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Product Details
| ISBN-13: | 9781452029788 |
|---|---|
| Publisher: | AuthorHouse |
| Publication date: | 07/13/2010 |
| Sold by: | Barnes & Noble |
| Format: | eBook |
| File size: | 230 KB |
Read an Excerpt
Situations
What Didn't Kill Me, Made Me Stronger!By Akeela N. Brinson
AuthorHouse
Copyright © 2010 Akeela N. BrinsonAll right reserved.
ISBN: 978-1-4520-2976-4
Chapter One
Where Did We Go Wrong?
Where did we go wrong? When I had a dream and didn't fulfill it, is it because I didn't believe in myself , let others discourage me or I didn't give my all? I've been working at my job now for 5 years and have not been promoted not one single time yet others who were hired after me has been promoted to a higher level of position. Is it because of my work performance, attendance or attitude? I became a parent at a young age, is it because I chose not to use protection? My husband and I were just married and we have been feuding for months now to where he sleeps on the couch. Now we are seeking a Divorce Attorney. Should we have had counseling, went to church and prayed on it?
These are some but not limited to the situations in which we all encounter and question ourselves. We fault ourselves for a lot of things that happen in our lives and we tend to give up before we try! First and foremost, we never allow GOD to come into our life! I feel we are this way because we are looking for change and answers, we want it now and right in front of our face. People want to see and hear it and not pray and wait until something happens. I'm not saying this to speak as if I don't believe in GOD, I do believe in him, but there are people who don't, they doubt him and they question him! This is where we need for everyone to pull together and help each other understand our CREATOR and why he has his plans mapped out for us! People wonder why things don't go there way? Well it was never planned for it to be your way!
God has everything for us according to his plan. We receive when GOD gives! A lot of people pray to GOD when something is expected to happen and they pray that he can come into their life at that point in time and save them from the drama. It doesn't necessarily have to be the lost of a loved one, it could be being laid off, or terminated, hoping the pregnancy test is negative, failing in school, punishment, etc,. Some people pray to GOD only when they want things to happen. Such as: winning the lottery, approved for a house or car, a girl instead of a boy or vice versa, qualified candidate for a job, etc,.
We go wrong because GOD is always the last person in which we turn to when we either want something to happen or pray nothing happens! Oh it's time to call upon the LORD now! Bottom line is put GOD before you and your life and you'll be thanking him for blessing you instead of praying for something good to happen or praying nothing bad will happen! Tough times don't last forever, however blessings from GOD last a lifetime! You can't recover the stone after it was thrown, the word after it was said, the occasion after it was missed, and the time after it was gone, but you can pray for forgiveness and be forgiven! When the devil is knocking at your door, don't hesitate to answer it, just ask JESUS if he can get that for you!
Chapter Two
Mother vs. Father
Just as I'm his mother, you're his father too Can't you see it in his eyes, how he resembles you?
He's got your lips and your ears, and your texture of hair For six years he's called you Daddy, but you were never there
No matter how long that it takes before he sees you again You came around him four years later, now he's already ten
You say as he gets older, he'll understand that you care I'm not feeling how you see it when you were never there
Through his changes in life your sorry ass never bothered I find it easy being a mother you find hard being a father
Every day of my life, I take care of our son You're there for the others, but never this one
When our son ask me questions I can't tell him the truth I'll dial your number, pass the phone and let him talk to you
Though we may not be together doesn't mean turn your back If he can't reach you via phone where will he find you at?
For I can say all I want but his words has more power Instead of protecting his heart you let him down as his father
Trading places....................
Fathers, let me ask you all questions I can think of if you had the opportunity to walk in a mother's shoes!
Question is: 1. Can you take off work to attend parent teacher conferences and doctor's appointments? 2. Can you call around to a few daycare centers and get insight on child care? 3. Can you stand in line at the DHS office for hours and apply for assistance from the state for the sake of your child? 4. Is your daughter old enough to douche? 5. Who will watch the children in order for you to go to work? 6. Can you fix a full course meal, wash and iron clothes, clean up the house, give the children baths, help with homework and have them in the bed at 9pm? 7. When a child is feeling ill, do you know between the pharmacy, clinic and hospital should he/she go? 8. Your daughter just started her menstrual cycle, what are you going to do? 9. Will you and the children attend church? 10. Can you not only teach your children right from wrong, but can you teach them what's right and what's wrong? 11. By the way, when should you talk to your child about sex, before or after they have it? 12. And since momma's not around what will you say when the child asks "Why?
Now those questions are just a fraction of what mothers have to deal with and go through with our children. I'm not saying mothers complain about it and can't take the stress, but it's a job being a full time mother! I'll tell you one thing a man couldn't afford to buy a mother for what we are worth! Our job and what we do for our children and to run a household is priceless! Hey its not easy admitting the truth, no one ever said it would be. However what hurts the most, telling a lie about the truth or telling the truth about the lie?
