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Product Details
| ISBN-13: | 9781482827347 |
|---|---|
| Publisher: | Partridge Singapore |
| Publication date: | 09/22/2014 |
| Pages: | 186 |
| Product dimensions: | 5.50(w) x 8.50(h) x 0.56(d) |
Read an Excerpt
Growing Up With Ignorance
Memoirs of a Singaporean Baby Boomer
By Lee Ali
PartridgeSG
Copyright © 2014 Lee AliAll rights reserved.
ISBN: 978-1-4828-2733-0
CHAPTER 1
Mother's Origin
Little is actually known about Mother's biological ancestors.
Great-Grandmother adopted four children, two boys and two girls. Then she paired them up and had them married. So Grandfather and Grandmother were adopted as brother and sister. Mother was the firstborn of this union.
There was never any mention of Great-Grandfather. Did he exist? Or was Great-Grandmother single? Nevertheless, Great-Grandmother was the matriarch and tyrant in that household. She disciplined by inflicting physical pain. Grandmother used to tell stories of being chased and beaten by her. Grandmother appeared to be the least favored of Great-Grandmother's four children.
The relationship among the four adopted siblings appeared cool. I never saw Grandfather meet with his brother. Grandmother was often lukewarm toward her sister, Third- Grandaunt. She said Great-Grandmother favored Third-Grandaunt. Third-Grandaunt was allowed to attend school, while the others were not. But Third-Grandaunt played truant and dropped out of school very early. So, all four children were quite illiterate.
Third-Grandaunt had a tough life. Third-Granduncle, her husband, was in and out of mental institutions. During the days, when he was more functional, he worked as a trishaw rider. Third-Grandaunt had to work as an odd-job laborer to supplement his income. It was heavy work, transferring goods from ships' holds to barges or from barges to warehouses. When no ship came into the harbor, Third-Grandaunt often ended up at construction sites, carrying loads of stones and sand. Nevertheless, they brought up a brood of children. The eldest son was educationally subnormal, and two other children were frequently institutionalized because of mental disorders.
When I knew more about heredity, I was quite glad Great-Grandmother did a good job pairing up Grandfather and Grandmother.
My grandparents were not exactly warm to one another. Still, they produced five girls and four boys. Grandmother had married very young. When her daughters and daughter-in-law were giving birth to children, Grandmother was still having babies. No wonder, she was in the early half of her thirties when I was born. So I had one auntie eight months older than me and two younger aunties, not to mention those much older.
There was a big generation gap between Mother and her younger sisters, and that did not bode well for her. The younger siblings resented her bossiness and often had lots to say about her.
Grandfather worked as a port supervisor with the Singapore Harbor Board. He had a team of port workers who respected him a great deal. And he took great care of them.
Every seventh month, Grandfather would make offerings of cooked ducks, chickens, fruits, and cakes to the hungry ghosts. After the prayer, Grandmother would divide the food into portions and have them distributed to Grandfather's colleagues. In this way, Grandmother supported Grandfather pretty well.
Then, during the dumpling festival, Grandmother would wrap large quantities of bak-chung and have them distributed to Grandfather's colleagues. She was a great cook. Her ang ku kueh filled with black sesame paste, was superb and yummy.
Grandmother was a homemaker throughout her life. She did not need to leave home to earn a living. When she was in need of cash, she would ask Grandfather. He was not exactly generous with her, but he did provide enough. Sometimes, in her frustration, I heard Grandmother call Grandfather "Lou-au-kui." I was amused. When you are a Lou-au-kui, it means your wife has been sleeping with other men. Grandmother just did not grasp the implication of her words!
In my younger days, when I was allowed to stay with my grandparents for a few days, I noticed Grandfather would take his dinner, enjoy his opium smoking under the big brass bed, and then disappear for the rest of the night. By that time, opium possession had become illegal. That's why Grandfather hid under the bed to smoke it.
The place where they were living was one of many rooms in a building specially built to house port workers' families. Grandfather had a separate bed in another building within walking distance from home. That building served as a dormitory for port workers who were single or without families. Grandfather appeared privileged, with a home and also privacy from the growing brood of children.
Being the first grandchild, Mother was not spared the harsh discipline of her grandmother. From a young age, she had to do housework, carrying water from public taps and selling loads of rambutan in the marketplace. For Mother, physical force was a way of discipline. She used it on her younger siblings, too. Grandfather let her be. She was his firstborn, and he loved her dearly. As for Grandmother, she had no power against the matriarch—mother or mother-in-law?
In 1942, when the Japanese invaded Singapore, Mother was just twelve years old. It was probably her puberty period. To protect her from the ruthless Japanese soldiers, her parents dressed her up like an old woman and hid her at home. But life was hard; they needed food. So eventually Mother went to work in the factories—dressed like an old woman.
Many innocent men were rounded up by the Japanese and shot dead. Horror stories like this went around, and Grandfather was so terrified that he dared not leave home. So while the ladies ventured out to work, he hid under the bed.
