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    If We're Together, Why Do I Feel So Alone?: How to Build Intimacy with an Emotionally Unavailable Partner

    by Holly Parker, Robin Westen


    Paperback

    $16.00
    $16.00

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    • ISBN-13: 9780425273487
    • Publisher: Penguin Publishing Group
    • Publication date: 01/03/2017
    • Pages: 320
    • Sales rank: 181,048
    • Product dimensions: 5.20(w) x 7.90(h) x 0.90(d)
    • Age Range: 18 Years

    Holly Parker, PhD, teaches psychology at Harvard University, is a clinical psychologist at the Edith Nourse Rogers Memorial Veterans Hospital, and is the author and coauthor of a number of scientific papers appearing in peer-reviewed journals. She has worked extensively with individuals and couples in the areas of depression, trauma, self-esteem, lifestyle, and relationship issues. A four-time recipient of the George W. Goethals Teaching Prize, and a two-time recipient of the Derek Bok Center Certificate of Excellence and Distinction in Teaching,—awards that go to instructors with the highest student ratings—she has a reputation as a masterful and engaging teacher. In addition to her educational and clinical work, Dr. Parker works to help her patients use lifestyle changes, including exercise, nutrition, sleep, close relationships, and connection with nature, to heal emotional wounds and improve well-being. She is deeply committed to inspiring others to live more connected, rewarding, self-directed, and happy lives through public education. Dr. Parker is also the author of another book on denial as well as a blog.

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    Table of Contents

    Introduction ix

    Chapter 1 Recognizing Emotional Unavailability 1

    Chapter 2 Assessing Your Situation 37

    Chapter 3 Deciding Your Next Move 71

    Chapter 4 Understanding Why 101

    Chapter 5 Respecting Boundaries, Setting Ground Rules, Creating Goodwill, and Building Trust 153

    Chapter 6 Breaking Barriers 181

    Chapter 7 Securing Your Connection 209

    Chapter 8 Forgiving the Past 237

    Chapter 9 Healing Your Emotional and Physical Self 253

    Final Note 271

    Acknowledgments 273

    Resources 275

    References 283

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    Harvard University lecturer and clinical psychologist Dr. Holly Parker offers a step-by-step guide for coping with emotionally unavailable partners.
     
    Living with an emotionally absent partner can be overwhelming. Constantly overcoming the silent distance can leave you with the sense that the give-and-take in your relationship has disappeared. But even a broken relationship can be reinvigorated.
     
    In helping real-world couples achieve a fulfilling future, Harvard University lecturer and clinical psychologist Dr. Holly Parker has developed a program filled with practical exercises and powerful advice for individuals on both sides of an emotionally damaged relationship. In If We’re Together, Why Do I Feel So Alone?, Dr. Parker presents her revelatory insights on topics such as:
     
    • How to identify unavailable personality types, such as the Critic, the Sponge, the Iceberg, the Emotional Silencer, and the Defender
    • How to create healthy emotional connections and boost physical intimacy
    • How to eliminate habits that trigger self-sabotaging behavior
     
    With patience, empathy, and willpower, Dr. Parker’s program can help you restore balance and peace of mind, and turn your damaged partnership back into a rewarding and joyful bond.

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