Flip-Flops After 50: And Other Thoughts on Aging I Remembered to Write Down

by Cindy Eastman

Overview

Flip-flops After 50 will amuse, enlighten, and provoke readers to think about the topics that affect all of us. Who hasn’t dealt with the emotions from family events, stress from lousy jobs, or the bittersweet feelings when the kids leave home? Not to mention body image, high school reunions, and parenting. Eastman’s conversational style and easy humor tackle the sublime and the ridiculous, the sacred and the profane. After a certain age—and it’s no secret that it’s 50—Eastman argues that attitudes change for the better. Making decisions gets easier, although there’s no guarantee that life does. Even so, her writing allows us to take a look at our own issues with the reassuring handholding of a confidante.

Product Details

ISBN-13:	9781938314681
Publisher:	She Writes Press
Publication date:	04/08/2014
Pages:	200
Sales rank:	125,626
Product dimensions:	5.40(w) x 8.30(h) x 0.60(d)

About the Author

Cindy Eastman’s work is informed by her ability to be an observer as well as a participant in her life.  With her dry sense of humor, she is able to address a variety of topical subjects and deliver an insightful analysis that’s both provocative and amusing. Currently she coordinates a supervised visitation service with her husband in his counseling practice and facilitates diversity and anti-bullying trainings for the Anti-Defamation League. She also teaches a writing course for the Osher Lifelong Learning Institute at the Waterbury campus of UConn. Eastman makes her home in Connecticut with her husband, Angelo, and their cat. She is working on a second book when not babysitting her grandson.

Read an Excerpt

The Year of Living 50-ishly
 
In 2008, I joined such illustrious company as Holly Hunter, Alec Baldwin, Michelle Pfeiffer, LEGO, AARP, Alpha-Bits, the Rolodex, and Jif peanut butter. How? We all turned 50.
            Turning 50 is no big deal, if you’re, say, the Interstate Highway System, which turned 50 in 2006. In fact, you should be 50 if you’re the Interstate Highway System—it gives you a certain air of respectability and responsibility. But when you’re a woman who still feels like she’s, oh, in her late thirties, it can be a little more frightening. Not scary frightening (as in not one but two terms of George Bush), just slightly frightening (as in where the hell is the how-to guide for turning 50?).
            For me, approaching 50 was just plain mind-boggling. In the preceding months as I wrote journal entries and notes to myself regarding my upcoming birthday (“For my 50th birthday,” or “Can I find a new job at 50?”), I would stop and look at what I’d written, and it felt as if I was lying about my age, but in the reverse. How could I possibly be this old?
AARP knew I was turning 50 practically before I did. They started the campaign to get me into their little cult about six months earlier, sending me an application for membership and a subscription to their magazine. I guess they wanted to be sure I remembered to join. So I did. Why not? Who doesn’t want to be a member of an organization whose cover girl is Caroline Kennedy? Or whose cover boy is Kevin Costner? I’m game—count me in.
            It’s not that I wasn’t ready to be 50, but not for any other reason than that it just didn’t seem right. I don’t mind aging. I don’t look or feel old. One of my vain little secrets is that I absolutely love it when I tell people how old my oldest child is and they say, “What?! You don’t look like you have a child that old!” or when the guy at the Starbucks says, “She’s your mom? I thought you were sisters!” when I stop in for coffee with Annie. (I’m sure Annie loves that one as much as I do.)
            For the most part, I was okay with the whole thing. But there are intrinsic elements to turning 50 that have to be addressed. It is certainly a time for reflection and stock-taking. Reflection is okay: I feel lucky that I am in good health, that I’m living my life in a way I can be proud of, and that I have raised amazing children. I am married to a good man who also raised a wonderful daughter, and who lives his life in a mindful and generous way. My parents are healthy, and so are my brother and sister, and we all enjoy a fairly sane and loving familial relationship. My friends are few, but they’re steadfast and fun, and I can call any one of them in a pinch. (Like if I’m freaking out about turning 50. Which I’m not.) And there’s the above-mentioned looking good for my age—which doesn’t hurt. Sure, I could stand to lose a few pounds, but who couldn’t?
            It’s the other thing, the stock-taking part, that I’m having the teeniest bit of trouble with. The part where I look back on my life and check and see if I’ve gotten most of the things done that I’ve always wanted to do. The answer is no. And when you’re 50 and the answer is no, a new timeframe is suddenly in place. I only have so many years left to travel to Greece, Italy, and Australia, or to drive an RV across the United States. I only have so much time to live in New York City or start my own business. But the biggest thing—the thing I imposed my own time limit on, was becoming a Writer and Getting Published. I set a deadline of age 50 to get published and, I didn’t meet my goal. But don’t fret. I’m not leaving things at a potentially depressing point. If life is all about the journey rather than the destination, then at this point I’m just getting more information about the remaining trip. Turning 50 is like stopping at a travel center to check the map and maybe get a cup of coffee. Maybe even some presents.
            While we’re on the topic, I think you should be able to register for gifts at Bed Bath & Beyond or Target or Best Buy for your 50th birthday. Registering for gifts is the most decadent, self indulgent, brilliant idea ever devised—so why it is limited to the newly engaged? It’s beyond me why all those little scanner guns are reserved for brides- and grooms-to-be when the real buying power is with the Baby Boomers. Seriously, think about it. Registering for gifts for a 50th birthday party is the best idea since Diet Rite Cola (the first diet soda, also 50).
You’re welcome, fellow Boomers.

