Menopause: A Self-Help Guide to Feeling Better

by Wendy Green

Overview

Do you think you might be going through the menopause? Are you confused by conflicting advice about HRT? Or are you unsure which natural alternatives are eff ective? In this easy-to-follow book, Wendy Green explains common physical and psychological symptoms and off ers a holistic approach to help you deal with them, including simple dietary and lifestyle changes and DIY complementary therapies. Find out 50 things you can do today to help you cope with the menopause, including:

• Ease hot flushes and reduce the risks associated with menopause

• Learn the truth about HRT and make informed choices

• Discover how to beat middle-age spread and look younger

• Find helpful organisations and products

Product Details

ISBN-13:	9781783727421
Publisher:	Summersdale
Publication date:	02/11/2016
Series:	Personal Health Guides
Sold by:	Barnes & Noble
Format:	eBook
Pages:	176
File size:	588 KB

About the Author

Wendy Green is a health project co-ordinator and health promoter and the author of a wide range of books in the Vie list ranging from 'Arthritis: A Self-Help Guide to Feeling Better' to 'The New Parents' Survival Guide: The First Three Months'.

Read an Excerpt

Menopause

A Self-Help Guide to Feeling Better

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By Wendy Green

Summersdale Publishers Ltd

Copyright © 2016 Wendy Green
All rights reserved.
ISBN: 978-1-78372-742-1

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CHAPTER 1

Mind Over Menopause

Your attitude towards the menopause can have a huge influence on how you cope with it, both physically and mentally. This is clear when you look at how women view the menopause in different cultures. For example, in China the menopause is seen as a natural part of ageing, with women there reporting fewer hot flushes. Seventy per cent of Malaysian women claim not to suffer from hot flushes, and many see the menopause as a blessing. Indian women generally view the menopause as a natural part of ageing, so they don't seek medical help. Kung women in South Africa look forward to the menopause because they enjoy higher status afterwards and don't even have a word for hot flush! These women's different experiences of the menopause may also be due to their different lifestyles – especially in terms of diet. For example, Japanese women consume a lot of soya products, which may explain why they report few menopausal symptoms.

In Westernised countries the menopause has been medicalised and turned into a deficiency disease, rather than a natural process that all women go through. That isn't to say that menopausal symptoms are imagined – most women suffer from at least some of the recognised symptoms to varying degrees. On the other hand, viewing it as an illness that requires treatment isn't helpful either. In Western culture the menopause has traditionally been viewed as a time of loss – the loss of hormones and fertility and often the loss of children as they grow up and leave home. But, back in the early 1990s, Germaine Greer offered a more positive viewpoint when she suggested that postmenopausal women could become the person they were before their lives were taken over by their biological urge to have babies. There now seems to be a growing shift in perspective. As one woman who recently set up a successful business in her fifties aptly put it, 'You get the freedom of your teenage years, but without the spots and nervousness ... you get the confidence to make things happen.'

1 Think positively

Though the menopause can cause some unpleasant symptoms, it's not an illness, but a natural process that all women go through. Focus on the positive aspects of the physical changes, such as freedom from periods and the need for contraception, and remember that all of the symptoms are temporary.

The singer Lulu commented that she'd tried HRT (see chapter 3) for a couple of months and then decided to try the 'alternative medicine route'. She added, 'I get hot flushes, of course, and I become emotional, but it's a kind of sweet thing when things really touch you, you know? It's heartwarming, like the heart opens up.' Perhaps she's lucky enough not to experience severe symptoms, but it may be that her positive attitude towards her life and her symptoms is helping too.

Brain change

According to American psychiatrist Dr Louann Brizendine, declining levels of oestrogen and progesterone affect the way women think before, during and after the menopause. Irregular hormone levels at the perimenopause lead to a corresponding fluctuation in mood, libido and sleep patterns, as well as hot flushes, anxiety and irritability.

