My Parent Has Cancer and It Really Sucks

Real-life advice from real-life teens

Currently one million American teenagers live with a parent who is fighting cancer. It's a hard blow for those already navigating high school, preparing for college, and becoming increasingly independent. My Parent Has Cancer and It Really Sucks is the first book written especially for teens to help during this tough time.


Author Maya Silver was 15 when her mom was diagnosed with breast cancer in 2001. She and her dad, Marc, have combined their family's personal experience with advice from dozens of medical professionals and real stories from 100 teens--all going through the same thing Maya did.


In a highly designed, engaging style, this book gives practical guidance that includes:

• how to talk about the diagnosis (and what does diagnosis even mean, anyway?)

• the best outlets for stress (punching a wall is not a great one, but should it happen, there are instructions for a patch job)

• how to deal with friends (especially one the ones with 'pity eyes')

• whether to tell the teachers and guidance counselors and what they should know (how not to get embarrassed in class)

• what happens in a therapy session and how to find a support group if you want one


A special section for parents also gives tips on strategies for sharing the news, making sure your child doesn't become the parent, what to do if the outlook is grim, and tips for how to live life after cancer.


My Parent Has Cancer and It Really Sucks allows teens to see that they are not alone. That no matter how rough things get, they will get through this difficult time. That everything they're feeling is ok. Essays from Gilda Radner's "Gilda's Club" annual contest are an especially poignant and moving testimony of how other teens dealt with their family's situation.


PRAISE FOR MY PARENT HAS CANCER AND IT REALLY SUCKS


"Wisely crafted into a wonderfully warm, engaging and informative book that reads like a chat with a group of friends with helpful advice from the experts."

Paula K. Rauch MD, Director of the Marjorie E. Korff Parenting At a Challenging Time Program


"A must read for parents, kids, teachers and medical staff who know anyone with cancer. You will learn something on every page."

Anna Gottlieb, MPA, Founder and CEO Gilda's Club Seattle


"This book is a 'must have' for oncologists, cancer treatment centers and families with teenagers."

Kathleen McCue, MA, LSW, CCLS, Director of the Children's Program at The Gathering Place, Cleveland, OH


"My Parent Has Cancer and It Really Sucks provides a much-needed toolkit for teens coping with a parent's cancer. In this honest and heart-felt guide, Marc Silver and his daughter, Maya, present direct, no-nonsense and helpful advice."

Jane Saccaro, CEO of Camp Kesem, a camp for children who have a parent with cancer


"Marc and Maya Silver have skillfully blended the voices of teens, parents and experts...This book is knowing, pragmatic, and attuned to the challenges of growing into one's self while having to attend to a parent's needs."

Barry J. Jacobs, Psy.D., clinical psychologist and author of The Emotional Survival Guide for Caregivers


"A valuable resource for teenagers and their families."

Seth Berkowitz, LCSW, CCLS, Patient Services Manager, Southern Florida Chapter of The Leukemia & Lymphoma Society

1112689767
My Parent Has Cancer and It Really Sucks

Real-life advice from real-life teens

Currently one million American teenagers live with a parent who is fighting cancer. It's a hard blow for those already navigating high school, preparing for college, and becoming increasingly independent. My Parent Has Cancer and It Really Sucks is the first book written especially for teens to help during this tough time.


Author Maya Silver was 15 when her mom was diagnosed with breast cancer in 2001. She and her dad, Marc, have combined their family's personal experience with advice from dozens of medical professionals and real stories from 100 teens--all going through the same thing Maya did.


In a highly designed, engaging style, this book gives practical guidance that includes:

• how to talk about the diagnosis (and what does diagnosis even mean, anyway?)

• the best outlets for stress (punching a wall is not a great one, but should it happen, there are instructions for a patch job)

• how to deal with friends (especially one the ones with 'pity eyes')

• whether to tell the teachers and guidance counselors and what they should know (how not to get embarrassed in class)

• what happens in a therapy session and how to find a support group if you want one


A special section for parents also gives tips on strategies for sharing the news, making sure your child doesn't become the parent, what to do if the outlook is grim, and tips for how to live life after cancer.


