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Before

Trevor

I used to be the guy who had it all.

I had the girlfriend most guys drooled over-easy on the eyes, curves in all the right places, and always up for a good time. I played guitar in the hottest band around and made first string on the football team. My best friend was like a brother to me, and my family was relatively free of drama. Sure my dad worked a little too much and my mom bitched about it, and yeah, my little sister could be annoying as hell, but we were good.

I was invincible. I had goals and dreams, and I was damn close to getting them.

Until I wasn't.

Until a night went so wrong that I ended up in a coma, and by the time I came out of it, months had passed. By then I was already running to catch up to everyone else, and running to catch up wasn't something I was used to. I was the guy at the head of the line. I was the lucky one. Until I wasn't. And like everything else in this new life of mine, it totally sucked.

Thinking about it makes me sick to my stomach. I hate it. There are nights when I can't sleep. Nights when all I want to do is close my eyes and see nothing. Hear nothing. Smell nothing. I don't want to remember how I used to be, and I sure as hell don't want to remember that night.

Except that I can.

I can remember every single detail.

It was hot. The kind of hot that makes you sweat like crazy and leaves your lungs feeling heavy. The moon was out, and it never went away, kind of like perpetual twilight.

My girlfriend wore a tight black halter top and a white skirt that barely covered her ass. I gave her hell for it, but I liked how the other guys checked her out. I liked knowing that she was mine. And I really liked the fact that we'd get busy in some dark, quiet spot among the trees.

Of course, that didn't happen because I drank too much. I got wasted, like stupid wasted, and I puked. Even my girl, Bailey, was disgusted. So yeah, the "getting busy" thing never happened.

Then I got in a car with someone I knew was almost as wasted as me. And that is without a doubt the stupidest thing I've ever done. I remember thinking Nathan shouldn't drive, but he laughed me off and said he was fine.

I remember thinking that we should call my dad. He was always good for a pickup if one of us screwed up. And man, we were screwing up. But at the time it seemed like too much work to make it all happen, so I did nothing.

If I'd done that? Called my dad instead of getting in the car with Nathan at the wheel? Things would be so damn different. I'd still be the old me. Not some loser with shit for brains and a TBI (traumatic brain injury). Now there's a great handle.

But I don't like thinking about what if because it depresses the hell out of me. What if doesn't matter anymore because I have to deal with right now.

And for me, right now is crunch time. I gotta believe that right now just might change my life. And the scariest truth of all?

Right now is all I got.