The menopause is characterised by low oestrogen levels and little progesterone. Women in this phase, according to Brizendine, concentrate on their health and new challenges. Postmenopausal women have low, but steady, levels of oestrogen and testosterone and low oxytocin – the 'nurturing hormone' – which leaves them calmer, less emotional and less interested in caring for others. As a result, women at this stage may start to focus more on themselves and begin to develop new ideas and ambitions.

Social change

Brizendine's theories help to explain this new attitude to life among women 'of a certain age', but other factors are involved. For a start, female baby boomers – born in the post-war years between 1946 and 1964 – like their male counterparts, view themselves as more like their children than their parents or grandparents ever did. They're healthier and wealthier than previous generations, so they can look forward to a more active old age. They're also more rebellious and anti-establishment than their predecessors and have a reputation for refusing to grow old gracefully!

Feminism and equal opportunities legislation have also vastly increased opportunities for women – little wonder that many postmenopausal women are no longer content to sit at home and grow old. As women's life expectancy increases, many can look forward to living another two or three decades postmenopause. After spending years at home caring for children, many are deciding it's time to make their mark and resurrect their careers. As a result, unlike previous generations, postmenopausal women are financially independent and statistics show they're increasingly leaving husbands whose outlook on life differs vastly from their own.

Positive role models

An increasing number of celebrities aged 50 plus are also refusing to fade quietly into the background. 'Queen of Pop' Madonna, now in her late fifties, looks far younger – thanks to a strict diet and exercise regime. She's currently the highest-earning female singer in the world and her career continues to go from strength to strength. The Scottish singer Lulu, who is in her late sixties, recently spoke of hoping to 'age disgracefully' and shows no sign of slowing down, following the launch of her own skin care range. TV presenter Anne Robinson, who's now in her seventies, and still working, revealed the secrets of her continuing success when she remarked: 'For a woman to have longevity on televison you have got to be clever, versatile, funny – and thin.' Other celebrity role models include Helen Mirren, Joanna Lumley, Jane Seymour and Twiggy, to name but a few.

Build a positive self-image

To reach your goals, you need to believe that you're capable of achieving them. If you've spent the last couple of decades looking after a family and putting their needs before your own, you may find the idea of focussing on your own needs and trying new things a little scary – especially if your self-confidence is low.

What's your self-image like? Do you see yourself as a capable, intelligent and talented human-being, or do you lack the confidence to get what you want from life? Your self-image is based on your self-talk – the ongoing internal conversation you have with yourself. Your self-talk is based on the beliefs and opinions you've formed about yourself as a result of positive and negative experiences and feedback from others.

Positive self-talk leads to a positive self-image, which results in high self-esteem. High self-esteem gives you the confidence to go out and achieve your goals. If your self-talk is negative and you constantly tell yourself 'I can't', 'I'm no good at this', 'I've never been able to ...' your actions will reflect the negative self-image your thoughts create. If your self-talk is positive, as in 'I can' or 'I'm good at this', you'll act accordingly. As the life coach Fiona Harrold says in her book, Be Your Own Life Coach, 'Believe you can do anything you want and you will.'

Instant self-esteem

Make a list of ten things you've done or do well, e.g. 'I'm a good mother', 'Passing my driving test', 'I'm a fantastic cook', 'I'm brilliant at my job'. It could include the qualifications you've achieved, or positive aspects of your personality – like being thoughtful, or a good listener. In our culture, stating what you're good at is often viewed as boastfulness, so you may feel uncomfortable, but reminding yourself of your achievements and strengths is a sure-fire way of increasing your self-esteem. Whenever self-doubt creeps in, look at your list, or write a new one!

Affirm and achieve

'When you repeat affirmations over and over again, not only do subtle changes occur within you, altering the way you act and feel, but the world reacts to you in a more positive way.'

Susan Jeffers, Ph.D., author

An affirmation is a sentence that states your goal as though you've already achieved it. Repeating your affirmation again and again, until your subconscious mind believes it to be true, enables you to achieve your dreams by changing your self-talk.