My Parent Has Cancer and It Really Sucks allows teens to see that they are not alone. That no matter how rough things get, they will get through this difficult time. That everything they're feeling is ok. Essays from Gilda Radner's "Gilda's Club" annual contest are an especially poignant and moving testimony of how other teens dealt with their family's situation.


PRAISE FOR MY PARENT HAS CANCER AND IT REALLY SUCKS


"Wisely crafted into a wonderfully warm, engaging and informative book that reads like a chat with a group of friends with helpful advice from the experts."

Paula K. Rauch MD, Director of the Marjorie E. Korff Parenting At a Challenging Time Program


"A must read for parents, kids, teachers and medical staff who know anyone with cancer. You will learn something on every page."

Anna Gottlieb, MPA, Founder and CEO Gilda's Club Seattle


"This book is a 'must have' for oncologists, cancer treatment centers and families with teenagers."

Kathleen McCue, MA, LSW, CCLS, Director of the Children's Program at The Gathering Place, Cleveland, OH


"My Parent Has Cancer and It Really Sucks provides a much-needed toolkit for teens coping with a parent's cancer. In this honest and heart-felt guide, Marc Silver and his daughter, Maya, present direct, no-nonsense and helpful advice."

Jane Saccaro, CEO of Camp Kesem, a camp for children who have a parent with cancer


"Marc and Maya Silver have skillfully blended the voices of teens, parents and experts...This book is knowing, pragmatic, and attuned to the challenges of growing into one's self while having to attend to a parent's needs."

Barry J. Jacobs, Psy.D., clinical psychologist and author of The Emotional Survival Guide for Caregivers


"A valuable resource for teenagers and their families."

Seth Berkowitz, LCSW, CCLS, Patient Services Manager, Southern Florida Chapter of The Leukemia & Lymphoma Society

8.99 In Stock
My Parent Has Cancer and It Really Sucks

My Parent Has Cancer and It Really Sucks

My Parent Has Cancer and It Really Sucks

My Parent Has Cancer and It Really Sucks

eBook

$8.99  $14.99 Save 40% Current price is $8.99, Original price is $14.99. You Save 40%.

Available on Compatible NOOK devices, the free NOOK App and in My Digital Library.
WANT A NOOK?  Explore Now

Related collections and offers


Overview

Real-life advice from real-life teens

Currently one million American teenagers live with a parent who is fighting cancer. It's a hard blow for those already navigating high school, preparing for college, and becoming increasingly independent. My Parent Has Cancer and It Really Sucks is the first book written especially for teens to help during this tough time.


Author Maya Silver was 15 when her mom was diagnosed with breast cancer in 2001. She and her dad, Marc, have combined their family's personal experience with advice from dozens of medical professionals and real stories from 100 teens--all going through the same thing Maya did.


In a highly designed, engaging style, this book gives practical guidance that includes:

• how to talk about the diagnosis (and what does diagnosis even mean, anyway?)

• the best outlets for stress (punching a wall is not a great one, but should it happen, there are instructions for a patch job)

• how to deal with friends (especially one the ones with 'pity eyes')

• whether to tell the teachers and guidance counselors and what they should know (how not to get embarrassed in class)

• what happens in a therapy session and how to find a support group if you want one


A special section for parents also gives tips on strategies for sharing the news, making sure your child doesn't become the parent, what to do if the outlook is grim, and tips for how to live life after cancer.


My Parent Has Cancer and It Really Sucks allows teens to see that they are not alone. That no matter how rough things get, they will get through this difficult time. That everything they're feeling is ok. Essays from Gilda Radner's "Gilda's Club" annual contest are an especially poignant and moving testimony of how other teens dealt with their family's situation.


