Read an Excerpt
12
Thou Shalt Not Dump the Skater Dude
CJLOGANLAND.COM
July 17
To all y'all who keep buggin me: Yeah, we broke up. Had to happen. The girl's a Total Sex Fiend. Never wanted to do anything else. I mean, come on, it's usually the girls who complain that we have only one thing on our minds . . . She cried when I told her. Which almost got to me, but I was strong. For those who might be interested in giving her a test-drive, keep in mind that the TSF goes from zero to sixty in no time flat, so operate with caution.
That's all I'm sayin.
xxx
It's hard to say what was worse:
a.) The true parts,
b.) The made-up parts,
c.) Or the fact that I was reading this on the Internet and anyone who went to EBH would know he was talking about me. The alleged me.
Because-especially if you judged it by what went on that last night-it was true that things had gotten pretty hot between me and C.J.
But that night had been built up to slowly over the course of almost a year.
Before C.J., I hadn't done more than kiss. Well, not much more. I'd had a brief-as in one week-seventh-grade romance with an eighth-grader named Brian Thorne back in Boston, which involved a lot of kissing, some with tongue, and a brief moment of under-the-shirt, over-the-bra hand-to-breast contact. But that had done nothing for me except send me into hysterics, because it totally tickled, which totally embarrassed Brian, who never looked me in the face after that.
By the time C.J. came along I was ready to be touched-there and elsewhere. I enjoyed every moment in the front seat of his pickup all those nights. Plus that one night in the hot tub at my grandparents' when he and I got home before Mom and Mim and Leonard came back from the movies. And I'd enjoyed our last night together, even though I had known it was over.
C.J. had touched me in ways and places I'd never been touched before.
And yes, I liked it.
And he knew it. And he knew I didn't want to stop any more than he wanted to stop.
So I guess it really was true, in a way, that I couldn't "get enough." My body wanted more than my head was ready for, and I never pretended otherwise.
But the thing is, we always stopped. Sometimes I was the one to say, "We'd better stop." Sometimes it was C.J. Sometimes he had to get out of the truck and walk around taking deep breaths, but we always stopped.
It wasn't that I was all hung up on being a virgin until I turned some magic number or that I was saving myself for The One. I just wasn't ready in my head to cross the line my body wanted to cross. C.J. said he respected the fact that I didn't feel ready. One time he jokingly asked me if I thought I might feel ready anytime soon, but other than that, he didn't pressure me.
And up until that final night in his truck, getting hot and pulling back made us feel close. Or so I thought.
xxx
I didn't discover C.J.'s online rampage until a couple of weeks after he posted it, after it had been sitting there, in view of the whole world. I'd gone to Cape Cod with Dad and Josh, and had a totally fun time at this weird hippie hotel retreat for single parents. I'd met a nice guy there, and we had kissed some and done the holding-hands-while-walking-on-the-beach thing. And I hadn't felt the least bit guilty about it, because I had been completely clear with C.J. and so I was a free agent.
When we got back to Dad's place in Boston, I went online to catch up with e-mail and to IM my new friends Tracy and Beka, whom I'd met at the Cape. Just out of curiosity, I went to C.J.'s blog. Silly me-I was worried about him. He'd seemed so hurt on our last night, I wanted to make sure he was okay. I wanted to see if he was back to his old, skating-obsessed self.
Apparently, he'd discovered a whole new self. A mean, lying, full-of-himself self.
I called Amy.
"Where are you?"
"At the Hut." Java Hut was a café near the U.C. campus where Amy and I would bring our laptops to use their wireless Internet.
"Are you online?"
"Yeah. . . ."
"Go to C.J.'s blog."
"What? Why? I thought you were over him."
"I am. I'm totally over him."
"Okay, and you're reading his blog because . . . ?"
"Please? Would you just please go to cjloganland.com?"
"Okay, okay. . . ." I heard the tapping of her keyboard, then quiet and then, "Oh. Oh. Oh no. What a jerk."
"Why would he do that?"
"Um . . . maybe because he's totally in love with you and can't deal with the fact that you dumped him?"
"Oh please."
"Think about it. No one's ever dumped C.J. Logan. You've, like, broken a commandment or something. 'Thou shalt not dump the Skater Dude.' What we have here is a classic lashing-out scenario. He's hurt and so he's hurting you back."
Amy got quiet again. "Oh no."
"What?"
"Oh this is not good."
"What!?"
"Have you read the comments?"
Added by urgrl
Friday, August 5, 7:33 PM
what a skank! IM me cj-I can make u feel better.
<3 (let me be) urgrl
Added by q_t_lizzee
Thursday, July 28, 3:13 PM
cj u r better off without the TSF. I saw u skate in Sacto last weekend. I wuz in the white tank top with a butterfly tattoo you smiled & waved. Pls call me my frend has a car. Luv Lizzie xxx-xxx-xxxx
(Note from Kelsey: As stupid and mean as these girls obviously are, I'm not going to stoop to publishing their AIM ids or phone numbers. That would be wrong. Fun maybe, but wrong.)
Added by sk8fan
Tuesday, July 19, 5:11 PM
I know a girl like that!!!!!She gave my boyfriend (and now me 2!) warts gross SKANK is rite
I clicked ADD A COMMENT and typed as fast as I could with one hand:
This is all a lie. I broke up with C.J.! He's making this all up because he can't accept the fact that a girl would actually dump him. You are all so pathetic and by the way, don't you know that you're not supposed to post your phone number on the Internet? There are pervs on the lookout for girls like you-
TSF(not!)herself
Amy said, "What are you doing?"
"I can't let him get away with these lies." I read her what I wrote.
"And exactly who do you think will believe you?"
"I've got to defend myself." I moved my cursor over the POST button.
"Okay, Kelsey? Stop. Think. Think about what you're about to do."
"I can't let those lies sit out there like that. I have to defend myself."
"And what do you think's going to happen after your post? They'll all just say, 'Oh, okay, I didn't realize, but now that you explain it, I see that C.J. must be saying these things because of his bruised ego.' No. They-or C.J. himself-are going to attack back and it'll-"
"Amy?"
"Yeah?"
"It's too late."
"You posted?"
"Yup."
She just sighed. A very big sigh.
xxx
Within two hours, C.J. had written a response to my comment, and this time, it didn't have any basis in reality. He said:
a.) That I'd been calling and IMing him all summer,
b.) That he'd had to change his cell phone number and screen name, and
c.) That he was thinking about getting a restraining order to protect himself. From me!
xxx
If I'd only listened to Amy, I might have had a shred of dignity left at the beginning of sophomore year.