An affirmation needs to be personal, so include the word 'I'. It must be positive, so describe what you want to achieve rather than what you don't. Use words that suggest achievement, such as 'I am', 'I have' or 'I do'. How will you feel when you've achieved your goal? Happy? Calm? Excited? Thrilled? Elated? Attaching positive emotions to your goal will make it seem more real and achievable. You'll also see results more quickly. Writing your affirmation as if it's happening now will make it far more effective. Make your affirmation specific: how and when will you achieve it? Finally, make it realistic: can you see yourself achieving it? For example, if your goal is 'to exercise regularly', a good affirmation that incorporates all of these points would be: 'I enjoy walking briskly for half an hour every day, between 6 p.m. and 6.30 p.m. – I feel healthy and energetic.' If your goal is 'to lose weight' your affirmation might be: 'It's Christmas Day – I now weigh 9 stone because I eat healthily, and I love shopping for size 12 clothes.'

Read, see, feel and hear your goal

To fix your affirmation in your subconscious mind, read it first. Then close your eyes and visualise the scene your words paint. Imagine yourself experiencing your goal in detail. Feel the emotions you've linked to your goal. Hear the words your family and friends will use to compliment you when you achieve it. Reading, picturing, feeling and hearing your affirmation has a strong effect on your subconscious mind.

Your subconscious mind can't tell the difference between what happens in reality and what's taken place in your imagination. If you regularly focus on your affirmations, you'll find yourself acting in a way that supports your new self-image. So, if you affirm that you exercise regularly, you'll take more exercise. If you affirm you've lost weight, you'll adopt the diet and exercise habits of a slim person.

2 Take time for things you enjoy

'It is never too late to be what you might have been.'

George Eliot, novelist

Living life to the full isn't just for the privileged few. You can do it too. Avoid the 'empty nest' syndrome if you have children and they leave home by making the most of your new-found freedom. Make the most of the positive physical and psychological changes the menopause brings. Focus on your career. Cultivate new hobbies and interests. View this life stage as a time for personal growth. Do the things you didn't have time for whilst raising your family.

Dare to dream

Deciding what you want to do with your life and setting goals helps you make your dreams a reality. Whether you want to travel the world, learn how to salsa or set up your own business, you first need to identify what you want to achieve.

Think about what you enjoy doing, or would like to try. What were your strengths at school? Is there anything you love doing so much, you'd do it regardless of the financial rewards? Be true to yourself and you'll rediscover what you really want. Imagine leading a life you love, rather than one you feel you should. What job would you do? What would your interests be? What sort of friends would you choose? Use your answers to these questions to help you identify your goals. In her book, Making the Big Leap, life coach Suzy Greaves comments, 'To live a different kind of life, you have to start living by your own rules and rediscover what you want for yourself.'

Don't feel guilty about spending time doing the things you love. If you have spent your life putting the needs of others before your own, you may find this hard. But remember: the happier and more fulfilled you are, the nicer you are to be around.

3 Beat the blues

Depression is one of the symptoms linked to the menopause, especially if you view the menopause negatively. You can help lift your depression by adopting a more positive attitude.

Fluctuating hormone levels can have an effect on your mood. Coping with menopausal symptoms such as flushes and insomnia can also contribute, so it's important to deal with these symptoms first.

Depression is often linked to repressed anger about something going on in your life. Just sitting and writing down who, or what, you're angry about often helps. Acknowledging and expressing your anger paves the way for you to work out what you need to do to prevent or deal with similar situations in the future. For example, you may need to practise the assertiveness skills outlined further on in this chapter.

Sometimes depression stems from general unhappiness with a situation in your life. It could be your job, a relationship or some other aspect of your life. By identifying what it is that isn't working and is causing you unhappiness, you can begin to consider the changes you could make to improve things. For example, could you cut the hours you work, or retrain for a new career? Could you breathe new life into your relationship, or is it time to move on? If you're unsure, seeing a Relate counsellor may help you to decide. You can find the contact details for Relate in the directory at the end of the book.