Years later, whenever there were any obstacles in our way, Mother would say, "What is so bad? During the Japanese occupation, when the streets were dark, I walked alone." Was Mother hardened by her grandmother or the atrocities she witnessed during the Japanese occupation? Your guess is as good as mine. But the harsh wave of discipline certainly swept down the generations.
My very first memory was Mother spanking me for stepping into a puddle of mud. I was quite tiny then, unable to tell right from wrong, good from bad. I had no words to describe feelings yet—[TEXT NOT REPRODUCIBLE IN ASCII]. But the pain and several similar incidents embedded the memory of physical assaults in my mind—so much so that I startle whenever there is a sudden movement or somebody suddenly raises an arm.
CHAPTER 2Father
If little was known about Mother's biological ancestors, there is practically nothing known about Father's ancestors.
An old couple lost one of their sons through death. He was a young man and just married. One day, while playing cards with his friends, he suddenly collapsed and passed on, leaving no offspring to carry on the family name or provide for his afterlife. So this couple bought a baby boy, my father, in the hope he would pray and make offerings to their dead son during occasions like his death anniversary, birthday, and festive occasions. They were so grateful to have the baby that they named him Tian Sang. It means a gift from heaven.
According to older neighbors, the baby boy came in a basket. Nobody could tell whether he was thoroughbred Chinese or of mixed Asian race. But he looked Chinese enough. In fact, Father was really good-looking, the most handsome man in my life!
During his early childhood days, the old couple doted on Father. They even had a male servant to follow him about and care for him. But they passed on when Father was about eight years old. Left to the care of uncles and aunties, Father eventually had to drop out of primary school to earn his own keep. It seemed the old couple owned several properties, but Father received no share of their estate. So life became hard for this once sheltered boy.
Father worked as a shop assistant and then as a helper at food stalls. Sometimes, when hungry, he would steal tong chye from the shop to eat. He must have eaten too much of it, because in our family, we were forbidden to add tong chye to our dishes.
Eventually Father got a job with the Health Services Department as an attendant in government clinics, and the General Hospital in Singapore.
Father got along well with his cousins, uncles, and aunties. It seemed he was closest to his eldest uncle's wife and treated her almost like his mother. He told me to call her Popo. But Popo did not live long; I was about four years old, when she had a heart attack and passed on.
Mother did not like Father's relatives. To keep the peace, he gradually distanced himself from them and met up only on special occasions like Chinese New Year.
I often wonder why Father chose Mother. In those days, marriages were mostly arranged.
Not long after the Japanese left Singapore, a matchmaker, on Father's behalf, approached my grandparents. Father was ten years older than Mother and rather late for marriage. (He was twenty-eight years old when I was born.) My grandparents did not object, Mother agreed, and so they married.
Father was really poor. He could not afford to engage a photographer for his wedding. So we had no photographs at all of the wedding.
For a short while, Father and Mother stayed with Popo but eventually moved to a rented room above a Chinese medical store, a short distance from my grandparents' place.
Father got along famously with my grandparents. Grandfather often asked Father to run errands for him. Whenever Grandfather received letters or notices, he would consult Father. At that time, Mother's siblings were as illiterate as their parents. They could neither read English nor Chinese. Father, therefore, became a valued member in the extended family as he could read some English. Grandfather loved him very much, too. In fact, Grandfather was closer to Father than to any of his own sons.
Father was also handy. He moved about on his bicycle. Whenever he found electrical appliances or big pieces of wood that were discarded, he would bring them home. He repaired the appliances and made them as good as new for our own use. He sawed and pieced together the odd pieces of wood he found into furniture. We were really too poor to buy our own. So what Father made was really useful. He was a frugal man—he left nothing to waste.
I can still remember the cabinet Father made from door panels of some glass windows. It was so transparent that Mother sewed curtains to hang on the inside. The curtains were plastic sheets with colorful pictures of fishes. The net result: a cabinet that looked like an aquarium! Nonetheless the cabinet served us for many years.
Father seemed to have a knack for such handiwork. He was never formally instructed on electrical wiring or carpentry. But he picked up these skills on his own. Neighbors often asked him to fix their broken electric kettles or irons. He always obliged and never asked for anything in return. So he was popular among the neighbors.
It would appear that Mother caught the most popular man in the neighborhood. But she gradually became dissatisfied with him.
For one thing, he was stuck in his job and never progressed. The pay was low. In those days, some men who were just as lowly educated as Father could get jobs tallying goods on the ships that arrived in the harbor. They earned better money, and some even rose to higher positions. But Father didn't seem to have the courage to try.
He learned to make delicacies like ngoh-hiang and Hokkien prawn noodles while helping out at the food stalls. They were pretty delicious. Mother felt he could have ventured into the food business and made more money. In fact, those stalls that he worked for actually became very popular and well known. Again, Father just did not want to do that.
