It's Not Over: Getting Beyond Tolerance, Defeating Homophobia, and Winning True Equality

by Michelangelo Signorile

Overview

From the author of the groundbreaking bestseller Queer in America, a myth-shattering look at the present and future of gay rights

Marriage equality has surged across the country. Closet doors have burst open in business, entertainment, and even major league sports. But as longtime advocate Michelangelo Signorile argues in his most provocative book yet, the excitement of such breathless change makes this moment more dangerous than ever. Puncturing the illusion that victory is now inevitable, Signorile marshals stinging evidence that an age-old hatred, homophobia, is still a basic fact of American life. He exposes the bigotry of the brewing religious conservative backlash against LGBT rights and challenges the complacency and hypocrisy of supposed allies in Washington, the media, and Hollywood.

Not just a wake-up call, It's Not Over is also a battle plan for the fights to come in the march toward equality. Signorile tells the stories of lesbian, gay, bisexual, and transgender Americans who have refused to be merely tolerated, or worse, and are demanding full acceptance. And he documents signs of hope in schools and communities finding new ways to combat ignorance, bullying, and fear. Urgent and empowering, It's Not Over is a necessary book from one of our most electrifying voices.

Product Details

ISBN-13:	9780544705234
Publisher:	Houghton Mifflin Harcourt
Publication date:	04/12/2016
Edition description:	Reprint
Pages:	304
Product dimensions:	5.20(w) x 7.90(h) x 0.90(d)

About the Author

MICHELANGELO SIGNORILE is the best-selling author of Queer in America. He is the host of the Sirius XM radio show The Michelangelo Signorile Show and an editor-at-large of Huffington Post Gay Voices. An award-winning journalist, Signorile has written for dozens of magazines and newspapers, including the New York Times, Los Angeles Times, USA Today, New York Magazine, Salon, and the Village Voice.

Read an Excerpt

1

Victory Blindness

The Dangerous Illusion That We’ve Almost Won

Imagine a group of people who have spent decades—generations, centuries—in fear, invisibility, struggle, and silence. Imagine they find their voice, only to be decimated by an era of death and unthinkable loss made more bitter by crushing societal indifference to their predicament.

Now imagine that, in a matter of a few short years, everything seems to change. At what feels like light speed, they make momentous gains. The world begins to open its arms to them in ways they had never thought possible. The experience is powerful, exhilarating, spellbinding even. It feels like they are living in a dream. But behind that dream is a reality more treacherous than many of them may vaguely imagine.

Over the past few years, lesbian, gay, bisexual, and transgender Americans have been living in that dream. In 2011 the onerous “don’t ask, don’t tell” law banning gays and lesbians from serving openly in the military was repealed. The destructive force of the Defense of Marriage Act disintegrated in 2013 when a thunderous Supreme Court ruling in U.S. v. Windsor struck it down. In rapid succession, state after state, from the coasts well into the heartland, transformed into what appeared to be bastions of full equality as thousands of gay and lesbian couples marched down the aisle. Even deep in Mormon Utah and in Oklahoma, the “buckle of the Bible Belt,” federal judges threw out hateful bans on gay marriage, and the issue worked its way back up to an apparently sympathetic Supreme Court.

We saw LGBT people represented in movies, in music, and on TV in ways we’d not experienced before. Not only were gay and transgender characters more visible than ever, but also openly gay, lesbian, bisexual, and transgender actors were more and more often invited to play these roles. A mass wedding occurred at the Grammy Awards. Ellen DeGeneres, a lesbian comedian, made an enormous comeback after her sitcom was canceled the year following her coming out in the 1990s, to become a daytime television sensation. Rosie O’Donnell was back on The View and more outspoken than ever. A transgender actress, Laverne Cox, stood tall on the cover of Time magazine. Apple’s Tim Cook made a huge impact in the business world, becoming the most high-profile CEO—and the only one among the Fortune 500 companies—to come out, proclaiming he is “proud to be gay.”

Since the mid-’90s many people with HIV were no longer suffering and dying; they were increasingly thriving and the picture of good health because of life-saving drug treatments. Gay–straight alliance groups were formed in schools across the country, and LGBT people began to come out of the closet at ever-younger ages. Even in the world of sports, visibility arrived in unprecedented ways. A midcareer NBA player, Jason Collins, came out as gay, and even the barrier of the macho world of football broke when Michael Sam became the first openly gay player drafted to the NFL and shared his happiness by expressing his love, kissing his boyfriend for all of America to see.