Treat yourself more kindly

To combat the short-term blues, treat yourself more kindly, allow yourself to cry and talk about your feelings to someone you can trust. Do something you enjoy, even if it's just taking a scented bath, reading a novel by your favourite author or playing your favourite music – anything that reminds you that life can be pleasurable will help. Try to follow a healthy lifestyle. In particular, make sure you get out in daylight as much as possible. This will help you avoid suffering from seasonal affective disorder, which is caused by a lack of sunshine and happens largely in the winter months.

It's important to remember that no one is happy all of the time. Unhappiness is an inevitable part of life – according to experts it's only an illness when it lasts longer than a week or two and seriously affects your ability to lead a normal life. This is when you should consider visiting your GP. Supplements such as cod liver oil, St John's wort and 5-HTP have been shown to be effective in treating mild to moderate depression (see chapter 4 for details, plus information on mood-boosting foods).

Happiness booster

Psychologists argue that happiness isn't dependent on material wealth or success; as a nation we are richer than ever – but we aren't any happier. In surveys, fewer people describe themselves as being happy than a few decades ago. It would seem that taking the time to appreciate what we've already got, rather than hankering after the things we don't have, can make us feel instantly happier. So try reminding yourself of at least five things you should be thankful for, every day. Most of us have a lot to be grateful for, but we rarely acknowledge the fact. Family and friends, good health, sufficient food, a nice home ... the list is endless!

4 Turn to others for help

Some women find they have extra responsibilities at the time when they are going through the menopause – they may still help their grown-up children financially, plus the added burdens of caring for grandchildren and elderly, possibly unwell, parents and in-laws. If you're experiencing financial problems, perhaps as a result of assisting other family members financially, being a carer, or unemployment, there are agencies that can help, such as the Citizen's Advice Bureau and the National Debtline. If you feel family demands are impacting on your mental health, consider ways you could share tasks. Are there other family members that could shoulder more responsibility? If you feel uncomfortable about asking others for help, try using the assertiveness techniques mentioned near the end of this chapter.

If others are unable or unwilling to help or there's no one else to turn to, there are organisations that can offer support and advice, such as The Princess Royal Trust for Carers, which can also put you in touch with your nearest support group. Elderly Parents is another organisation that may be able to help with the problems associated with caring for ageing parents. Your local social services offer support and advice to carers, as well as home, day and residential care services. You can contact them to ask for a needs assessment for both yourself and the person you care for.

Social network

Make time to see family and friends regularly. There's evidence that people who have a good social network enjoy better mental health than those who don't, probably because they're more likely to have people they can confide in when they have problems. This is especially important if you live alone.

If you don't have anyone you can confide in, your GP may refer you to a qualified counsellor. The Samaritans are available at any time of day or night to listen to your problems and, if necessary, signpost you to appropriate agencies. Mind also offers various forms of support including counselling, befriending and advocacy. If you've recently been bereaved, Cruse Bereavement Care offers support, information and advice to help you cope with your loss. You can find further information and the contact details for all of the organisations I've mentioned in the directory at the end of this book.

(Continues...)

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Excerpted from Menopause by Wendy Green. Copyright © 2016 Wendy Green. Excerpted by permission of Summersdale Publishers Ltd.
All rights reserved. No part of this excerpt may be reproduced or reprinted without permission in writing from the publisher.
Excerpts are provided by Dial-A-Book Inc. solely for the personal use of visitors to this web site.

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Table of Contents

Contents

Cover,
Title Page,
Copyright,
Dedication,
Acknowledgements,
Author's Note,
Foreword by Janet Brockie, menopause nurse specialist, John Radcliffe Hospital, Oxford,
Introduction,
Chapter 1 – Mind Over Menopause,
Chapter 2 – Beat the Heat,
Chapter 3 – To HRT, or Not to HRT?,
Chapter 4 – Natural HRT,
Chapter 5 – More Hints for a Healthier Menopause,
Chapter 6 – DIY Complementary Therapies,
Chapter 7 – Look Younger,
Recipes,
Jargon Buster,
Useful Products,
Helpful Books,
Directory,