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    Great Philosophers Who Failed at Love

    Great Philosophers Who Failed at Love

    3.2 7

    by Andrew Shaffer


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      ISBN-13: 9780062036612
    • Publisher: HarperCollins Publishers
    • Publication date: 01/04/2011
    • Sold by: HARPERCOLLINS
    • Format: eBook
    • Pages: 208
    • File size: 2 MB

    Andrew Shaffer is the author of Great Philosophers Who Failed at Love and, under the pen name Fanny Merkin, Fifty Shames of Earl Grey. His writing has appeared in such diverse publications as Mental Floss and Maxim. An Iowa native, Shaffer lives in Lexington, Kentucky, a magical land of horses and bourbon.

    Table of Contents

    Introduction 1

    Philosophers

    Peter Abelard (1079-1142) 7

    Louis Althusser (1918-1990) 14

    Saint Thomas Aquinas (1225-1274) 18

    Aristotle (384-322 BC) 22

    Saint Augustine of Hippo (354-430) 26

    Simone de Beauvoir (1908-1986) 31

    Henry Ward Beecher (1813-1887) 36

    John Calvin (1509-1564) 41

    Albert Camus (1913-1960) 45

    Nicolas Chamfort (1741-1794) 48

    Auguste Comte (1798-1857) 53

    René Descartes (1596-1650) 59

    John Dewey (1859-1952) 63

    Denis Diderot (1713-1784) 67

    Diogenes the Cynic (c. 412-323 BC) 72

    Fyodor Dostoyevsky (1821-1881) 75

    Friedrich Engels (1820-1895) 80

    Johann Wolfgang von Goethe (1749-1832) 84

    Georg Wilhelm Friedrich Hegel (1770-1831) 89

    Martin Heidegger (1889-1976) 93

    David Hume (1711-1776) 97

    Immanuel Kant (1724-1804) 100

    Søren Kierkegaard (1813-1855) 104

    John Locke (1632-1704) 108

    Titus Lucretius (c. 99-c. 55 BC) 113

    Friedrich Nietzsche (1844-1900) 116

    Plato (c. 427-c. 347 BC) 120

    Ayn Rand (1905-1982) 124

    Jean-Jacques Rousseau (1712-1778) 129

    Bertrand Russell (1872-1970) 134

    Jean-Paul Sartre (1905-1980) 138

    Arthur Schopenhauer (1788-1860) 143

    Seneca the Younger (c. 4 BC-AD 65) 148

    Socrates (469-399 BC) 152

    Emanuel Swedenborg (1688-1772) 157

    Henry David Thoreau (1817-1862) 162

    Leo Tolstoy (1828-1910) 166

    Timeline 173

    Acknowledgments 177

    Selected Bibliography 179

    Permissions 193

    What People are Saying About This

    Neal Pollack

    “A funny and oddly moving history of philosophy as tortured erotic dysfunction.”

    A.J. Jacobs

    “Fascinating, thought-provoking and mildly disturbing... Also, if you are considering dating an eminent philosopher, you need to buy this right now.”

    William Irwin

    “A fun way to learn about the lives and loves of the great thinkers.”

    Tom Morris

    “Amazing stories! Incredible quotes! Sordid details! This book shows that a genius in the realm of thought can be a dummy in the land of love. It’s a hilarious and provocative warning, full of cautionary tales for us all. Enjoy it and share it with someone you love!”

    Martin Cohen

    “[A]n entertaining romp through the seamy side of philosophy... highlighting the hypocrisy and downright ineptness of those who too often counted as our ‘greatest thinkers’ in this crucial, if so often overlooked, area of sexual politics...”

    Clancy Martin

    “Indispensable advice for all lovers—and especially for those who think they should learn about the art of love from philosophers. A wonderful summary of the musings on love by some of history’s greatest and most idiosyncratic minds.”

