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I'm Free
Awareness of Who You Are By Discovering Who You Are Not!
By ERIKA KIND Balboa Press
Copyright © 2014 Erika Kind
All rights reserved.
ISBN: 978-1-4525-9370-8
CHAPTER 1
Why Do We Experience What We Experience?
What we encounter in our lives as circumstances, events, incidents, or persons many people call fate. With the term fate, most people associate an unpredictable force that shapes our lives according to its inclination and mood and to what we seem to be abandoned to. That's utterly not true! Everything we encounter is simply a reaction to our actions—actions in terms of thoughts, feelings, and the resultant activities, habits, and targets we have set for this lifetime. Two things cause something to happen in our lives. In the course of this book, I will give an overview of these two causes and will automatically go step-by-step deeper into the details.
1. Our Program of Life
The one and only reason for our earth life is to acquire knowledge—in fact, to acquire as much knowledge as possible. I am not talking about knowledge from school but about spiritual knowledge. We all come here in order to grow and to mature, to increase our frequencies, and to eventually integrate all knowledge within us and thus become consciously one with our Source of creation. But this does not end with reading a few spiritual books or faithfully going to church each Sunday. It's about knowledge that we absorb by making experiences during our journey through life so that they become parts of us. Thus, we have integrated this knowledge without having to even think about it any further. But of course, we have set not only one target to accomplish in our lives but many! However, we really want to have achieved some of these goals by the end of our earthly lives. And to achieve them, we are confronted with all we need to do so. All this is never to be understood as punishment!
We will encounter aids on our way so that we get the full benefits from them. This can be pleasant; however, more often than not, it is very unpleasant, which has proved to be the most effective way to learn the lessons set.
2. We Attract What We Think and Believe
Faith starts with a single thought. It can be a thought arising in us, but we can also absorb it from outside. No matter what kind of thought it is, when we think it often enough, it will ripen until it becomes the truth. It may be thoughts that we like to think but also thoughts that cause us to feel uncomfortable. When we often enough hear that we are dumb and then when something stupid happens, we automatically think, Oh, man, am I stupid! Then this idea is strengthened over time.
From an early age we are exposed to many sources of information, which we use to guide ourselves and our beliefs. Through education, school, friends, media, relatives, and much more, we are confronted with different rules and opinions. Some of them have been absorbed consciously; others have crept in almost imperceptibly. All of this information that you have stored inside of you as true from outside sources corresponds to a large extent to the belief of others who have completely different programs in life from you. The beliefs of these people have most likely been formed in the same way by unconsciously absorbing and accepting information for decades. Now it has become apparent that many of our thought patterns have not emerged from our own inner convictions but are mixtures of trained and often subconsciously accepted thoughts.
But why do our thoughts and beliefs influence the events in our lives? Whatever we focus on, whatever we act out with conviction, with what kind of attitude do we encounter the happenings in our lives? All this is essential for what life gives back to us! I am talking about the law of attraction. Like attracts like.
We will always find or become in our lives what we put our attention to and what corresponds to the vibrations we emit. When we focus our thoughts on fears, faults, and shortages, we will always be faced with situations that confirm these convictions. Whatever we feel inside of us as a conviction connects us to the same energy frequency on the outside. So what we get is mostly the result of the kind of energy we radiated in the first place, according to our perspectives of our lives and ourselves.
We have come here to create our own realities, and we see the world the way we want to see it. And the way we want to see it is manifested for us. Returning to the previous example, if we are of the opinion that we are stupid, then the universe will confirm our point of view and provide us with everything that makes us look stupid. It will provide us with misfortunes but also with persons who confirm our point of view repeatedly. It doesn't matter if these ideas really correspond to our true being or if they are absorbed suggestions from outside. Whatever we expect from life, wherever we put our attention on—wanted or unwanted—will manifest. This is the second reason why things happen in our lives the way they happen.
