Teach Your Children Well: Why Values and Coping Skills Matter More Than Grades, Trophies, or "Fat Envelopes" by Yves Perodin, Paperback

Psychologist Madeline Levine brings together cutting-edge research and thirty years of clinical experience to explode once and for all the myth that good grades, high test scores, and college acceptances should define the parenting endgame.

Parents, educators, and the media wring their hands about the escalating rates of emotional problems and lack of real engagement with learning found so frequently among America’s children and teens. Yet there are ways to reverse these disheartening trends. Until we are clearer about our core values and the parenting choices that are most likely to lead to authentic, and not superficial, success, we will continue to raise exhausted, externally driven, and emotionally impaired children who believe they are only as good as their last performance.

Confronting the real issues behind why we push some of our kids to the breaking point while dismissing the talents and interests of many others, Levine shows us how to shift our focus from the excesses of hyperparenting and the unhealthy reliance on our children for status and meaning to a parenting style that concentrates on both enabling academic success and developing a sense of purpose, well-being, and connection in our children’s lives.

Kenneth R. Ginsburg MD

For the sake of the adults of tomorrow, I hope that Teach Your Children Well becomes a must-read and must-discuss book for parents today.

Dr. Ned Hallowell

A fantastic, on-point, desperately needed book! If you have children or care about children or care about the future of this country and the world, read this book.

MD - Kenneth R. Ginsburg

"For the sake of the adults of tomorrow, I hope that Teach Your Children Well becomes a must-read and must-discuss book for parents today."

Doctor - Ned Hallowell

"A fantastic, on-point, desperately needed book! If you have children or care about children or care about the future of this country and the world, read this book."

Wendy Mogel

A modern guide for the perplexed! First Levine captures a culture which puts competition and social status ahead of character. Then, with a gentle, firm remarkably clear head, she tells parents precisely what to do to bring good sense and respect for children back to parenting.

Judith Warner

Levine really comes into her own . . . when she moves beyond child development to concentrate instead on parent development, exploring why we do the misguided things we do, and asking how we must (as we must) change ourselves and behave differently.

Daniel H. Pink

Madeline Levine’s voice is a welcome antidote to the Tiger-Momming of America. [Teach Your Children Well] is packed with smart and savvy advice for raising independent, productive, and well-adjusted young people. Read this book—your kids will thank you.

David Elkind

With keen insight and telling examples, Levine offers suggestions for adopting a more balanced idea of success that requires changing deeply ingrained habits but is well worth the effort.

Psychology Today

Here’s one potentially bright and shiny opportunity for optimism (at least if you take her advice) thanks to one busy and one hope’s wise clinical psychologist. . . . Her insights are fresh . . . look no further for your Beach Book, here it is!

San Jose Mercury News

Levine, author of The Price of Privilege, offers practical tips for helping kids relax, cope with the very real demands of adolescence and mature into healthy adults.

Forbes

An excellent new book.

The New York Times Book Review

…a cri de coeur from a clinician on the front lines of the battle between our better natures—parents' deep and true love and concern for their kids—and our culture's worst competitive and materialistic influences…Levine has good, if familiar, lessons for parents about the virtues of teaching empathy; encouraging the development of an authentic self; and making time for dreaming, creating and unstructured outdoor play. But she really comes into her own…when she moves beyond child development to concentrate instead on parent development, exploring why we do the misguided things we do, and asking how we might (as we must) change ourselves and behave differently.
—Judith Warner

For thirty years, clinical psychologist and educator Madeline Levine has been hearing the same parental complaint: "We've tried to help our children in every way, but that just seems to make them unhappier and more stressed out." From hard-won experience and cutting-edge research, Dr. Levine knows that good child-raising means more than facilitating standout grades, high test scores, and acceptances from prestigious colleges. In this ever so timely book, the author of The Price of Privilege describes how straightjacket conceptions of success are undermining the talents, happiness, and wellbeing of our children. A thoughtful, impassioned call for awakening the skills most essential in the 21st century: creativity, collaboration, and innovation.

Publishers Weekly

In this powerful text, psychologist Levine (The Price of Privilege) argues that “our version of success is a failure.” Levine reports that our nation’s ideas of success have led to children and teens who are stressed, anxious, depressed, and exhausted (as are many parents). Kids are on a fast track to higher grades and impressive tests scores, prestigious colleges, and relentless competition—goals that are wearing everyone out—rather than focusing on such skills as resilience, creativity, innovative thinking, and the ability to collaborate. While academics are important, Levine maintains, growing up to become authentically successful involves making friends, playing, developing a sense of self and emotional intelligence, and many other nonacademic tasks. In separate chapters, the author takes readers through the stages of child development that occur in elementary, middle school, and high school, and includes practical tips on how parents can help kids flourish during each phase. According to Levine, our society is at a “tipping point,” and it’s time to redefine success so that kids can meet their full potential in academic and other areas without relinquishing their well-being. The text also includes various examples that illustrate the ways in which kids and parents are struggling with our “dysfunctional system.” Though bucking the trend may be a challenge, parents who want their kids to succeed without compromising their health or losing the joy of learning will be buoyed by Levine’s support, encouragement, and guidance. (Aug.)

Kirkus Reviews

Practical advice for raising well-rounded and successful children. Psychologist, author and co-founder of Challenge Success, Levine (The Price of Privilege: How Parental Pressure and Material Advantage Are Creating a Generation of Disconnected and Unhappy Kids, 2006, etc.) draws on 30 years of counseling experience and current research to debunk contemporary thoughts on raising children. Beginning in preschool, parents and teachers push their students to obtain good grades and high SAT scores and participate in numerous extracurricular activities, with the end goal of attending a prestigious college. While these are still worthwhile endeavors, Levine offers readers hands-on solutions to "optimize conditions so that a far greater number of children can actually be successful without the accompanying high levels of distress that have become so prevalent." Today, there is too much emphasis on driving children toward an often unrealistic and narrow definition of achievement, creating a generation of young adults at "high risk for emotional, psychological, and academic problems." Through the use of scenarios from her own experience of raising three sons, as well as instances from her clinical practice, Levine provides examples of common situations encountered while raising children and suggests new solutions to handle these situations. The author's approach includes unconditional love, empathy, stimulating challenges, a safe environment that encourages curiosity, and discipline when necessary. With these tools, Levine believes all children are capable of leading "satisfying, meaningful, and authentically successful lives" without the accompanying stress, panic and exhaustion commonly seen in adolescents. A rethinking of the term "success" provides new insight on how to raise today's youth.

Teach Your Children Well: Why Values and Coping Skills Matter More Than Grades, Trophies, or "Fat Envelopes"

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