PRAISE FOR MY PARENT HAS CANCER AND IT REALLY SUCKS


"Wisely crafted into a wonderfully warm, engaging and informative book that reads like a chat with a group of friends with helpful advice from the experts."

Paula K. Rauch MD, Director of the Marjorie E. Korff Parenting At a Challenging Time Program


"A must read for parents, kids, teachers and medical staff who know anyone with cancer. You will learn something on every page."

Anna Gottlieb, MPA, Founder and CEO Gilda's Club Seattle


"This book is a 'must have' for oncologists, cancer treatment centers and families with teenagers."

Kathleen McCue, MA, LSW, CCLS, Director of the Children's Program at The Gathering Place, Cleveland, OH


"My Parent Has Cancer and It Really Sucks provides a much-needed toolkit for teens coping with a parent's cancer. In this honest and heart-felt guide, Marc Silver and his daughter, Maya, present direct, no-nonsense and helpful advice."

Jane Saccaro, CEO of Camp Kesem, a camp for children who have a parent with cancer


"Marc and Maya Silver have skillfully blended the voices of teens, parents and experts...This book is knowing, pragmatic, and attuned to the challenges of growing into one's self while having to attend to a parent's needs."

Barry J. Jacobs, Psy.D., clinical psychologist and author of The Emotional Survival Guide for Caregivers


"A valuable resource for teenagers and their families."

Seth Berkowitz, LCSW, CCLS, Patient Services Manager, Southern Florida Chapter of The Leukemia & Lymphoma Society


Product Details

ISBN-13: 9781402273087
Publisher: Sourcebooks, Incorporated
Publication date: 03/05/2013
Sold by: Barnes & Noble
Format: eBook
Pages: 272
File size: 959 KB
Age Range: 12 - 17 Years

About the Author

Maya Silver lives in Crested Butte, CO, where she works at the Office for Resource Efficiency. She won the Diane Vreuls Fiction Prize at Oberlin College in 2008 and has contributed to U.S. News & World Report and Washington Post Express.

Marc Silver is the author of Breast Cancer Husband. He is currently deputy editor for text at National Geographic magazine and lives in Baltimore, Maryland.

Read an Excerpt

From the Introduction:


We hope that the voices in this book create a community
of support to give you strength as you deal with your parent's
cancer. Because if you can learn from the 20/20 hindsight and
mistakes of others who've been there, you'll be better prepared
to handle the situations you will encounter.



A parent's cancer is uncharted territory, and the uncertainty
about what's happening and what's next can be
nerve-racking.
"Among the things I wish I was told with
more clarity is: here's what your mom's going to be going
through, here's what you need to do, what you need to be
aware of..." said Aaron, who was a teen when his mom had
breast cancer. This book doesn't have all the answers, but it
will provide you with an idea of what might be going on-and
how to get the information you need if your parents
aren't good communicators.



One of the most important things we learned from interviewing
so many teens--and
one of the themes of this guide--is
that everyone deals with their parent's cancer differently.
Some people cope just fine. Others have a very hard time.
A lot depends on the nature of the diagnosis. Is your parent
facing a cancer that has a good treatment success rate? Or is
the cancer a difficult one to treat?



Your reaction also depends on you. Personalities differ.
Some teens want lots and lots of information. Others want the bare minimum. Some worry a great deal. Others feel confident
that everything will be okay. Some lose their focus at school
and see grades slip. Others hyper-focus
on keeping grades up.
Some want to talk about it all. Others don't. And that's okay.



One thing we can all agree on, though, is that cancer sucks.
For everyone involved. We hope this book will help you cope
in the months and years ahead.



As hard as times may get, you will make it through. Take it
from Bailee Richardson, who was twelve when her mom was
diagnosed: "Stay strong. Everything's going to work itself out
in the end. Don't ever let it get the best of you."



Finally, here are two rules for this book:



Rule 1: Teens, don't feel guilty. You have your own way of
coping, and you don't have to behave like any other
teen in this book.



Rule 2: Parents, do not use the book to make your teen talk
if he or she doesn't want to talk.