Table of Contents

Introduction 1

Fifty

The Year of Living Fifty-ishly 5

The Big Day 9

The C-Word 13

My Education 17

Pets as Children 21

Best-Laid Plans 23

Gotta/Wanna 27

Family

ENS (Empty-Nest Syndrome) 31

When Chickens Come Home 35

Open Heart 39

Found Time 45

Wedding-Belle Bliss 49

The Long and Winding Road 53

Grandmother, Grandma, Granny 57

Why Do Today What I Can Put Off Until Next Year? 61

Holidays

New Year's Adjustments 65

Anniversary 69

Auld Lang Syne 73

Happy Thanks Giving 77

And So This Is Christmas 81

All Grown Up

A Real Grown-Up 87

Alone Again, Naturally 91

Reunion 95

Well, Shut My Mouth! 101

A Very White Girl 105

Onward Through the Fog 109

Therapy, Maine-Style 113

A Monstrous Regiment of Women 119

Impostor 123

The Anti-Tourist 127

4:00 AM 133

Uninsured 137

Missing Elizabeth 141

Two Hours Later 145

Picture Perfect 149

My Bad (Day) 153

Virtual Fitness 157

Work, Work, Work 159

Fifteen Minutes of Fame 163

Spring Cleaning 167

I Don't Have Much, But I Love What I've Got 171

Acknowledgments 173

About the Author 175

Editorial Reviews

Cindy Eastman’s Flip-Flops After 50 is as funny, warm, and inviting as its title. Filled with the kind of everyday humor that made Erma Bombeck everybody’s favorite columnist, Eastman’s wit and generosity reach out to embrace the reader. With every laugh, there’s a moment of recognition and a sense of camaraderie.”

—Dr. Gina Barreca, professor of English and feminist theory and author of It’s Not That I’m Bitter, or How I Stopped Worrying About Visible Panty Lines and Conquered the World

“Cindy Eastman’s honest, straight-talking wisdom evokes Margaret Young, who said, ‘You must first be who you really are, then do what you need to do, in order to have what you want.’ Heartwarming, humorous, and often inspirational, these essays will touch the spirit of every woman fortunate enough to turn fifty.”

—Jan Coffey, award-winning, best-selling author of Silent Waters

“With great insight, and a healthy dose of self-deprecating wit, Cindy Eastman’s prose sparkles. Reading her essays is like sharing coffee (or perhaps a Skinny Vanilla Latte) and great conversation with a friend, one who doesn’t pretend to have all the answers but rather finds joy in exploring life’s quirks and questions. Whether discussing fitness or parenting, love or loss, her words— equally rich in skill and sincerity—are moving and true. Flip-Flops After 50 delights.”

—Steven Parlato, author of The Namesake

From the Publisher