, and the manner in which they “fit” in society. The five types of grieving, she finds, reflect the choices people make in their efforts to adapt to dramatic life changes.

By identifying with one of the types, readers who have suffered a recent loss—or whose lives have been shaped by an early loss—find ways of understanding the impact of the loss and of living more fully.

1102004639
The Five Ways We Grieve: Finding Your Personal Path to Healing after the Loss of a Loved One

In this new approach to understanding the impact of grief, Susan A. Berger goes beyond the commonly held theories of stages of grief with a new typology for self-awareness and personal growth. She offers practical advice for healing from a major loss in this presentation of five basic ways, or types, of grieving. These five types describe how different people respond to a major loss. The types are:

   •  Nomads, who have not yet resolved their grief and don’t often understand how their loss has affected their lives
   •  Memorialists, who are committed to preserving the memory of their loved ones by creating concrete memorials and rituals to honor them
   •  Normalizers, who are committed to re-creating a sense of family and community
   •  Activists, who focus on helping other people who are dealing with the same disease or issues that caused their loved one’s death
   •  Seekers, who adopt religious, philosophical, or spiritual beliefs to create meaning in their lives

Drawing on research results and anecdotes from working with the bereaved over the past ten years, Berger examines how a person’s worldview is affected after a major loss. According to her findings, people experience significant changes in their sense of mortality, their values and priorities, their perception of and orientation toward time, and the manner in which they “fit” in society. The five types of grieving, she finds, reflect the choices people make in their efforts to adapt to dramatic life changes.

By identifying with one of the types, readers who have suffered a recent loss—or whose lives have been shaped by an early loss—find ways of understanding the impact of the loss and of living more fully.

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The Five Ways We Grieve: Finding Your Personal Path to Healing after the Loss of a Loved One

The Five Ways We Grieve: Finding Your Personal Path to Healing after the Loss of a Loved One

by Susan A. Berger
The Five Ways We Grieve: Finding Your Personal Path to Healing after the Loss of a Loved One

The Five Ways We Grieve: Finding Your Personal Path to Healing after the Loss of a Loved One

by Susan A. Berger

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Overview

In this new approach to understanding the impact of grief, Susan A. Berger goes beyond the commonly held theories of stages of grief with a new typology for self-awareness and personal growth. She offers practical advice for healing from a major loss in this presentation of five basic ways, or types, of grieving. These five types describe how different people respond to a major loss. The types are:

   •  Nomads, who have not yet resolved their grief and don’t often understand how their loss has affected their lives
   •  Memorialists, who are committed to preserving the memory of their loved ones by creating concrete memorials and rituals to honor them
   •  Normalizers, who are committed to re-creating a sense of family and community
   •  Activists, who focus on helping other people who are dealing with the same disease or issues that caused their loved one’s death
   •  Seekers, who adopt religious, philosophical, or spiritual beliefs to create meaning in their lives

Drawing on research results and anecdotes from working with the bereaved over the past ten years, Berger examines how a person’s worldview is affected after a major loss. According to her findings, people experience significant changes in their sense of mortality, their values and priorities, their perception of and orientation toward time, and the manner in which they “fit” in society. The five types of grieving, she finds, reflect the choices people make in their efforts to adapt to dramatic life changes.

By identifying with one of the types, readers who have suffered a recent loss—or whose lives have been shaped by an early loss—find ways of understanding the impact of the loss and of living more fully.


Product Details

ISBN-13: 9781590308998
Publisher: Shambhala Publications, Inc.
Publication date: 03/08/2011
Pages: 256
Sales rank: 432,040
Product dimensions: 5.40(w) x 8.30(h) x 0.80(d)

About the Author

Susan A. Berger, EdD, LICSW, counsels people who are confronting significant loss and other life changes. She also trains professionals in using her unique approach to helping the bereaved. She has twenty-five years’ experience in the health and mental health fields as a researcher, practitioner, administrator, and consultant in both Massachusetts and Washington, D.C.

She lectures widely in professional healthcare, business, government, and university settings. She has held faculty appointments at three colleges, teaching courses in human behavior and psychology. She has also served as a hospice volunteer. Dr. Berger is herself a survivor of early parental loss.

Table of Contents

Acknowledgments ix

Preface xiii

Introduction xvii

1 Loss Changes You Forever 1

2 The Nomad 25

3 The Memorialist 56

4 The Normalizer 83

5 The Activist 112

6 The Seeker 135

7 Transforming Your Grief: Finding Your Personal Path to Healing 161

8 Hope for the Future 172

Conclusion: Support for Your Healing 183

Appendix 1 About the Interviews 187

Appendix 2 Resources for Self-Help 191

Notes 201

Bibliography 211

Index 213

About the Author 213

What People are Saying About This

From the Publisher

“Author Susan A. Berger offers a fascinating new view of what happens to people who lose loved ones.  The Five Ways We Grieve helps us to discover who we have become in order to give our lives meaning and purpose.”—Patriot Ledger

“This compelling volume is a treasure trove of penetrating insights. Dr. Berger will bring needed solace to many grieving hearts.”—Rabbi Earl A. Grollman, DHL, DD, author of Living When a Loved One Has Died

“Offers a fresh new approach to understanding and coping with the major losses every human being experiences.  Dr. Susan A. Berger gives bereaved people a useful tool for interpreting their responses to a loss and creating a new normal for their lives.”—Bob Deits, author of Life after Loss

“A treasure trove of penetrating insights. Dr. Susan A. Berger’s lucid and thoughtfully researched writing contains personal experiences, clinical examples, and penetrating questions to ponder. Although she takes us deeply into the realm of human torment, the essential message is one of hope as she assists us in transforming tragedy into growth. Dr. Berger will bring needed solace to many grieving hearts.”—Rabbi Earl A. Grollman, DHL, DD, author of Living When a Loved One Has Died

“This book offers hope with a plan—in the form of new ways to recognize, define, and focus on our changed identity and worldview after loss. As a child therapist specializing in illness and loss, I found this book immediately helpful.”—Sallie A. Sanborn, MS, child therapist and contributor to The Goldfish Went on Vacation

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