Sex at Dawn: How We Mate, Why We Stray, and What It Means for Modern Relationships

Since Darwin's day, we've been told that sexual monogamy comes naturally to our species. Mainstream science—as well as religious and cultural institutions—has maintained that men and women evolved in families in which a man's possessions and protection were exchanged for a woman's fertility and fidelity. But this narrative is collapsing. Fewer and fewer couples are getting married, and divorce rates keep climbing as adultery and flagging libido drag down even seemingly solid marriages.

How can reality be reconciled with the accepted narrative? It can't be, according to renegade thinkers Christopher Ryan and Cacilda Jethå. While debunking almost everything we "know" about sex, they offer a bold alternative explanation in this provocative and brilliant book.

Ryan and Jethå's central contention is that human beings evolved in egalitarian groups that shared food, child care, and, often, sexual partners. Weaving together convergent, frequently overlooked evidence from anthropology, archaeology, primatology, anatomy, and psychosexuality, the authors show how far from human nature monogamy really is. Human beings everywhere and in every era have confronted the same familiar, intimate situations in surprisingly different ways. The authors expose the ancient roots of human sexuality while pointing toward a more optimistic future illuminated by our innate capacities for love, cooperation, and generosity.

With intelligence, humor, and wonder, Ryan and Jethå show how our promiscuous past haunts our struggles over monogamy, sexual orientation, and family dynamics. They explore why long-term fidelity can be so difficult for so many; why sexual passion tends to fade even as love deepens; why many middle-aged men risk everything for transient affairs with younger women; why homosexuality persists in the face of standard evolutionary logic; and what the human body reveals about the prehistoric origins of modern sexuality.

In the tradition of the best historical and scientific writing, Sex at Dawn unapologetically upends unwarranted assumptions and unfounded conclusions while offering a revolutionary understanding of why we live and love as we do.

1100055497
Sex at Dawn: How We Mate, Why We Stray, and What It Means for Modern Relationships

Since Darwin's day, we've been told that sexual monogamy comes naturally to our species. Mainstream science—as well as religious and cultural institutions—has maintained that men and women evolved in families in which a man's possessions and protection were exchanged for a woman's fertility and fidelity. But this narrative is collapsing. Fewer and fewer couples are getting married, and divorce rates keep climbing as adultery and flagging libido drag down even seemingly solid marriages.

How can reality be reconciled with the accepted narrative? It can't be, according to renegade thinkers Christopher Ryan and Cacilda Jethå. While debunking almost everything we "know" about sex, they offer a bold alternative explanation in this provocative and brilliant book.

Ryan and Jethå's central contention is that human beings evolved in egalitarian groups that shared food, child care, and, often, sexual partners. Weaving together convergent, frequently overlooked evidence from anthropology, archaeology, primatology, anatomy, and psychosexuality, the authors show how far from human nature monogamy really is. Human beings everywhere and in every era have confronted the same familiar, intimate situations in surprisingly different ways. The authors expose the ancient roots of human sexuality while pointing toward a more optimistic future illuminated by our innate capacities for love, cooperation, and generosity.

With intelligence, humor, and wonder, Ryan and Jethå show how our promiscuous past haunts our struggles over monogamy, sexual orientation, and family dynamics. They explore why long-term fidelity can be so difficult for so many; why sexual passion tends to fade even as love deepens; why many middle-aged men risk everything for transient affairs with younger women; why homosexuality persists in the face of standard evolutionary logic; and what the human body reveals about the prehistoric origins of modern sexuality.

In the tradition of the best historical and scientific writing, Sex at Dawn unapologetically upends unwarranted assumptions and unfounded conclusions while offering a revolutionary understanding of why we live and love as we do.

