Loving Someone in Recovery: The Answers You Need When Your Partner Is Recovering from Addiction

by Beverly Berg, Stan Tatkin

Overview

Recovering addicts are faced with many challenges, and these challenges can often extend to their romantic partners. During the recovery period, couples often struggle with overcoming feelings of betrayal and frustration, and may have a hard time rebuilding trust and closeness. While there are many resources available to recovering addicts, there are limited resources for the people who love them.

In Loving Someone in Recovery, therapist Beverly Berg offers powerful tools for the partners of recovering addicts. Based in mindfulness, attachment theory, and neurobiology, this book will help readers sustain emotional stability in their relationships, increase effective communication, establish boundaries, and take real steps toward reigniting intimacy.

The material in this book is drawn from the author’s successful Conscious Couples Recovery Workshop. With more than 25 years in the field, she has developed a unique set of exercises that address the issues faced by couples in recovery. This book addresses the roles that both partners play in recovery, and aims to help readers develop a new appreciation for one another and improve self-confidence and acceptance.

The road to recovery is never an easy one, but by building a strong support system, the chances of success are exponentially greater. For more information on Berg’s work, visit consciouscouplesrecovery.com

Product Details

ISBN-13:	9781608828982
Publisher:	New Harbinger Publications
Publication date:	02/02/2014
Series:	The New Harbinger Loving Someone Series
Pages:	232
Sales rank:	60,422
Product dimensions:	5.90(w) x 8.90(h) x 0.60(d)

About the Author

Beverly Berg, MFT, PhD, is a therapist and author whose work has been founded on cutting-edge therapies such as eye movement desensitization and reprocessing (EMDR); emotional freedom techniques (EFT); and the indirect hypnosis methods of Milton H. Erickson, which integrate psychological, emotional, physical, and spiritual well-being, and focus on the complex relationship between the body and the mind.
 
Foreword writer Stan Tatkin, PsyD, MFT, is a clinician, researcher, teacher, and developer of the psychobiological approach to couples therapy. He teaches and supervises family medicine residents at Kaiser Permanente in Woodland Hills and lives with his wife and daughter in Calabasas, CA.

Table of Contents

Foreword vii

Acknowledgments xi

Introduction 1

1 Taking the Struggle out of Recovery 9

2 Getting Acquainted with Addiction-Free Reality: Breaking the Fantasy Spells 29

3 Establishing and Maintaining Boundaries: Getting to Know Yourself 63

4 Moods and Emotions: Living with the Ups and Downs 93

5 Rapport: Responding, Not Reacting 121

6 Intimacy and Desire: Bringin' Sexy Back 143

7 Exploring Spirituality: What's God Got to Do with It? 165

8 Settling Down Together: Staying on Track 185

Recommended Readings 203

References 207

Editorial Reviews

“In a warm, comforting, and down-to-earth voice, Beverly Berg offers powerful, heartfelt help for couples and families grappling with addiction and recovery. Grounded in the latest neuroscience and illuminated by mindfulness, her book offers practical tools and advice for lasting love and happiness. Beverly writes with charm, humor, and the bone-deep understanding that comes from someone who has been there herself. This book is a remarkable achievement, at once compelling and profound, cheerful and wise.”
—Rick Hanson, PhD, author of Buddha's Brain and Hardwiring Happiness

“Loving Someone in Recovery is the real deal: insightful, comprehensive, funny, and beautifully written. It’s like having someone very wise walking beside you through rough terrain. And what a wonderful guide Beverly Berg is. Her knowledge comes through on every page. She speaks as a person who has been there, and as a clinician with years of experience helping real people put their lives back together. Anyone touched by a recovering person they care about needs this book. It has the power to change your life.”
—Terrence Real, MSW, LCSW, author of The New Rules of Marriage: What You Need to Know to Make Marriage Work

“With a strong understanding of addiction recovery and many years of working with couples struggling in their intimate relationships, Beverly Berg masterfully addresses the codependency that undermines the potential for a happy coupleship. While she recognizes the complexity of the challenges, she also knows the hope that comes with the possibilities. With a delightful writing style, she offers her readers concrete, do-able tools, and gives them the skills needed to create a healthy and happy relationship. This is the seminal book for couples confronted with the recovery of addiction and the age-old issue of codependency that undermines the promises.”
—Claudia Black, PhD, author of It Will Never Happen to Me: Changing Course and Deceived: Facing Sexual Betrayal, Lies and Secrets

“Using her experiences from working with her clients, Beverly Berg has written a moving and helpful book for all couples seeking an intimate and fulfilling relationship. Through her use of specific and clear tools, the reader has available the possibility of creating intimacy, as well as tools for addressing the conflicts that occur in relationships and moving toward a greater understanding of love and commitment. In my books, Coupleship and Understanding Codependency, these are tenants of a fulfilling relationship. Berg offers a whole new dimension for growing together, and separately, in a healthy relationship. I applaud her book, Loving Someone in Recovery.”
—Sharon Wegscheider-Cruse, MA, author of Coupleship and Understanding Codependency, founder of Onsite Workshops, and family therapist www.sharonwcruse.com

“Loving Someone in Recovery is a groundbreaking, practical, and brilliant guide. It will give heart and support to millions in recovery and help them to learn to love wisely at last.”
—Jack Kornfield, PhD, best-selling author of A Path with Heart

“Beverly Berg touches upon some of the most sensitive and raw issues a human being can experience: the conflict, unpredictability, and ‘not-knowing’ of the recovery process. But she gives us a way home with kindness and counsel that help turn this into a redemptive and transformational experience. Enjoy the ride!”
—Tim Ryan, United States congressman, co-chair of the House Caucus on Addiction and Recovery, and author of A Mindful Nation

“Beverly Berg writes with deep understanding and compassion. Filled with practical advice and exercises, this book is an invaluable resource for anyone in a relationship with someone in recovery.”
—Sharon Salzberg, author of Real Happiness and Lovingkindness

“Loving Someone in Recovery is a pivotal book of our time for the recovering codependent. This book addresses the universal issues codependents and their addict partners struggle with after entering the world of recovery. With humor and straight-up talk, Beverly Berg, an expert in her field, provides answers to common questions and a clear path to follow. I strongly recommend this book!”
—Gabrielle Bernstein, author of Spirit Junkie

“Beverly Berg outlines the framework of a recovering couple’s relationship in direct and clear ways that will bring a taste of reality to those struggling with codependence and recovery from addiction. Her descriptions of the entangled codependent relationship are clear and free from jargon; her guidance on moving into a more healthy, loving, and grounded connection are practical and to the point. A valuable guide for every couple facing the challenges of recovery.”
—Kevin Griffin, author of One Breath at a Time: Buddhism and the Twelve Steps and A Burning Desire: Dharma God and the Path of Recovery

“If you are part of a recovering couple and looking for a handbook on how to transform the quality of relationship from dysfunction to healing and connection, you’ve found it. Grounded in deep personal and professional experience, combined with a warm and witty sense of humor, Beverly Berg lights the path for a better future for yourself and your relationship. Stop, listen, and soak up these powerful lessons!”
—Elisha Goldstein, PhD, author of The Now Effect: How this Moment Can Change the Rest of Your Life and coauthor of A Mindfulness-Based Stress Reduction Workbook

From the Publisher