In seductive ways, it started to feel as if we had almost finally “made it,” that we were just about equal in the eyes of most of the American people. The media reported on dizzying poll results that seemed to point to acceptance. We heard cheering and huge sighs of relief as many soaked up the success that now seemed so evident. Like many people, I even noticed my Facebook feed regularly erupting with posts expressing congratulations or disbelief about seeing these great strides in our lifetime.

Yet it was—and is—a dangerous moment. It’s a moment in which all of us, LGBT and straight, who support equality risk falling prey to what I’ve come to call victory blindness. We’re overcome by the heady whirl of a narrative of victory, a kind of bedtime story that tells us we’ve reached the promised land, that can make everything else seem like a blur. Even with the enormously positive developments—and, as this book will show, sometimes perhaps as a reaction to them—homophobia rages on in America, as sports stars are practically rewarded after spouting hate, as TV sitcoms still make gay and transgender people the insulting punch line, as the media respects and airs bigoted views of the “other side,” as businesses now brazenly flaunt a “no gays allowed” policy, as many workers fear coming out on the job more than ever, as federal civil rights protections seem further away than before, and as we are often not well served by a gay establishment that apologizes for and lauds political leaders rather than demanding action. Maybe it’s time to get rid of the bedtime story and wake up from the dream.

I say it’s a “dangerous” moment because at the same time that all the great strides have occurred, discrimination, violence, and tragic horror stories—in addition to the daily slights that all of us who are gay, lesbian, bisexual, or transgender have experienced for years—have not only continued, they’ve sometimes become more blatant. Rather than dissipating, reports of violence against LGBT people have surged, even in the most liberal, gay-accepting cities, spiking 27% in New York City alone from 2013 to 2014, according to the Anti-Violence Project. In Seattle, where an increase in hate crimes had also been seen since 2013, a man pleaded guilty in 2014 to setting a gay bar on fire on New Year’s Eve, saying in a statement that homosexuals should be “exterminated.” And nationally, homicides motivated by hatred against gay, lesbian, and bisexual people are themselves outnumbered by hate-motivated killings of transgender women by a factor of almost 3 to 1. These attacks, the vast majority of which have been perpetrated against transgender women of color, have reached what one advocate called “epidemic” levels.

In Philadelphia, in September 2014, onlookers were stunned when, according to several reports, a group of between eight and twelve “well-dressed” men and women in their twenties hurled what witnesses described as homophobic slurs—“dirty faggot” and “fucking faggot”—at a gay male couple walking by. One of the gay men was knocked unconscious, sustaining severe damage to his face, requiring surgery and the wiring of his jaw. Three people were later arrested and charged with assault, but, outrageously, they couldn’t be charged with a hate crime because Pennsylvania lacked a hate-crimes law protecting LGBT people. In Georgia a twenty-year-old man captured video on his phone of a scene that could have taken place in the ’80s or ’90s: his family tried to perform an “intervention” to take him to an “ex-gay” program. The video shows family members beating him and his father calling him a “queer.” This took place in August 2014.

Wrenching reports about suicides of gay and transgender teens, which exploded in the media beginning several years ago, only escalated. It could be that these stories are being reported more rather than actually rising in number. Perhaps it’s both. Either way, LGBT teens, who are believed to make up fewer than 10% of all teens, still account for between 30% and 40% of teen suicides, according to several studies. As shocking as they are, these statistics fail to capture the very real pain and suffering. In December 2014, an Ohio transgender teen, Leelah Alcorn, took her own life after posting a suicide note online in which she described torment and despair because her parents and “Christian therapists” refused to accept her. In August 2014, another story came to light of a bullied gay teen, Alexander Betts Jr. in Iowa, who’d taken his own life; even after his death, he was bullied by our federal health establishment. The sixteen-year-old’s eyes were rejected for donation to a fourteen-year-old boy, because the Food and Drug Administration (FDA), in a policy that harks back to the ’80s and AIDS hysteria, banned for life “men who have sex with men” from donating blood and certain organs. After thirty-one years, in December 2014 the FDA announced a partial change, to allow those who’ve been sexually abstinent for a full year to donate (a rule to which heterosexuals aren’t held). Given advanced testing, the policy should be based on science and sexual risk no matter an individual’s sexual orientation. Why was this kind of double standard still evident if we were almost near victory?