So it was quite frustrating for Mother.
The sorest bone of contention was Father's obsession to provide for his adopted dead ancestors.
In our family home, a black-and-white portrait of a young man wearing a hat and a shirt with Mandarin collar sat on the altar. The face was expressionless. He was the adopted father that Father never really knew. Every evening, joss sticks were burned for him. On his death and birth anniversaries, offerings of food were made in addition to burning paper money. Father insisted on having fried noodles, yam, poultry, fruits, and soup. It was always a grand meal that was too much to consume and food had to be thrown away.
As if that was not enough, Father also made similar offerings to his adopted grandparents. One of the anniversaries fell three days before Chinese New Year's Eve. The need to repeat offerings within a short period really left big holes in the family pocket. Of course, often after such offerings, Mother found herself short of cash. Father could not produce more. So Mother would kick up a big fuss. Scenes like this, so frequently enacted, simply drove me crazy.
CHAPTER 3My Earliest Recollections
My earliest recollections date back to life in the rented room above the medical store. My parents never told me when I started talking or walking. I guess memories can only be created when there is enough vocabulary to record events in our minds. So I really cannot recall my toddler days.
That room above the medical store belonged to the store owner, Ah Peh. I was probably about three years old or older then. I do remember the few occasions when Mother touched my forehead and announced, "You have a fever. Go downstairs and get a leng-liang drink from Ah Peh." I would obediently carry the tin cup and money she gave me and walk down the stairs. Then I waited patiently as Ah Peh ground a rhino horn with a stone grinder and water. When there was enough, he poured the contents into my tin cup. I would gulp down the contents. "Ugh!" It tasted odd. But I downed every drop.
By that tender age, I was already conditioned not to defy Mother's orders, and I was quite obedient. How she did it beats me now!
But then was Mother ever satisfied with me? No! There was Rosie. She was two years younger than me. She cried whenever she lost sight of Mother. Mother would say, "Asi has a heart for me." She meant Rosie loved her. As for me, interested in play and not bothered when Mother was out of sight, she said, "Ali has no heart for me at all!" And for years I heard this frequent complaint. Mother told everyone—her parents, siblings, friends, and relatives. But she never taught me how to cultivate a heart for her.
I was my parents' firstborn. If Father was disappointed I was a girl, he never showed it. Much later I overheard Mother tell a neighbor that Great-Grandmother urged Father to give me away. That upset him so much that he quarreled with the old woman. Yes, Father had the duty to carry on the family name so he needed a son, not a daughter. But I was his first blood relative; it would be hard to part with me.
As for Great-Grandmother, she never visited after that. When she passed on, I was an infant so I never got to know her.
Father doted on me. He made a perch on his bicycle especially for me. Whenever he was off work, we would go cycling around the neighborhood. Often we ended up at Ah Bie's place. Ah Bie was one of Father's six blood brothers and his best friend, too.
Well, Ah Bie's place was a farm. His parents lived there with him. They reared many chickens and ducks. The hens seemed to produce lots of eggs. Ah Bie's mother frequently served us mugs of hot Milo drinks each flavored with an egg. I loved to see the bright orange yolk floating on the top of the drink. One day, there was no egg in my drink!
"Hee, hee, hee, Ali is very smart. No egg in her Milo, so she is not going to Ah Bie's place anymore," I later overheard Father telling Mother.
(Continues...)
Excerpted from Growing Up With Ignorance by Lee Ali. Copyright © 2014 Lee Ali. Excerpted by permission of PartridgeSG.
All rights reserved. No part of this excerpt may be reproduced or reprinted without permission in writing from the publisher.
Excerpts are provided by Dial-A-Book Inc. solely for the personal use of visitors to this web site.
Table of Contents
Contents
Acknowledgements, 9,Prologue, 13,
Chapter 1 Mother's Origin, 15,
Chapter 2 Father, 23,
Chapter 3 My Earliest Recollections, 31,
Chapter 4 The Cabin above the Garage, 35,
Chapter 5 Time with My Grandparents, 39,
Chapter 6 Those Cabin Days, 49,
Chapter 7 Godparents and Beliefs, 54,
Chapter 8 Marriages of Mother's Siblings, 59,
Chapter 9 Birth of My Siblings, 68,
Chapter 10 Late for Schooling, 74,
Chapter 11 Life in the Hospital Quarters, 81,
Chapter 12 Blame, Shame, and Care, 94,
Chapter 13 My Early Days in School, 104,
Chapter 14 The Strange World Beyond Home, 113,
Chapter 15 Poverty, 123,
Chapter 16 Mother and Her Insecurities, 129,
Chapter 17 First Boyfriend, 139,
Chapter 18 Joining the Workforce, 155,
Chapter 19 Mother Again, 165,
Chapter 20 Free At Last?, 174,
Epilogue, 179,
About the Author, 183,
About the Book, 185,