Loving an Adult Child of an Alcoholic

by Douglas Bey M.D., Deborah Bey R.N.

Overview

The child of an alcoholic develops patterns of behavior during childhood which carry over into adult life. As children they were taught to cover up the family secret and suppress their feelings. No matter what is going on, as adults, when asked how she or he is doing your partner will likely answer "fine." Distrust, fear of abandonment, and sensitivity to criticism are all major issues for your adult child. Recognizing these patterns and changing the ones that cause problems will help you and your partner enjoy a deeper relationship.

Product Details

ISBN-13:	9781590771174
Publisher:	M. Evans & Company
Publication date:	04/28/2007
Pages:	240
Sales rank:	153,232
Product dimensions:	6.03(w) x 9.16(h) x 0.71(d)

About the Author

Dr. Douglas Bey is a Distinguished Life Fellow of the American Psychiatric Association, served as a board examiner for the American Board of Neurology and Psychiatry for many years, was past president of his county medical society, his hospital medical staff, and his county board of health. Deborah Bey is an adult child of an alcoholic. She trained at Barnes Hospital in St. Louis and was the head nurse on a hospital chemical dependency unit for a number of years. She later worked in a multidisciplinary private psychiatric group practice with Dr. Bey where she counseled ACOAs on an individual and group basis.

Table of Contents

Acknowledgments     ix
Introduction     1
You Aren't Reading This by Accident     7
Entering the "Mind Field"     29
Putting the "Fun" Back in Dysfunction     53
The Push-Pull of Commitment and Trust     65
The Paradox of Chronic Tension     79
He Had a Hat     91
They Don't Know They're Beautiful     103
Mountains from Molehills     113
You Get to Make the "Important Decisions" and Your ACOA Makes the Rest     121
Nurturing Your Partner's Inner Child     127
Too Nice     135
Parenting Is Scary for Most People-Especially Your Adult Child     149
ACOAs Frequently Dread Social Occasions     161
Birds of a Feather     173
Tending to Your Relationship     181
Dealing with Addiction Problems     189
Religion Helps Us     199
Conclusion     213
Resources     219
Index     225

Editorial Reviews

Most apparent in the reading of this book is that Doug and Deborah Bey believe in the possibility of adult children of alcoholics being able to garner and sustain healthy couple-ship. Addressing the well known issues of lack of trust, hypervigilance, difficulty with conflict, inability to play, assuming the worst, and fear of commitment are just a few of the dynamics in which they offer support and direction for both partners. With a wealth of examples, compassion, and humor this couple offers validation and hope to the possibilities of developing secure and healthy relationships.

Claudia Black