True Secrets of Lesbian Desire: Keeping Sex Alive in Long-term Relationships

by Renate Stendhal, Jewelle Gomez (Foreword by)

Overview

Renate Stendhal sweeps out the old myths about bed death, the notion that lesbian couples tend to be too close to maintain sexual desire. Her own story and her talks with counseling clients prove the contrary. Stendhal shows that sex is the natural and continuous outcome of a closeness generated by bold honesty and the capacity to speak and hear intimate secrets. Sharing "shameful" desires and vulnerable fears is what love and sexual passion are made of.

Stendhal teaches simple, effective and thought-provoking lessons for any committed or married couple who wants to keep passion alive beyond the honeymoon phase. Her message: The art of intimate truth-telling is the most effective aphrodisiac of all.

Product Details

ISBN-13:	9781556434754
Publisher:	North Atlantic Books
Publication date:	10/20/2003
Edition description:	Reprint
Pages:	120
Product dimensions:	5.55(w) x 7.51(h) x 0.43(d)

About the Author

Renate Stendhal is a coach and counselor for individuals and couples, with a private practice in Berkeley and San Francisco. She has published several books, including Sex and Other Sacred Games and the award-winning photobiography, Gertrude Stein in Words and Pictures.

Table of Contents

	Foreword	ix
	Preface to the Second Edition	xi
I.	A Woman Appeared	1
	An Approach	1
	"Whence Speakest Thou?"	4
	Entering	9
	Unspeakable Depth	12
II.	The Thirty-Six Colors of Erotic Desire	18
	Getting Down to It	18
	Birds of a Feather	20
	On Dangerous Ground	23
	"Sex Is Magic"	26
	I'd Rather Die than Tell Her	29
	A Possibility	32
	Clues from Childhood	35
	The Coolest Game	39
	Now What?	43
	Back to Square One	47
	The Helpmate	51
	Polymorphously Perverse	55
	Intimate Passion	66
III.	Truth as Aphrodisiac	70
IV.	True Confessions	79
	The Icing on the Cake	79
	Explorer in an Unknown Land	89
	Why Have Sex?	93
	"Mature Sex"	101
	Selena's Secret	107
	Unshaming the Body	110
	An Erotic Practice	115
	Books Mentioned in the Text	119

What People are Saying About This

Del Martin and Phyllis Lyon

Renate Stendhal's unique words of wisdom are wonderful, and have an important message for everyone.
—co-authors of Lesbian/Woman

Alix Dobkin

Tracking all these mutual quests for honest relationships, Stendhal's small and beautiful volume almost made me wish to be in one myself. I'll keep it handy, should the occasion arise.
—singer/songwriter

Merryl A. Sloane

Renate Stendhal's book contains a passionate message in a deceptively small package. It is full of gentle wisdom, insight, encouragement, and, most important, hope.
—GreatSexSecretDesires.com

Carol Queen

What a compassionate and useful little book, so full of heart and good sense. Renate Stendhal brings to her work deep understanding about intimacy that will benefit any couple ready to take the next step in love and passion.
—Ph.D., author of Exhibitionism for the Sky

Editorial Reviews

"Renate Stendhal's unique words of wisdom are wonderful, and have an important message for everyone."
—Del Martin and Phyllis Lyon, co-authors of Lesbian/Woman

"Tracking all these mutual quests for honest relationships, Stendhal's small and beautiful volume almost made me wish to be in one myself. I'll keep it handy, should the occasion arise."
—Alix Dobkin, singer/songwriter

"What a compassionate and useful little book, so full of heart and good sense. Renate Stendhal brings her work deep understanding about intimacy that will benefit any couple ready to take the next step in love and passion."
—Carol Queen, Ph.D., author of Exhibitionism for the Sky

From the Publisher