When we come into this life, we have our program of life. But the realization of our program of life is strongly influenced by the second statement, which is that we attract what we think and believe. The real problem now arises in the second statement. As long as we block our own true beliefs and viewpoints by set ways of thought structures, negate our feelings, and deny our true needs and wishes, we are not able to know why we have incarnated and what our life program really is! To recognize our own truth and to be able to see the paths that we have to travel in order to fulfill our deepest purpose, it is essential that we first work on the second statement. We have to clear up all the debris that we have dumped for decades in front of our True Selves.
The following example explains this thought. Everyone carries bags around with them. Let's say we carry backpacks—backpacks for the equipment needed to walk from point A to point B in our lives. This backpack contains the spiritual provisions for our journeys of development. From an early stage we start filling this backpack. We pack everything into it that we consider necessary and useful. We pack many small food parcels that we receive from others—with the best of intentions or as intentional stumbling blocks. Every experience, every belief pattern, and every incident is placed in this backpack. It is necessary to pack everything because every single parcel has the function to show us something, and it did the trick!
But we reach stages in our lives when we use the parcels in our backpack because we need them; however, we sometimes forget to throw away the packaging. Now it is time to throw away the empty packaging. Herein lies the problem. We kept on placing things in our backpack but never removed any of the used stuff. Instead, we kept filling the backpack, and it was constantly getting heavier and heavier. What seem to be burdens now are not the things we pack and could be things we really need but rather the empty packaging and all the spoiled food that has accumulated and started to stink. Since we have been carrying it around with us for so long, we have long since forgotten about it. We just feel this heaviness, but we cannot define where it comes from. In addition, we are often no longer able to absorb new information because the backpack is full of old stuff and there is no room for anything new.
Once we become aware that we carry a lot that's not relevant at all anymore, the process of introspection begins. We take the bags from our backs and consciously open them—maybe for the first time in years. Now the time has come to clean the bags out! At first we will find the newest packaging that we have put into the bags and take that out. The oldest packages are at the bottom and will be taken out last. It is not recommended to just dig down blindly into the backpack, as this could prove to be very unpleasant and painful. We might not be prepared to look at what we then take out. Removing the upper parts helps us and prepares us to go deeper gradually. It is the same as when you start to look deeply into your heart. We are first confronted with those feelings and situations that were added last. These are easier to understand. Each level prepares us for the next lower level and so on. Once we have eliminated all unnecessary garbage or at least taken a look at it, we have created space (room) to welcome new things with a newfound ease in our lives. This process of clearing out belongs to the first statement, the process of self-discovery!
For both the first and the second statement, we are equipped with a navigation system that informs us constantly whether we are on our correct path or not. We always feel if something is good or bad.
If we, for instance, feel a resistance within us when we hear, "Remain modest! You don't have the right to have a bigger car. You don't deserve it!" then it's an obvious signal that this way of thinking does not correspond to our inner truth. It might correspond to the truth of Mr. Smith on Smith Street but not to our own. Everybody has their own truth, which is composed of all the previously mentioned aspects. Therefore, there can be no single truth in many issues. By the way, it's never true that we don't deserve something! We are all precious beings who only deserve the best!
Distinguishing between what belongs to our True Selves and what is foreign storage might be the hardest part to work on as one of our spiritual tasks. When we have accomplished this and understood how the universal laws operate, we have absolved a significant learning step to win the battle against our own ego thinking.
The realization of who we really are and why we have come into this world is the best basis to successfully go through our earthly existence.
Once we have uncovered the view of ourselves, our navigation system can unaffectedly specify the course to the real reason of our existence without losing the satellite reception. Then we can see our own truth.
This book shall be a torch to light the path from your false self to your True Self.
You alone know your own truth, because you're the only one who sees through your eyes.
The Story About the Ego and the Unconscious Self
To help understand more thoroughly how we have reached the situation of having to increase our state of awareness by repeated incarnations, I am paraphrasing a wonderful story of the regression therapist Jan Erik Sigdell. This story depicts why we believe that we are separated from our Source and why we consequently created the ego. It also illustrates that this seeming separation is not real at all and that we are not only connected with our Source but also with one another.
God viewed His creation and called it good. There was a large number of beings, and all of them carried inside of them a seed to allow growth to complete goodness, a seed of perfection. Joyfully and playfully they grew up in their paradise. They had a free will and were able to make decisions. Thus, every being could go its own way, which was in accordance with its nature.
