Marital Intelligence

by Gil Stieglitz

Overview

Based on thousands of hours of marital counseling and witnessing the saving of hundreds of marriages, Gil Stieglitz says there are only five problems in marriage:

Ignoring needs

Immature behaviors

Clashing temperaments

Competing relationships

Past baggage.

Each of these problems is discussed in detail, along with antidotes, solutions, and self-tests to make the material helpful and accessible. Useful for personal study, for mentor-directed study, or as a guide for a class or lecture series, Marital Intelligence is the perfect tool to help restore marriages as God intended.

Product Details

ISBN-13:	9780884692652
Publisher:	BMH Books
Publication date:	02/16/2010
Product dimensions:	5.40(w) x 8.40(h) x 0.70(d)

Table of Contents

Acknowledgments i

How to Use this Book iii

Introduction: There Are Only Five Problems in Marriage 3

Problem #1 Ignoring Needs

Overview 9

Marital Intelligence Test 15

Becoming a Loving Husband 18

Honor 18

Understanding 19

Security 21

Building Unity 23

Agreement 25

Nurture 27

Defender 33

Becoming a Loving Wife 35

Respect 36

Adaptation 38

Domestic Leadership 40

Intimacy 42

Companionship 44

Attractive Soul and Body 46

Listening 48

Summary of the Problem of Ignoring Needs 52

Problem #2 Immature Behaviors

Overview 57

SAD Behaviors 60

Marital Intelligence Test 62

Typical Immature Behaviors 65

The Consequences of Immature Behaviors 79

Eight Solutions to Immature Behaviors 80

Solution #1 Stop Acting in Immature Ways 80

Solution #2 Make Real Apologies 81

Solution #3 Have Alignment Conversations 85

Solution #4 Thoughtful Requests 87

Solution #5 Add More Love 89

Solution #6 Change an Immature Behavior 91

Solution #7 Confrontational/Clarifying Conversation 94

Solution #8 Patience and a Change of Focus 96

Immature Behaviors Inventory 98

Summary of the Problem of Immature Behaviors 99

Problem #3 Clashing Temperaments

Overview 103

Marital Intelligence Test 107

Male and Female Characteristics 110

Temperament Assessments 118

Myers-Briggs Temperament Types 119

Four Ancient Temperament Types 126

Five Love Languages 131

Summary of the Problem of Clashing Temperaments 137

Problem #4 Competing Relationships

Overview 143

Marital Intelligence Test 147

Prioritized Relationships 150

The Big Three 155

Finances 155

Work/Career 162

Family/Children 166

Summary of the Problem of Competing Relationships 178

Problem #5 Past Baggage

Overview 183

Marital Intelligence Test: 185

Type 1 Victimization 188

Healing Abuse, Wounds, and Victimization 188

Steps to Forgiveness 191

Type 2 Family and Cultural Programming 203

Early Childhood Programming 205

Cultural Influences and Commandments 209

Type 3 Past Actions 213

Summary of the Problem of Past Baggage 220

Conclusion 225

Appendices

Appendix #1 Full Marital Intelligence Test 233

Appendix #2 Scoring the Full Marital Intelligence Test 245

Appendix #3 Recreational Companionship Ideas 247

End Notes 251

Bibliography 257