11.99 In Stock
Sex at Dawn: How We Mate, Why We Stray, and What It Means for Modern Relationships

Sex at Dawn: How We Mate, Why We Stray, and What It Means for Modern Relationships

Sex at Dawn: How We Mate, Why We Stray, and What It Means for Modern Relationships

Sex at Dawn: How We Mate, Why We Stray, and What It Means for Modern Relationships

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Overview

Since Darwin's day, we've been told that sexual monogamy comes naturally to our species. Mainstream science—as well as religious and cultural institutions—has maintained that men and women evolved in families in which a man's possessions and protection were exchanged for a woman's fertility and fidelity. But this narrative is collapsing. Fewer and fewer couples are getting married, and divorce rates keep climbing as adultery and flagging libido drag down even seemingly solid marriages.

How can reality be reconciled with the accepted narrative? It can't be, according to renegade thinkers Christopher Ryan and Cacilda Jethå. While debunking almost everything we "know" about sex, they offer a bold alternative explanation in this provocative and brilliant book.

Ryan and Jethå's central contention is that human beings evolved in egalitarian groups that shared food, child care, and, often, sexual partners. Weaving together convergent, frequently overlooked evidence from anthropology, archaeology, primatology, anatomy, and psychosexuality, the authors show how far from human nature monogamy really is. Human beings everywhere and in every era have confronted the same familiar, intimate situations in surprisingly different ways. The authors expose the ancient roots of human sexuality while pointing toward a more optimistic future illuminated by our innate capacities for love, cooperation, and generosity.

With intelligence, humor, and wonder, Ryan and Jethå show how our promiscuous past haunts our struggles over monogamy, sexual orientation, and family dynamics. They explore why long-term fidelity can be so difficult for so many; why sexual passion tends to fade even as love deepens; why many middle-aged men risk everything for transient affairs with younger women; why homosexuality persists in the face of standard evolutionary logic; and what the human body reveals about the prehistoric origins of modern sexuality.

In the tradition of the best historical and scientific writing, Sex at Dawn unapologetically upends unwarranted assumptions and unfounded conclusions while offering a revolutionary understanding of why we live and love as we do.


Product Details

ISBN-13: 9780062207944
Publisher: HarperCollins Publishers
Publication date: 03/27/2012
Sold by: HARPERCOLLINS
Format: eBook
Pages: 432
Sales rank: 16,706
File size: 3 MB

About the Author

Christopher Ryan, PhD, is a research psychologist. He lives in Barcelona, Spain.


Cacilda Jethá, MD, is a practicing psychiatrist. She lives in Barcelona, Spain.