Now because of this free will, it happened that one of God's creatures had a new idea. It thought, What if we emancipate ourselves from creation? Can't we also be without God? And it further thought, Let's live to the fullest and become independent. We want to go our own way and choose for ourselves. The being presented his idea to the others, and many of them were interested. And they went to see God.
God argued, "That's not possible, because we are all one. We cannot separate from one another, as then the stream of life's energy in the universe would be interrupted, and you would not be able to exist."
But the being who had the idea did not really want to believe this. He wanted to try something to put it into action. Some of the beings who were first interested in his idea turned back to God, but others completely committed themselves to this new idea. The being who initially had the idea became their leader. "If it's true that we have a free will," it said, "then it must be possible!"
And God let it happen. The renegades will eventually learn from their experiences, He thought. But with those ideas they will be able to cause a great deal of harm in creation and disturb the holy order. That's why God created a special space for them where they could live out their concepts. In this space they were shielded from the rest of creation, for its and their own protection. Now they could live their illusion of emancipation from creation.
But it would be impossible for them to exist this way without continuously being connected with the divine life's energy. If the connection was interrupted for only one moment, they would immediately cease to exist. It would be as if they never had existed at all. Therefore, God needed to supply them with His own life's energy across the borders of their separated space.
However, so that they could indulge in their illusion completely undisturbed, God arranged it so that they were unable to see the light of that energy. He took their awareness of being connected with His energy away from them. This way, and for the first time, the unconscious self-emerged through the separation of the conscious part of their personalities, which has been called ego since then. From that day on, the ego has existed as that part of being believed to be independent and living out the illusion of separation.
The leader of the beings realized that some kind of life force was necessary within this space of seeming separation from God. He felt fulfilled with that divine energy, whose cause was now unconscious to him as well. As he was not able to see that it was God who still let His energy flow through him, he believed that he radiated his own energy to these beings. In particular, he feared that they would cease to exist without this energy and that they would be lost for him. Eventually he needed them to live out his idea. What benefit would he gain from being alone after all?
So it was something radiating that emanated from him. These beings experienced it as light, and therefore, they called him Lucifer, the bringer of light. As they now dwelt in a world of illusion, they could not see that this was not the real light anymore but a modified form of the divine light radiating throughout the world and being transmitted by their leader.
In former times they all ate the fruits from God's tree. Now they could not remember this tree and ate the fruits from the tree of illusion instead. They were not aware of the truth anymore and therefore thought that this was the Tree of Knowledge.
Now our ego still picks the fruits from the supposed Tree of Knowledge and does not realize that in reality it's the Tree of Illusion. Only our unconscious self continuously lives on the Tree of Life, as otherwise we could not exist one more second.
The world of illusion consolidated, and its beings received physical bodies. So that they could continue to exist, the beings were separated into male and female parts—two different aspects of God, after whose image they were created in the first place. As everything else was invisible to them, they did not see that all this was God's creation. He wanted to secure the existence of their playground so that they could continue to live their illusion. And it was good because with their very limited consciousness they could not cause so much damage anymore. Although they were endowed by their Creator with much power and enormous abilities, this was now slumbering deep within them without even being noticed. The physical bodies had properties so that they could not exist by themselves. Everything in the physical world undergoes a process of natural decay. This world was not originally planned in creation. It was supposed to only exist until the beings found their way out of the illusion. The leader of these beings was highly developed when he had his unfortunate idea. He knew more than the others. Within himself he found the ability to create, and he added his own creations to the material world. He had the idea of a self-sustaining circulation of life's energy. An embodied being should eat the bodies of other beings in order to be eaten by others again. This was a method to retain the available energy despite the natural decay of the physical structures. The one who is eaten passes on life's energy to others. And the person who eats other bodies can incorporate life's energy at the expense of other beings.
(Continues...)
Excerpted from I'm Free by ERIKA KIND. Copyright © 2014 Erika Kind. Excerpted by permission of Balboa Press.
All rights reserved. No part of this excerpt may be reproduced or reprinted without permission in writing from the publisher.
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