When it all comes down to explanations, fathers you don't have to explain yourselves to me, the judge, or each other, but you better have a damn good story for your child! It goes on and on and on! So because our children grew up in an unstable home due to the absence of one parent to another, they tend to be out of control and not sure which road to take, the proper steps to make, when to speak, when to listen, who and who not to trust! And as they age in life, they are at fault for their actions. Now even though each individual human being is responsible for their own actions, we are brought up in this world from one house hold to another according to how our parents raised us!
A father's well being in his child's life plays just as much a major role as the mother. Even for his daughter, he has to teach her about men and how they distinguish the difference between a lady and a whore! A father can teach his daughter when she becomes of age on how a man will value a woman with no body and a sound mind vs. a woman with all body and no mind at all! A father can easily teach his daughter how a man can find a woman to be very attractive but her attitude is so ugly he wouldn't give her the time of the day vs. a woman who is half way descent but focused and know where, what and how to get what she wants out of life.
A father can teach his son how to know he's a man, not just by height, age or the sound of his voice or the structure of his body, but for the responsibilities, the loses and gains that a man will encounter in life. To understand you will lose what you want to get what you need but be a man and accept the challenges that life has to offer! How to wear his pants above his waist and not below to his knees. How to treat a woman the same way he wants a man to treat his mother! How to pick and choose his friends cautiously, especially when this day and age, you never know what each and every other child is learning at home and if its suitable for a child their age.
If your son comes home from school wanting to go over a friend's house will you allow yourself to meet the friend's dad? What kind of traffic goes in and out of the friend's door? What music does he listen to and what shows does he watch? Does his mother dress descent around her own child to where she'll be appropriately dressed in front of your son? Explain to him the difference in fast money vs. hard earned money. Explain to him why your friend's father may be riding in a SuperCharged Range Rover because he's up all night cutting blocks and looking over his shoulders and you may drive a Taurus but you don't count your income by quantity sold, but by hours worked, not to mention how does your friend have insurance to your benefits collected from your father. Fathers, you're not being judge mental by checking the environment in which your child choose to hang, you are looking out for the safety and best interest for your son!
Yes it may be offensive to some people to ask the parent of your child's friend if they are in a relationship with someone, especially if you are talking to the same sex. However, when that subject comes up and eventually it will, try to set a date for you and both parents to meet you and your spouse if you are seriously involved with someone. These facts stated here are reasons why fathers should know why they are far more important than what they know! Look at it this way. If men don't help the boys today coming up in life, they will not be respectable. And how can you get mad at the next man who disrespects your daughter to the point where you're threatening him, but still yet you didn't play an important role in his life by setting an example. No you can't raise other people's kids, I know that, but you can't put your hands on them either! If you be a part of your child's life in decision making, then his attitude, and the way he carries himself as a boy to a full grown man will reflect upon you out in public. He will get much respect which comes from dad. He will make a good impression to others of his age.
And remember, you will always be an elder to the little ones so what you show is what they will tell! For example, if you speak to them no matter where or what and keep yourself well groomed and in check, no matter how cool you are to them, they will always respect you! They won't blast music in front of your house because they see how you carry yourself as a man and the type of crowd at your home. Teach them how to be polite and caring, that's right I said caring because men have a heart too!
When you are in the store and you can't reach something or if you drop something, then they will be polite and have enough manners to pick that up for you as oppose to walking around or over it. The more they hear all the men around their age and older address each other by their proper name in the streets, the less you will hear, "N***a" which comes out just about every other word nowadays! And to you as well fathers, this is just a fraction of what you are worth in a house that comprise of a family. Remember you're only a boy once and a man forever! What the results of our boys are today came from what you did yesterday and the results from tomorrow will be the result on what you did with and for him today!
Chapter Three
Lil' girls in a woman's body..................
Another interesting subject you hear about on a day to day basis. I mean is it just me or damn, mothers, do our daughters have bodies like "whoa!"? That has been told to them time and time again by mothers to their girlfriends, to boys to pedophiles. I'm not even sure how to answer a question coming through like that because my daughter is still a baby. All I can do is pray and put in God's hands that my daughter will wear the clothes and not let the clothes wear her. A lot of the young girls today wants to keep up with the latest fashion and designer wear and dress like the celebrities, but understand that the celebrities get paid to dress like that and for the most part, it's apart of what they choose for the stage or either their video.
I have seen some girls, middle and high school to where I didn't know if she was a student there because of her uniform or picking her child up from class. But why get mad when your daughter ends up pregnant at the age 13 when she is able to wear clothes that we don't even wear? Some of these young girls get more attention from men than a grown woman does! If she's swollen in the right places, a man will offer her any type of materials to take her innocence away, and because she finds the need to keep up with today's fashion, she hops in the ride and hops on the bed! Instead of looking at ourselves in the mirror everyday to add lashes for glamour, lipstick for color, and weave for length, let's pay attention to or daughter's and how they try to replicate us and use their size and shape as entertainment to men instead of being sacred to themselves.