Read on!

Table of Contents

CONTENTS


Introduction


Chapter 1 THE NEWS


1.1 A Hunch


1.2 Why Your Parents Told You the Way They Did


1.3 Why You Reacted the Way You Did


1.4 A Charged Word


Chapter 2 CANCER 101


2.1 The Big Question Marks


2.2 Treatments and Their Side Effects


2.3 The Cure: Why Isn't There One Yet?


2.4 True or False


2.5 Tell Me More!


Chapter 3 LET'S TALK: HOW TO KEEP YOUR FAMILY COMMUNICATION LINES WIDE OPEN


3.1 How Much Do You Want to Know?


3.2 What If You're Out of the Loop?


3.3 Reality Check: How Far in the Know Can You Go?


3.4 How to Keep Talking...Even If It's in Writing


Chapter 4 HOW THINGS WILL CHANGE DURING CANCER


4.1 Teenage Change Is Normal!


4.2 Cancer Sneaking Up on You


4.3 Changes to Expect


4.4 Changes in Your Parent


4.5 Siblings


Chapter 5 PARENTIFICATION


5.1 How It Happens


5.2 Catching a Break


5.3 Silence Isn't Golden


5.4 The Big Picture


Chapter 6 DEALING WITH STRESS


6.1 How to Beat the Cancer Blues


6.2 Exploring the Options


Chapter 7 RISKY BUSINESS


7.1 Former Bad Boys: Gary and Jose Turn It Around


7.2 Former Bad Girls: True Confessions


Chapter 8 THE POWER (AND THE LIMITS) OF OPTIMISM AND FAITH


8.1 Think Positive


8.2 Faith and Spirituality


Chapter 9 THE BENEFIT OF FRIENDS


9.1 What You Do (and Don't) Want from Your Friends


9.2 Girls Are from Mercury, Boys Are from Neptune


9.3 Accepting Help


9.4 Have Fun with Your Friends If You Can


9.5 But Can They Still Come Over?


9.6 Social Networks: Facebook, Twitter, Blogs, and More


9.7 Dealing with Friend Problems


9.8 New Friends


Chapter 10 SCHOOL DAZE


10.1 School = More Stress or a Place to Escape?


10.2 To Announce or Not to Announce


10.3 Telling the School


10.4 How the School Can Help


10.5 Dilemmas, Dilemmas


10.6 Keeping Grades Up


10.7 The Need to Achieve


10.8 Pulling a Bueller


Chapter 11 SEEKING SUPPORT


11.1 The Adult Who Knows You


11.2 Seeing a Therapist


11.3 Group Support


Chapter 12 FACING A DIRE PROGNOSIS


12.1 Facing the News


12.2 How Long Do We Have?


12.3 When the Bad News Isn't All Bad


12.4 Finding Hope When Things Seem Hopeless


12.5 Living for the Moment


12.6 A Different Kind of Hope


12.7 What If You Feel Closer to the Parent with Cancer?


12.8 Avoidance


12.9 Making Memories


Chapter 13 LOSING A PARENT TO CANCER


13.1 A Dictionary of Emotions


13.2 Mourning Doesn't Come with an Expiration Date


13.3 All Kinds of Questions


13.4 Life Goes On


13.5 Dealing with Your Emotions


13.6 School Can Be a Comfort...or a Pain


13.7 Music Can Make It Better


13.8 Staying Connected


Chapter 14 THE NEW NORMAL: LIFE AFTER CANCER


14.1 What Happens Now?


14.2 New Normal Hiccups and Surprises


14.3 Struggling in the Aftermath


14.4 Becoming an Activist


14.5 Same Old You


14.6 Silver Linings


Appendix A THE CAMP FOR KIDS COPING WITH A PARENT'S CANCER


Appendix B IN THEIR OWN WORDS


Appendix C THE PARENTS' GUIDE


Appendix D RESOURCES


Acknowledgments


About the Authors


From the B&N Reads Blog

Customer Reviews