The Good Divorce

by Constance Ahrons

Overview

It's never too late to have a good divorce

Based on two decades of groundbreaking research, The Good Divorce presents the surprising finding that in more than fifty percent of divorces couples end their marriages, yet preserve their families. Dr. Ahrons shows couples how they can move beyond the confusing, even terrifying early stages of breakup and learn to deal with the transition from a nuclear to a "binuclear" family--one that spans two households and continues to meet the needs of children.

The Good Divorce makes an important contribution to the ongoing "family values" debate by dispelling the myth that divorce inevitability leaves emotionally troubles children in its wake. It is a powerful tonic for the millions of divorcing and long-divorces parents who are tired of hearing only the damage reports. It will make us change the way we think about divorce and the way we divorce, reconfirming our commitment to children and families.

Product Details

ISBN-13:	9780061981937
Publisher:	HarperCollins Publishers
Publication date:	10/06/2009
Sold by:	HARPERCOLLINS
Format:	eBook
Pages:	320
Sales rank:	97,275
File size:	1 MB

About the Author

Constance Ahrons, Ph.D., author of The Good Divorce and co-author of Divorced Families, is professor emerita from the Department of Sociology and former director of the Marriage and Family Therapy Doctoral Training Program at the University of Southern California. A senior scholar and founding co-chair of the Council on Contemporary Families, she is an internationally renowned lecturer, consultant, and workshop leader. Dr. Ahrons is director of Divorce and Remarriage Consulting Associates in San Diego, California.

Table of Contents

	Introduction
1	What's Good in Divorce: Valuing Family	1
2	What Divorce Is and Is Not: Transcending the Myths	20
3	What's Normal in Divorce: Creating a New Vision	47
4	The Emotional Process of Divorce: Letting Go While Holding On	75
5	The Binuclear Family: Forming a Limited Partnership	119
6	The Formal Divorce: Making It Legal	165
7	When the Family Expands: The Aftermath of Divorce	204
8	Pathways to a Good Divorce: 20-20 Hindsight	246
	Epilogue	257
	Appendix: The Binuclear Family Study: Method and Sample	261
	Acknowledgments	269
	Notes	273
	Index	291

Editorial Reviews

Nothing is likely to make divorce pleasant or easy, but Ahrons' landmark longitudinal study of randomly selected postdivorce families offers hope that splitting spouses may be able to handle their breakup in a way that will permit both "adults and children [to] emerge at least as emotionally well as they were before the divorce." Ahrons blends insights from her own research and a cross-national European study as well as 25 years as a therapist to dispel myths, establish useful typologies, articulate the challenges divorcing spouses face, and suggest steps to make a "good divorce" more likely. Central to Ahrons' analysis is the recognition that what she calls "binuclear families" are now more common in the United States (and some other industrialized nations) than the traditional two-adults-with-children model. In either of these structures, "the psychological health of the children depends hugely on the way the spouses--or exspouses ["sic"]--get along." Though "family values" fundamentalists will object to the idea that "binuclear families" can ever be normal and healthy, "The Good Divorce" offers advice and explanations to troubled couples for whom "staying together for the sake of the children" is not a healthy or viable option.

Mary Carroll