Social Styles Handbook, The: Adapt Your Style to Win Trust

by Wilson Learning Library, Larry Wilson (Foreword by)

Overview

Why do you connect easily with some people and not with others? More than two million people use social styles and versatility skills to read and adapt to the natural behavior of others. Simple to learn and apply, social styles skills immediately improve communication and relationships at work and at home. Use them and you'll accomplish more with everyone. The secret is very simple: treat people the way they want to be treated. Learn your own social style, how to read others' styles, discover how to handle conflict with social styles in mind, and begin using versatility to ensure productive, long-term relationships. These proven, life-changing tools have produced measurable results for all people in all types of relationships, jobs and businesses worldwide. If you learn about social styles and practice versatility, you too will see immediate, positive results.

Product Details

ISBN-13:	9789077256336
Publisher:	Nova Vista Publishing
Publication date:	05/04/2011
Series:	Wilson Learning Library Series
Pages:	192
Sales rank:	167,397
Product dimensions:	6.30(w) x 9.00(h) x 0.60(d)

About the Author

Wilson Learning is a global consulting and training company. It has profiled more than two million people's social styles and offers workshops in and out of businesses. Participants agree that the life-changing tools this book and the workshops provide are genuine assets in building trusting, productive relationships, and getting work done.

Table of Contents

Foreword Larry Wilson 7

Section 1 The Case for Communication 9

1 Introduction 9

Words Aren't the Key 10

Social Styles, Versatility and Success 12

Summary 14

2 Mindset Matters 15

A Warm-Up Exercise 15

The Exercise 15

The Point of the Exercise 16

Essential Mindsets 17

Mindset #1 Look for the Signals and Respond Correctly 17

Mindset #2 Be Prepared to Act in Ways that Don't Feel Comfortable 17

Mindset #3 You Can't Change Your Own Style, But You Can Adapt Your Behavior 19

Mindset #4 Diversity is Enriching, But Requires Understanding 19

Summary 20

Section 2 Dimensions of Social Styles 21

3 A New View of Behavior 21

Two Critical Assumptions 22

Social Styles Focuses Only on Observable Behavior 22

Perception is Reality 22

Summary 23

4 Assertiveness and Responsiveness - The Measures of Behavior 24

Assertiveness and Responsiveness 24

Assertiveness - The Measure of Influencing 25

Responsiveness - The Measure of Expressing 26

Assertiveness and Responsiveness - The Basis for the Social Styles Matrix 28

Summary 31

5 Versatility - Adapting Your Style 33

Versatility in Action 34

Comfort Zones - Yours and Theirs 34

Summary 35

6 Task and Relationship Tension - Productive or Unproductive? 36

Task Tension 36

Relationship Tension 37

Rising and Falling Tension 38

Moving from Relationship to Task Tension 40

Summary 41

7 Comfort - The Key to Trust and Confidence 42

Comfort Opens the Way to Trust 42

The Effects of Discomfort 43

The Payoffs for Making Others Comfortable 44

The Requirements for Comfort 46

Summary 47

8 Habit - Getting Beyond Comfort and Custom in Communication 48

Comfort Zones and Habits 48

Adapting - Better than Just Reacting 50

Style Modification 51

Summary 53

9 Generalizing and Judging - Pros and Cons 54

When Generalization and Judgments Make Sense 55

Behavior, Feeling, and Thinking 56

Summary 58

10 Back-Up Behavior - Fight or Flight 59

Fight or Flight Tendencies 59

Back-Up Recovery Strategies - LSCPA 62

Listen 62

Share 63

Clarify 63

Problem-Solve 64

Ask for Action 64

Adapting LSCPA to Fight or Flight Behavior 65

Summary 67

11 Building Relationships - Entry, Dialogue and Closure 69

Entry 71

Purpose, Process and Payoff (PPP) Statements 71

Credibility 73

Dialogue 74

Listening 74

Exploring 75

Integrating 76

Closure 78

Affirming the Agreement 79

Supporting the Decision 79

Enhancing the Relationship 80

Building Trust 81

Summary 82

12 The Social Style Self-Profiler 84

Section 3 Social Styles in Depth 88

13 Living and Working with Analyticals 88

Analytical Expectations 89

Entry with Analyticals 93

Dialogue with Analyticals 96

Closure with Analyticals 97

Affirming 97

Supporting 98

Enhancing 99

Adapting Your Style for Analyticals 99

Understanding and Handling Back-Up Behavior with Analyticals 103

If You Are an Analytical 104

Summary 105

14 Living and Working with Drivers 107

Driver Expectations 109

Entry with Drivers 112

Dialogue with Drivers 115

Closure with Drivers 115

Affirming 116

Supporting 116

Enhancing 117

Adapting Your Style for Drivers 118

Understanding and Handling Back-Up Behavior with Drivers 120

If You Are a Driver 121

Summary 124

15 Living and Working with Amiables 125

Amiable Expectations 128

Entry with Amiables 130

Dialogue with Amiables 131

Closure with Amiables 134

Affirming 135

Supporting 135

Enhancing 136

Adapting Your Style for Amiables 137

Understanding and Handling Back-Up Behavior with Amiables 140

If You Are an Amiable 141

Summary 144

16 Living and Working with Expressives 145

Expressive Expectations 146

Entry with Expressives 149

Dialogue with Expressives 150

Closure with Expressives 152

Affirming 152

Supporting 153

Enhancing 154

Adapting Your Style for Expressives 155

Understanding and Handling Back-Up Behavior with Expressives 157

If You Are an Expressive 158

Summary 160

Section 4 Lessons From Social Styles Experts 162

17 Speeding Up the Learning Curve 162

Take It Slowly 163

Don't Jump to Conclusions 164

Stay Away From Stereotypes 165

Be Realistic About the Power of Social Styles 165

Be Aware of Styles Within Styles 166

Accept People's Behavior as a Sign of Their Comfort Zones and Nothing More 166

Observe One Dimension of Behavior - Assertiveness or Responsiveness - At a Time 167

Observe Verbal and Nonverbal Behaviors - and Be Objective 167

Start Assessing Styles Even Before Your First Meeting 168

Use Introductions as Early Indications of Style 169

Focus on Making Only Minor Modifications in Your Behavior 170

Live By the Platinum Rule 171

Value Diversity 172

Selling is Easier with Social Styles in Mind 174

Recognize When You Are the One in Back-Up 176

Don't Expect Reciprocity 178

Consistency and Integrity Matter Most 178

Don't Try to Be Someone Else 179

Appendix 180

Resources 183

Contributors 186

Index 188