Table of Contents
The Last Chapter 1
Reflecting on the end of the beginning
Kids In Dunston 2
Exploring dangerous places
The Driving Test 4
The harrowing adventures of the road test
Tour Bus 7
Not your father's tour bus story
Rovers and Rollers 9
Dead or alive, you will be driven in style
Cliff Williams 11
Occupation: World's Best Rock 'n' Roll Bass Player
Beauty and the Beast 14
If Hell were a vacation, this would be it
The Hummer and the Schwarzenegger 16
AC/DC, an Austrian, a music video, and a rather large vehicle
Lotus Cortina Mkl 18
How to crash your first race car
From Bedfords to Bedknobs 20
Building a car with a headboard
The Wolseley 22
My first love
Grand National 25
The race that stopped a country
The Bulldog and the Chick 26
When an old Brit shags a beautiful Italian
The Bsa Bantam 28
The opposite of a chick magnet
A Lovely Story 30
How not to order room service
The E-Type Penis Extension 31
Too hot to run
The Pilbeam 33
A lot more tit for your bang
TVR 38
Two seats and a shelf
The Mini 39
The Beatles of cars
Phil Rudd 41
Occupation: World's Best Drummer
Sebring 44
"Does Rose Kennedy have a black dress?"
My Dad and Mam 48
Trying to repay a debt
Popular 50
King of the road
The Isle of Man 51
Escaping the tax man
Reckless on the Airbus 320 52
"What the fuck are you doing?"
Land Rover LRs 54
Cheering up Cliff
Road Trip 55
Drive this
Brendan Healey 58
Drinking fractionally
Crackerjack 61
It all starts with the toys
Take a Backseat 63
"Don't be shy, your mother wasn't."
The Phantom 65
The black velvet humpback whale
My First Race Meet 68
Finding the Autodrome
Austin A35 72
A smiling pregnant snail
Malcolm Young 75
Occupation: Worlds Greatest Riffmeister
Günther 77
If a marine were on steroids and driving
My Brother, Maurice 79
Car rats in arms
Angus Young 82
Occupation: Devilish Imp Schoolboy Guitarist
Cars and Music 84
You can't have one without the other
Tour Bus Tippy-Toe 86
Taking on the mentally challenged moral minority
Marital Blues 1968 89
Riding shotgun
Jerry Wexler (Rock in Peace) 90
Rhythm and blues and Saabs
Tour Bus II 92
"No shitting allowed. Shagging expected."
The Things You Do For Vans 94
Parachute jumping ain't fun
Car Porn 96
Make sure the door's locked
Lots of Trouble, Usually Serious 101
What L-O-T-U-S really stands for
Paul Newman 104
Gentleman of the track
Pimp My Ride Rant 106
Making beautiful cars awful
Awesome Bill From Dawsonville 108
How moonshine made race cars
The Greats 111
Are they drivers or gods?
The Bounder Unleashed 114
Too huge to drive
Moscow 1991 118
Playing the sound of freedom for a million people
Alligator Alley 121
Home is where the alligators are
Teacake 123
Handicapped cars are dangerous
The Italian Job 125
Death and destruction
La Dolce Vita 123
How Italy changes you
Aston Martin Zagato 132
When a Renzo marries a Zagato
Citroënds 135
"Right, I'm up and I'm staying up until I get a shag."
Hurley Haywood 138
Keeping your head horizontal
The Memphis Belle 140
The noise that will live with me forever
Concorde 142
Sitting on top of Mount Vesuvius
The Anal Intruder 145
The terrorizing of AC/DC
Accident-Prone 147
Unsafe driving
James Dean 149
Were directors shagging him?
Cars On Film 150
The movies that get it right
Donald "Duck" Dunn 154
The Blues Brother
Notes From the Front Line: Wilkes-Barre 155
The Godfather of Music transportation 157
The kind of car royalties get you
Geordie Defty 159
Stilletoed shagger
The Tyne Tunnel 161
She crosses her legs so you can't get out
Brands Hatch 183
Supergluing your ass to the wall
Haggis 165
What happens when you microwave it
The Biggest Winning margin Ever 187
From Peking to Paris
Notes From the Frontline: Minneapolis 169
Scientologist Dave 170
A spooky fuck
Harley-Davidson 172
What you find in Australia
Notes From the Front Line: Toronto 174
Derek "Deke" Rootham 175
Peeing in a pint glass
David Whittaker 178
Tighter than a fish's arse
The Unreality of the Race 177
Why reality television sucks
Geordie 184
Starting a band in a lousy year
Fiat 500 188
A cautionary tale
Jaguar 2.8 MK2 187
Owning a car you can't afford
Windshields 189
A career born
The Dog's Dangly Bits 193
How to pass time on the road
Lincoln Continental 195
Safe operating speed: O
The Benefits of Driving in France 198
Siamese twins walk into a pub
Sexy French Cars 197
I'm-French-and-fuck-you attitude
Porsche Twin Turbo 199
Smoking is dangerous foryour car
Historic Racing Machines 202
When it's magic time
Notes From the Front Line: Atlanta 203
North-East Vinyls and Ac/Dc 204
The two career choices and what I chose
The End 209
The end