You will be surprised at who allows what to be seen or heard around their child. Moms allow yourself to be the most important factor in your daughter's life. If something happens to you, who can you name right off the top of your head that will take the place of you and carry out what you have planned for your daughter? Be a mother to your child as well as friend. Keep up with the latest technology and why children text so much or feel the need to have the internet or certain friends. Know who your daughter's best friend is and get to know the mother and father as well. If need be, get your daughter's father involved whether biological or step! That way as a man he can determine if he feels comfortable enough for his daughter to be in the presence of this man. There are a lot of pedophiles out here and a lot of them are the father of his own daughter! Fathers stay active and involved in your daughter's life, please! Don't let your daughter be a victim!
Hey I'll tell you one story about a girl who was sexually molested at the age of 2 and 11 by her biological father. She was home alone with him and he was washing her up and when he told her to get up on the bed and touch her toes, he tried his very best to penetrate her from behind. Some sick story ain't it? He didn't penetrate her, but the thought and effort of even trying to do so is sickening! How about at the age of eleven he tried again to do her the same way, but in a different position. Not necessary to go into details but hey I have a daughter as well. I'm not saying that her father gives me every reason to believe he would do such a thing, but I didn't think mine would do it either! Mothers and fathers, read this book, think about it. Talk it over amongst yourselves, together and with others
I remember the age of 2 as if it were yesterday But it wasn't very peaceful for what I'm about to say My mother and father took turns watching me while the other one was away And I guess everything was okay until this one summer day
My mother had went to work at a fish place down the street And my father had been having a lot of male company over that week He had neighbors, his nephews, his brother, and friends Just a few of the fellas over the weekend
I had just gotten washed up and baby oiled down And was told to get on the bed and turn around For me to stand on the bed, bend over and touch my toes Sounds kind of sad but that's how the story goes
There was a plastic orange brush on the foot of the bed This was the brush my mother used to comb my head Suddenly I felt my body being forced to move forward And so I lost my balance and then felt over
I was told to get up again and be very still I kid you not this sickening moment happened for real A man's hand was around my waist with the other pushing my head down I was told to be quiet and don't make a sound
I said time and time again it hurt as I was crying But he kept and kept and kept on trying The more I cried and fell over farther He tried to force himself in me just a little bit harder
Finally I guess he decided to stop and give in Damn I was only two, what was he thinking? Nine years went by and I was much older not thinking that I'd see that day again But on some weekends I'd spend the night at my grandma's in her basement
And twice one day, while taking a nap I felt my body roll to the side One leg was straight and the other bent with my hand in between my thighs I was wearing black stretch pants with a don't worry be happy t-shirt And I knew something wasn't right because I began to hurt
The same feeling I felt about nine years ago Was familiar that day and you'll never guess who As I laid on my side with my hand under my chin with tears I couldn't believe I'd relive that day after all these years
(Continues...)
Excerpted from Situations by Akeela N. Brinson Copyright © 2010 by Akeela N. Brinson. Excerpted by permission.
All rights reserved. No part of this excerpt may be reproduced or reprinted without permission in writing from the publisher.
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Table of Contents
Contents
Chapter One Where Did We Go Wrong?....................1Chapter Two Mother vs. Father....................5
Chapter Three Lil' girls in a woman's body....................11
Chapter Four He got a little hair on his chest....................17
Chapter Five Babies having babies....................23
Chapter Six The Way You Hit on Me....................29
Chapter Seven Acknowledging of the Acting Parent....................35
Chapter Eight Loving him while he's in love with her....................41
Chapter Nine Pick up/Drop off....................49
Chapter Ten In-Laws....................53
Chapter Eleven He Has No Say So....................57
Chapter Twelve 365 days in a year....................59
Chapter Thirteen A Woman's Worth....................63
Chapter Fourteen Role play....................67
Chapter Fifteen Have Some Respect When You Come to My House....................71
Chapter Sixteen Hear, Say! Too many questions!....................75
Chapter Seventeen As a Mother What Should I Do When My Son Ask Me Questions Such As....?....................79
Chapter Eighteen Hide and Seek....................83
Chapter Nineteen A Letter to My Father....................87
Chapter Twenty A Child Kept Secret....................89
Chapter Twenty-One Baby Daddy....................93
Chapter Twenty-Two Families so Divided....................95
Chapter Twenty-Three Father and Son....................99
Chapter Twenty-Four Father vs. Mother....................103
Chapter Twenty-Five Emotional Rollercoaster....................107
Chapter Twenty-Six I'm Feeling You While I'm With Him....................111
Chapter Twenty-Seven The System....................115
Chapter Twenty-Eight Seek First to Understand....................121
Chapter Twenty-Nine Why Do We Cheat?....................125
Chapter Thirty A House Is Not A Home....................133