Mindful Discipline: A Loving Approach to Setting Limits and Raising an Emotionally Intelligent Child

by Shauna Shapiro, Chris White, Christine Carter (Foreword by), Dean Ornish (Foreword by)

Overview

Raising happy, compassionate, and responsible children requires both love and limits. In Mindful Discipline, internationally recognized mindfulness expert Shauna Shapiro and pediatrician Chris White weave together ancient wisdom and modern science to provide new perspectives on parenting and discipline.

Grounded in mindfulness and neuroscience, this pioneering book redefines discipline and outlines the five essential elements necessary for children to thrive: unconditional love, space for children to be themselves, mentorship, healthy boundaries, and mis-takes that create learning and growth opportunities. In this book, you will also discover parenting practices such as setting limits with love, working with difficult emotions, and forgiveness and compassion meditations that place discipline within a context of mindfulness. This relationship-centered approach will restore your confidence as a parent and support your children in developing emotional intelligence, self-discipline, and resilience—qualities they need for living an authentic and meaningful life.

Product Details

ISBN-13:	9781608828869
Publisher:	New Harbinger Publications
Publication date:	06/01/2014
Sold by:	Barnes & Noble
Format:	eBook
Pages:	200
File size:	2 MB

About the Author

Shauna Shapiro, PhD, is a professor at Santa Clara University, a clinical psychologist, an internationally recognized expert in mindfulness, and a mother. With twenty years of meditation experience studying in Thailand and Nepal, as well as in the West, Shapiro brings an embodied sense of mindfulness to her scientific work. She has published over one hundred journal articles and chapters, and coauthored the critically acclaimed book, The Art and Science of Mindfulness. Shapiro is the recipient of the American Council of Learned Societies teaching award, acknowledging her outstanding contributions to education, and has been invited to lecture for the King of Thailand, the Danish government, and the World Council for Psychotherapy in Beijing, China. Her work has been featured in Wired, USA Today, Oxygen, The Yoga Journal, and the American Psychologist. Shapiro lives in Mill Valley, California, with her eight-year-old son, Jackson.
 
Chris White, MD, is a board-certified pediatrician, parent educator, certified life coach, and father. He is the creator and director of Essential Parenting, an organization that supports the psycho-emotional development of children and their parents. His writing has been featured in Pathways to Family Wellness and the PBS series’ This Emotional Life blog. White lives with his two boys, Kai and Bodhi, and the love of his life, Kari, in the San Francisco Bay Area.

Foreword writer Christine Carter, PhD, is a happiness expert, sociologist, and the author of Raising Happiness: 10 Simple Steps for More Joyful Kids and Happier Parents. Carter has helped thousands of people find more joy in their lives through her books, online classes, coaching, and speaking engagements. She teaches happiness classes online throughout the year to a global audience on her website www.christinecarter.com.

Foreword writer Dean Ornish, MD, is the founder and president of the non-profit Preventive Medicine Research Institute and clinical professor of medicine at the University of California, San Francisco. Ornish received his MD from the Baylor College of Medicine, was a clinical fellow in medicine at Harvard Medical School, and completed an internship and residency in internal medicine at the Massachusetts General Hospital. He is the author of six books, all national bestsellers, including: Dr. Dean Ornish's Program for Reversing Heart Disease; Eat More, Weigh Less; Love and Survival; and his most recent book, The Spectrum.
Foreword writer Christine Carter, PhD, is a happiness expert, sociologist, and the author of Raising Happiness: 10 Simple Steps for More Joyful Kidsand Happier Parents. Carter has helped thousands of people find more joy in their lives through her books, online classes, coaching, and speaking engagements. She teaches happiness classes online throughout the year to a global audience on her website www.christinecarter.com. Her blog is syndicated on the Huffington Post and Psychology Today.

Table of Contents

Foreword Dean Ornish vii

Foreword Christine Carter xi

Acknowledgments xiii

Part 1 A Discipline We Can Feel Proud Of

Introduction 3

1 Why Discipline Matters 13

The Key to a Healthy Mind and a Fulfilling Life

2 How Self-Discipline Develops 23

Growing From Impulses to Judgments to Authenticity

3 Mindfulness 37

Nourishment for Life and Parenting

4 The Mindful Discipline Approach 49

Transmitting Self-Discipline

5 Relationship 67

The Source of Nourishment

Part 2 The Five Essential Elements of Mindful Discipline

6 Unconditional Love 85

Preserving Trust and Inherent Value

7 Space 103

Supporting Autonomy, Competence, and Responsibility

8 Mentorship 119

Promoting Healthy Habits, Strong Values, and Emotional Intelligence

9 Healthy Boundaries 137

Encouraging Impulse Control and Adaptability

10 Mis-Takes 157

The Gifts of Compassion, Humility, and Forgiveness

11 The Heart of Maturity 175

How Emotional Intelligence and Resilience Are Grown

12 Epilogue 185

Appendices

A Discipline and the Brain 189

B The Basics of Attachment 191

C Qualities and Capacities of a Healthy, Self-Disciplined Individual 195

D The Promise and Perils of Praise 197

Suggested Reading 201

References 203

Interviews

Shapiro lives in Mill Valley, CA; White lives in the greater San Francisco Bay Area.

Editorial Reviews

03/17/2014
Using the word “discipline” to mean self-regulation in alignment with personal values, this gentle handbook teaches parents Buddhist-style practices of mindfulness as a basis to access their own wisdom and meet their children’s needs with the right mix of love and limits. Clinical psychologist Shapiro (The Art and Science of Mindfulness) and pediatrician White see the process of parenting as having five essential elements: the yin factors of unconditional love and space to build autonomy and competence balance the yang factors of mentorship and healthy boundaries, and the lessons in humility and forgiveness that come from our “mistakes.” Breaking from their calm tone, the authors criticize both authoritarian and permissive parenting approaches as unhealthy, in contrast to their preferred “authoritative” approach, which gives children clear limits and hierarchy, but as containers that make them feel receptive and safe rather than as tools of control. Though oversimplified descriptions of the physiology behind feelings of safety and fear prove distracting, Shapiro and White’s commitment to balanced parenting gives readers motivation to become strong role models. (June)

Publishers Weekly

“Mindful Discipline is an intelligent and creative approach to the omnipresent challenge of parenting:how to be kind and loving yet firm and in control.I was struck by the multiple levels of authority the authors drew upon: deep scholarship, personal struggles with parenting, and hard-earned meditative insight.”
—Fred Luskin, PhD, director of the Stanford Forgiveness Project and author of Forgive for Good

“Mindful Discipline is the perfect guide for conscious parents and teachers. Grounded in solid neuroscience, it shows how to be loving and remain centered, while teaching children to develop their own internal wisdom and good hearts. This book is a gift!”
—James Baraz, cofounder of Spirit Rock Meditation Center and coauthor of Awakening Joy: 10 Steps to Happiness

From the Publisher

★ 04/01/2014
Mindfulness expert Shapiro and pediatrician White describe a holistic system in which parents improve their child's behavior and promote cooperation while at the same time fostering motivation, emotional intelligence, self-esteem, and resilience. The authors offer five elements of mindful discipline: unconditional love, space for children to be themselves, mentorship and transfer of values, and the admission of one's own mistakes. The carefulness edge takes place, the authors say, when parents develop their own self-awareness and can adopt their child's perspective. This enables the child to choose the best course of action based on the competing needs of the moment, instead of their own history. VERDICT Combining parenting skills with the practice of mindfulness is genius. Essential for anyone raising a family.

Library Journal