Hardcover
Temporarily Out of Stock Online
- ISBN-13: 9781882883875
- Publisher: Idyll Arbor, Incorporated
- Publication date: 06/28/2010
- Pages: 213
- Sales rank: 270,231
- Product dimensions: 6.00(w) x 8.90(h) x 0.60(d)
Table of Contents
Preface to the First Edition ix
Preface to the New Edition xiii
A Personal Note xv
Acknowledgments xvii
1 Not To Be Afraid 1
2 Things Will Never Be the Same 11
3 Feelings of Guilt and Self-Blame 19
Unrealistic Guilt 21
Realistic Guilt 25
Moving beyond Guilty Feelings 29
4 Physical Expressions of Loss 33
Anxiety 33
Aches and Pains 35
Appetite 36
Sleep 37
5 Anger and Bitterness Can Be a Good Sign 41
Anger 41
Childhood 43
Interrupted Life 46
Protest 47
Dealing with Anger 49
6 What One Gets Is What One Resists 55
Delayed Mourning 56
Please Don't Misunderstand 62
7 The Importance of Self-Caring Activities 68
Friends 69
Empathic Persons 71
Basic Care Providers 73
Destructive People 75
Sexual Needs 78
Avoiding Major Decisions 80
Anticipating Difficult Days and Dates 82
Expecting Unexpected Trouble 85
8 A Slow Readjustment Back to Life and Work 87
Time Away from Work 88
Daily Routines 89
The Awful Kindnesses of Others 92
9 Unusually Prolonged Grief 98
Atonement Themes 100
A Suffering "Script" 104
A Fateful Constellation of Events 107
Idealization 109
10 When Professional Help Is Needed 111
My Story 111
A Soldier's Story 113
A Childhood Loss 114
Too Much Crisis All at Once 115
A Traumatic Loss 116
Unspeakable Grief 119
Finding Professional Help 121
Sometimes Medication Is Needed 124
11 Time Does Heal - But There Are Always Scars 126
Following Loss - the Fear of More or Still Greater Loss 128
Reliving Old Losses 129
Delayed Happiness 131
Some Survival Defenses Become a Way of Life 132
Battle Stripes 134
12 Cue Points for Evaluating Your Own Healing Process 136
The Ability to Cope with Life 137
Symbols of Transition 138
Learning from the Loss 140
Moving Forward 142
Integrating the Loss 143
13 From out of the Ashes...New Life 146
Resurrection 148
What You Have Experienced Belongs to You 149
Life Is What It Is 152
14 Moving forward: Stories of Hope and Triumph 154
Tony: Triumph in the Aftermath of 9/11 155
Lynn: A Cluster of People Helped Her Triumph 160
Derek and Renée's Healing Journey 163
Appendix: Commonly Asked Questions about Crisis 172
Responding to Others 172
Helping a Bereaved Child 178
Why We Don't Cry 181
Loneliness 182
Nighttime Mourning 183
Denial 184
Suicidal Clues 185
Bitterness 186
Social Withdrawal 187
Prolonged Idealization 188
Abortion 189
Healthy Spirituality 191
Notes 193
For Further Reading 201
Index 203
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All of us suffer personal crisis. It may be a death, divorce, job loss or other financial crisis, a broken love relationship, or an illness - any painful experience that forces us to re-examine and change our lives so that our grief can be overcome and new happiness be found.
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