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Chapter One
A Kidnapping in the Family
There was an old trunk in my mother's bedroom. It was the oldest trunk I ever saw. It was one of those trunks with a round lid like a fat man's belly. Away down in this trunk, beneath wedding linen that was never used because it was wedding linen, and silverware that was never used because it was a wedding present, and beneath all kinds of fancy ribbons, buttons, birth certificates, beneath all this was a box containing family pictures. My mother wouldn't permit anyone to open this trunk, and she hid the key. But one day I found the key. I found it hidden under a corner of the rug.
On spring afternoons that year I would come home from school and find my mother working in the kitchen. Her arms would be limp and white like dry clay from toil, her hair thin and dry against her head, and her eyes sunken and large and sad in their sockets.
The picture! I would think. Oh, that picture in the trunk!
When my mother wasn't looking I would steal into her bedroom, lock the door, and open the trunk. There were many pictures down there, and I loved all of them, but there was one alone which my fingers ached to clutch and my eyes longed to see when I found my mother that way — it was a picture of her taken a week before she married my father.
Such a picture!
She sat on the arm of a plush chair in a white dress spilling down to her toes. The sleeves were puffy and frothy: they were very elegant sleeves. There was scarcely any neck to the dress, and at her throatwas a cameo on a thin gold chain. Her hat was the biggest hat I ever saw in my life. It went entirely around her shoulders like a white parasol, the brim dipping slightly, and covering most of her hair except a dark mound in back. But I could see the green, heavy eyes, so big that not even that hat could hide them.
I would stare at that strange picture, kissing it and crying over it, happy because once it had been true. And I remember an afternoon when I took it down to the creek bank, set it upon a stone, and prayed to it. And in the kitchen was my mother, imprisoned behind pots and pans: a woman no longer the lovely woman in the picture.
And so it was with me, a kid home from school.
Other times I did other things. I would stand at the dresser mirror with the picture at my ear, facing the round mirror. A sheepishness, a shivering delight would possess me. How unbelievable this grand lady, this queen! And I remember that I would be speechless.
My mother in the kitchen at that moment was not my mother. I wouldn't have it. Here was my mother, the lady in the big hat. Why couldn't I remember anything about her? Why did I have to be so young when I was born? Why couldn't I have been born at the age of fourteen? I couldn't remember a thing. When had my mother changed? What caused the change? How did she grow old? I made up my mind that if I ever saw my mother as beautiful as she was in the picture I would immediately ask her to marry me. She had never refused me anything, and I felt she would not refuse me as a husband. I elaborated on this determination, even discovering a way to dispose of my father: my mother could divorce him. If the Church would not grant a divorce, we could wait and be married as soon as my father died. I searched my catechism and prayer book for a law which stated that mothers could not marry their sons. I was satisfied to find nothing on the subject.
One evening I slipped the picture under my waist and took it to my father. He sat reading the paper on the front porch.
"Look," I said. "Guess who?"
He looked at it through a haze of cigar smoke. His indifference annoyed me. He examined it as though it were a bug, or something; a piece of stale cake, or something. His eyes slid up and down the picture three times, then crosswise three times. Turning it over, he examined the back. The composition interested him more than the subject, and I had hoped his eyes would pop and that he would shout with excitement.
"It's Mamma!" I said. "Don't you recognize her?"
He looked at me wearily. "Put it back where you found it," he said, picking up his newspaper.
"But it's Mamma!"
"Good God!" he said. "I know who it is! I'm the man who married her."
"But look!"
"Go away," he said.
"But, Papa! Look!"
"Go away. I'm reading."
I wanted to hit him. I was embarrassed and sad. Something happened at that moment and the picture was never so wonderful again. It became another picture — just a picture. I seldom looked at it again, and after that evening I never opened my mother's trunk and burrowed for treasure at the bottom.
Before her marriage my mother was Maria Scarpi. She was the daughter of Giuseppe and Stella Scarpi. They were peasants from Naples. Giuseppe Scarpi — he was a shoemaker. He and his wife came to Denver from Italy. My mother, Maria Scarpi, was born there in Denver. She was the fourth child. With her brothers and sisters she went to the Sisters' school. Then she went to a public high school for three years. But this public high school wasn't like the Sisters' school, and she didn't like it. Her two brothers and four sisters married after completing high school.
But Maria Scarpi would not marry. She told...
The John Fante Reader. Copyright © by John Fante. Reprinted by permission of HarperCollins Publishers, Inc. All rights reserved. Available now wherever books are sold.
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