Table of Contents

Acknowledgments xi

First deserve, then desire xiii

Oh, how powerfully the magnet of illusion attracts xxv

1 A Man Is Known by the Company He Avoids

Don't blame the mirror for your own reflection 5

Fear is the prison of the heart 25

Always borrow from a pessimist; he won't expect to be paid back 34

No hell is private 51

Against boredom the gods themselves fight in vain 55

The best of compasses does not point to true north 61

We cannot direct the wind but we can trim the sails 64

Life is rarely as simple as we would have it 69

We flatter ourselves if we believe that our character is fixed 75

What is essential is invisible to the eye 80

The first duty of love is to listen 85

When all is said and done, more is said than done 88

2 People to Cherish

The Essential Virtues 95

Kindness 98

Optimism 103

Courage 108

Loyalty 114

Tolerance 118

Honesty 122

Beauty 126

Humor 132

Flexibility 136

Intelligence 138

3 It Is Not the Answer That Enlightens but the Question

The most dangerous food to eat is a wedding cake 143

The gods too are fond of a joke: the role of chance in human affairs 148

Love will make you forget time and time will make you forget love 152

Any landing you can walk away from is a good landing 158

Falling in love with love is falling for make-believe 164

Experience: Test first, lesson later 169

The trouble with parents is that by the time they are experienced they are unemployed 173

If it weren't for marriage, men and women would have to fight with total strangers 179

Beware of those who are sure they are right 185

Money can't buy happiness; it can, however, rent it 187

Ideas are easier to love than people 192

If you were arrested for kindness, would there be enough evidence to-convict? 196

About the Author 205