Table of Contents

Preface: A Primate Meets His Match (A note from one of the authors) xi

Introduction: Another Well-intentioned Inquisition 1

A Few Million Years in a Few Pages 10

Part I On The Origin Of The Specious 17

1 Remember the Yucatán! 19

You Are What You Eat 20

2 What Darwin Didn't Know About Sex 25

The Flintstonization of Prehistory 31

What Is Evolutionary Psychology and Why Should You Care? 36

Lewis Henry Morgan 42

3 A Closer Look at the Standard Narrative of Human Sexual Evolution 46

How Darwin Insults Your Mother (The Dismal Science of Sexual Economics) 48

The Famously Flaccid Female Libido 51

Male Parental Investment (MPI) 52

"Mixed Strategies" in the War Between the Sexes 55

Extended Sexual Receptivity and Concealed Ovulation 58

4 The Ape in the Mirror 61

Primates and Human Nature 64

Doubting the Chimpanzee Model 67

In Search of Primate Continuity 69

Part II Lust in paradise (solitary?) 79

5 Who Lost What in Paradise? 81

On Getting Funky and Rockin Round the Clock 83

6 Who's Your Daddies? 90

The Joy of S.E.Ex. 93

The Promise of Promiscuity 98

Bonobo Beginnings 101

7 Mommies Dearest 105

Nuclear Meltdown 109

8 Making a Mess of Marriage, Mating, and Monogamy 113

Marriage: The "Fundamental Condition" of the Human Species? 115

On Matrimonial Whoredom 119

9 Paternity Certainty: The Crumbling Cornerstone of the Standard Narrative 124

Love, Lust, and Liberty at Lugu Lake 126

On the Inevitability of Patriarchy 131

The March of the Monogamous 134

10 Jealousy: A Beginner's Guide to Coveting Thy Neighbor's Spouse 138

Zero-Sum Sex 141

How to Tell When a Man Loves a Woman 146

Part III The Way We Weren't 151

11 "The Wealth of Nature" (Poor?) 153

Poor, Pitiful Me 158

The Despair of Millionaires 161

Finding Contentment "at the Bottom of the Scale of Human Beings" 163

12 The Selfish Meme (Nasty?) 166

Homo Economicus 166

The Tragedy of the Commons 169

Dreams of Perpetual Progress 172

Ancient Poverty or Assumed Affluence? 173

On Paleolithic Politics 176

13 The Never-Ending Battle over Prehistoric War (Brutish?) 182

Professor Pinker, Red in Tooth and Claw 183

The Mysterious Disappearance of Margaret Power 187

The Spoils of War 190

The Napoleonic Invasion (The Yanomami Controversy) 194

The Desperate Search for Hippie Hypocrisy and Bonobo Brutality 197

14 The Longevity Lie (Short?) 200

When Does Life Begin ? When Does It End? 202

Is 80 the New 30? 204

Stressed to Death 208

Who You Calling a Starry-Eyed Romantic, Pal? 210

Part IV Bodies In Motion 213

15 Little Big Man 215

All's Fair in Love and Sperm War 219

16 The Truest Measure of a Man 225

Hard Core in the Stone Age 231

17 Sometimes a Penis Is Just a Penis 233

18 The Prehistory of O 244

"What Horrid Extravagancies ofMinde!" 246

Beware the Devil's Teat 252

The Force Required to Suppress It 253

19 When Girls Go Wild 255

Female Cofulatory Vocalization 255

Sin Tetas, No Hay Paraíso 259

Come Again? 262

Part V Men are from Africa, Women are From Africa 269

20 On Mona Lisa's Mind 271

21 The Pervert's Lament 280

Just Say What? 285

Kelloggs Guide to Child Abuse 288

The Curse of Calvin Coolidge 293

The Perils of Monotomy (Monogamy+ Monotony) 293

22 Confronting the Sky Together 306

Everybody Out of the Closet 311

The Marriage of the Sun and the Moon 311

Author's Note 313

Acknowledgments 315

Notes 317

References and Suggested Further Reading 351

Index 383

What People are Saying About This

Eric Michael Johnson

“Sex At Dawn is a provocative and engaging synthesis... that has the added benefit of being a joy to read.... A book sure to generate discussion, and one likely to produce more than a few difficult conversations with family marriage counselors.”

Stanton Peele

“Christopher Ryan and Cacilda Jetha have written the essential corrective to the evolutionary psychology literature...”

Steve Taylor

“A wonderfully provocative and well-written book which completely re-evaluates human sexual behaviour and gets to the root of many of our social and psychological ills.”

Stanley Krippner

“This paradigm-shifting book is a thoroughly original discussion of the origins and nature of human sexuality... These authors have a gift for making complex material reader-friendly, filling each chapter with humor and passion as well as dozens of revolutionary insights.”

Frans de Waal

“You clearly have an exciting book on your hands, whether people agree with it or not: these are issues that will need debating over and over before we will arrive at a resolution.”

Andrew Weil

“Sex At Dawn challenges conventional wisdom about sex in a big way... This is a provocative, entertaining, and pioneering book. I learned a lot from it and recommend it highly.”

Dan Savage

“Sex At Dawn is the single most important book about human sexuality since Alfred Kinsey unleashed Sexual Behavior in the Human Male on the American public in 1948.”

Tony Perrottet

“One of the most original books I’ve read in years, Sex at Dawn manages to be both enormously erudite and wildly entertaining—even, frequently, hilarious. . . . A must-read for anyone interested in where our sexual impulses come from.”

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