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    “Amazing stories! Incredible quotes! Sordid details! This book shows that a genius in the realm of thought can be a dummy in the land of love.” — Tom Morris, author of If Aristotle Ran General Motors

    What do René Descartes,  John Locke, Jean-Jacques Rousseau, and Jean-Paul Sartre have in common? That’s right: they were all hopeless failures when it came to romance. Author Andrew Shaffer explores the paradox at the core of Western philosophical thought—that history’s greatest thinkers were also the most pathetic lovers to ever walk the earth. With razor-sharp wit and probing insight, Shaffer shows how it’s the philosophers’ missteps, as much as their musings, that are able to truly boggle the intellect.

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    Publishers Weekly
    Shaffer’s jaunty compendium of highbrow heartbreak provides proof positive that even the most brilliant of minds can fall afoul of Cupid—and offers some measure of hope to the lovelorn. He profiles 37 great Western thinkers, detailing the sometimes lurid, always disastrous ways their love lives imploded. The brisk biographies paint a picture of the pitfalls of marriage, dating, and love, but also a philosophy primer. And after learning that Louis Althusser “accidentally” murdered his wife, that Albert Camus divorced his wife after discovering she was sleeping with a doctor in exchange for morphine, that Friedrich Nietzsche engaged in sexual intercourse on several occasions “on doctor’s orders,” and that Martin Heidegger discovered his son was the product of an affair between his wife and a family friend, almost everyone will feel better about his or her love life. (Jan.) A Being So Gentle: The Frontier Love Story of Rachel and Andrew Jackson Patricia Brady Palgrave Macmillan, (272p) ISBN 978-0-230-60950-1 “Their greatest happiness was being together, and they were miserable when apart.” But Andrew and Rachel Jackson’s marriage led to vicious smears during the 1828 presidential campaign, when opponents labeled Rachel an adulteress, bigamist, and whore. The Jacksons’ adoring 40-year marriage, in fact, began with an elopement while Rachel was still married to a successful but overly possessive merchant. Unable legally to seek a divorce after she fell in love with Jackson, her mother’s lodger, Rachel fled with him to Mississippi and Kentucky, and the legality of their marriage remained opaque. Following Rachel’s death soon after his election as president, Jackson “mourned every day for the rest of his life.” In a narrative more simplistic than nuanced, Brady (Martha Washington) nevertheless spins an absorbing tale of lovers in adversity and reveals the humanity of an ambitious, calculating politician. 16 pages of b&w illus. (Feb.)
    Neal Pollack
    A funny and oddly moving history of philosophy as tortured erotic dysfunction.
    A.J. Jacobs
    Fascinating, thought-provoking and mildly disturbing... Also, if you are considering dating an eminent philosopher, you need to buy this right now.
    Clancy Martin
    Indispensable advice for all lovers—and especially for those who think they should learn about the art of love from philosophers. A wonderful summary of the musings on love by some of history’s greatest and most idiosyncratic minds.
    Tom Morris
    Amazing stories! Incredible quotes! Sordid details! This book shows that a genius in the realm of thought can be a dummy in the land of love. It’s a hilarious and provocative warning, full of cautionary tales for us all. Enjoy it and share it with someone you love!
    Martin Cohen
    [A]n entertaining romp through the seamy side of philosophy... highlighting the hypocrisy and downright ineptness of those who too often counted as our ‘greatest thinkers’ in this crucial, if so often overlooked, area of sexual politics...
    William Irwin
    A fun way to learn about the lives and loves of the great thinkers.
    Martha Stewart Whole Living
    If you’re in dutch with your valentine, give him Andrew Shaffer’s book, which recounts the tortured love lives of 37 thinkers. Compared to them, you’ll look as saintly as St. Thomas himself—who, Shaffer tells us, once chased a prostitute out of his room with a hot poker.
    Maclean's
    [An] amusing essay in highbrow schadenfreude...most of the philosophers, giant throbbing intellects and all, simply screwed up like the rest of us.
    the Cedar Rapids Gazette
    Eye-opening, funny, and frequently shocking.
    New York Times Book Review
    ‘Great Philosophers Who Failed at Love’ extends the schadenfreude to the boudoir.
    Cedar Rapids Gazette
    Eye-opening, funny, and frequently shocking.

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