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Chapter One: Mars and Venus in the Workplace
Imagine that Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus. A long time ago, we got together, fell in love, and decided to live together on Earth.
At that time, we were really much different than we are today. Men nurtured the family by working outside the home and women nurtured the family by working inside the home. Venusians tended to be more relationship-oriented and Martians were more work-oriented. Together, yet in separate worlds, they formed harmonious partnerships. With this clear division of labor, they handled everything and lived happily ever after.
Gradually, the Venusians tired of just taking care of the family and wanted to work in the outside world and earn money like men. They felt constricted being dependent on their mates and wanted to be independent and autonomous as well. More and more, women at different stages of life were becoming involved in the process of earning a living by making a meaningful contribution in the workplace as well as at home or in their personal relationships.
In a similar manner, some Martians began to change. They started becoming more relationship-oriented. While women were wanting to get involved in developing careers outside the home, men were realizing there was more to life than just work. A quality home life with meaningful relationships was becoming as important and meaningful as success at work. Fathers were becoming more involved in the process of parenting.
Although this was a good and natural change, it triggeredenormous confusion, conflict, and frustration in workplace. To make matters worse, Martians and Venusians suffered selective amnesia. They forgot that men and women were supposed to be different and that the differences were good.
When differences come together in harmony, something much greater can be created.
As women began to enter the work world, our planets collided. Men did not respect women at work unless they behaved like men. Many women responded and sought to prove their equality by becoming just like men. To earn respect, to become like Martians, these women had to suppress their Venusian nature. This suppression caused unhappiness and resentment.
Other women in the workplace were not willing to suppress their feminine nature. They were not respected as equals by many Martians and struggled to support themselves. They were unfairly discriminated against and were sometimes viewed as inferior or incompetent to do a "man's job."
It was a no-win situation. Women who succeeded in the workplace were overly stressed by suppressing their female nature. Women who attempted to express their female nature in the workplace were not respected by male managers, coworkers, employees, customers and clients.
It was not just women who suffered. Some men were discriminated against as well. Those men who were becoming more relationship-oriented were losing the respect of Martians who were still more work-oriented.
Fortunately, this story has a happy ending. Some men and women were able to remember that men are from Mars and women are from Venus. They were able to respect the differences. These men and women thrived in the workplace and passed their insights on to others.
Women were finally able to understand how they were sabotaging their success by misunderstanding and misinterpreting men. Likewise, by understanding women better, men were able to not only respect women but broaden their perspective and gain valuable insight into being more productive while also improving the quality of life in the workplace. Women found the key to earning the respect of men without having to suppress their Venusian nature, and men learned to achieve greater success without having to work so hard.
With a greater respect for feminine values, men can learn to work less and achieve more.
Aware men achieved greater success with less effort by learning to create trust, thereby attracting support from the growing number of women in the workforce and in the consumer market. Men and women who could earn mutual respect and trust prospered more and experienced more personal fulfillment at home as well. They became role models and mentors for others. Once again everyone lived happily ever after.
Making Your Dreams Come True
Though this is just a story, it doesn't have to remain fiction. We all dream of a world in which there is respect, trust, justice, and prosperity. We want it for ourselves, our loved ones, and most importantly we want it for our children.
Every man today wants and deserves to achieve success without having to sacrifice a rich and fulfilling home life. Every woman wants and deserves the freedom to choose meaningful employment and to create financial independence without sacrificing a quality home life.
What husband does not want his wife to be treated fairly or be respected in the workplace? No wife ever wants her husband to come home exhausted and overworked, resenting that he has to sacrifice a personal life to achieve success. Every father wants his daughters to have the same opportunities for success that his sons have. What mother wants her son to burn out and overwork in order to achieve more?
Change is in the air. It is time for both men and women to experience the benefits of increased respect and trust in the workplace.
This sounds idealistic, but it is something we can begin to achieve. No government legislation or administrative policy handed down from above can make men and women respect and trust each other more. Respect and trust in the work world must be and can only be earned.
No government legislation can make men and women respect and trust each other more, it must be earned.
The historic increase in the number of women in the workplace presents an opportunity for making significant change. By gaining the respect of men, women have the power to influence the male-dominated work world to be better and more humane than it has ever been.
The new insights revealed in Mars and Venus in the...
Mars and Venus in the Workplace. Copyright © by Ph.D., John Gray. Reprinted by permission of HarperCollins Publishers, Inc. All rights reserved. Available now wherever books are sold.