Table of Contents

Author's Note ix

1 Victory Blindness 1

The Dangerous Illusion that We've Almost Won

2 "We don't serve fags here" 25

The Cycle of Bigotry and Discrimination Across America

3 Bias and Backlash 57

How the Enemies of Equality Are Rebranding, Recalibrating, and Readying for Battle

4 Hiding in Plain Sight 80

The Impulse to Cover, from Washington to Hollywood

5 Worthy of Defending 107

Challenging Bullying and Creating Empowerment

6 Not Up for Debate 126

Abandoning the Media's "Both Sides" Delusion

7 Winning True Equality 138

How the Grass Roots Are Vital to Full Civil Rights

8 Fields of Combat 159

Major-League Bias and the End of Bigotry

Epilogue: Charting a Path Forward 175

Afterword: Challenging Ourselves, and the World 180

Acknowledgments 204

Notes 207

Index 268

Editorial Reviews

"A cautionary, timely gay rights manifesto with teeth." —Kirkus

From the Publisher

04/01/2015
In his latest work, veteran journalist and LGBT advocate Signorile (The Huffington Post; Queer in America) offers a passionate exhortation against complacency. This title is a call for sexual minorities to remember that non-straight individuals are, too often, accepted into the mainstream only to the extent they are willing to conform. Signorile reminds us that as same-sex couples are marrying across the country, other forms of discrimination continue unabated—and in some cases intensify as backlash for increased visibility and acceptance. LGBT history and experience is erased from the classroom in the name of protecting children, queer youth face bullying and homelessness at disproportionate rates, workers stay closeted for fear of losing their jobs, businesses refuse to serve queer folks in the name of religion, and the mainstream media continue to give time and space to discredited antigay arguments. The speed of certain narrow victories, Signorile argues, may blind us to continued inequalities. VERDICT Written primarily for a queer audience, this work joins a growing number of texts by LGBT activists meditating on "what's next?" after marriage equality. Signorile's fans will likely enjoy reading his book-length treatment of familiar themes; his voice will be one of many to inform the work of LGBT activists moving into the next phase of the struggle for equality.—Anna J. Clutterbuck-Cook, Massachusetts Historical Soc. Lib., Boston

Library Journal

2015-02-17
The noted outspoken gay journalist and radio host passionately appeals to the gay community to resist complacency in the struggle for equality. In a thought-provoking call to arms, Signorile (Hitting Hard: Michelangelo Signorile on George W. Bush, Mary Cheney, Gay Marriage, Tom Cruise, the Christian Right and Sexual Hypocrisy in America, 2005, etc.) masterfully combines quotations and interviews from his satellite radio show with historical facts from the ever evolving gay rights movement to reiterate the "disconnect between the way we talk about the strides forward and the reality on the ground." As revolutionary as the advancements in LGBT equality may appear, much work remains. Anti-gay violence, vicious schoolyard bullying, transphobia, Hollywood "gatekeep[ing]," and widespread discrimination in the name of religion are still occurring at alarming rates. The author surveys an impressive variety of contentious incidents (many already addressed on his radio program) ranging from the controversial, "morally complex" resignation of anti-gay Mozilla CEO Brendan Eich to extreme cases of homophobic bigotry, industry double standards, and hate crimes. Though it's crystal clear whose side he's on, Signorile fair-mindedly contrasts his pro-gay stance with contradicting conservative political and religious-leaning perspectives, and he points out the inherent flaws in their dictums. He severely criticizes the Republican Party for enacting widespread legislation based on the doctrine of "religious liberties." By rebranding their backlash against marriage equality, the author shows how it directly threatens the freedoms of the LGBT community. Furthermore, he writes, this type of manipulative legal and social maneuvering places many other minority populations at risk for legalized discrimination as well. A summary of empowering steps forms a galvanizing takeaway for readers interested in making a difference. Though a tad vainglorious in spots, the thrust of Signorile's urgent message is cogent and heartfelt, creating an essential reminder to the LGBT community to continue pressing forward toward the ultimate goal of "full civil rights and true equality." A cautionary, timely gay rights manifesto with teeth.

Kirkus Reviews