Read an Excerpt

From Chapter 1: Your Hot Spots in Perspective

The popular press always loves a good spot, regularly celebrating the “latest” way to drive your lover crazy with just the right touch of a bodily button. Hardly a month goes by that cover stories don’t announce a “new” must-test erogenous zone, with results practically guaranteed to rock your world and your sex life. And the public responds with bated breath, hoping that maybe this time they will be astounded, love lives transformed forever. Such articles sell publications because there is such a desire, such a need for better loving, better relationships, and better communication between lovers everywhere!

As a sex expert, I often get asked to provide comment for magazine articles on where to touch your partner for the best sensations ever and, more importantly, how to do it with the skill and expertise of a sexologist. But whether questions are posed by a journalist, one of my students, a Sexuality Source web browser, or audience member at one of my speaking engagements, people always want to know: Where should I touch him? Why am I not doing this right? How should I stimulate her? How long ‘til we see results? What other ways can that be done – and better? Is it possible to be orgasmic or more orgasmic?? That’s why I was really excited to tackle a book that brings it all together, offering sexual beings everywhere a first of its kind work that’s a one-stop shop exclusively devoted to all of the human body’s hottest spots and how to turn them on.

With so many erogenous zones, besides the genitals and breasts, seriously neglected, it is important to cover all of our erotic spots from head to toe. With the right amount of time and attention, a plethora of seemingly innocent areas of the body can result in anything from nipple-hardening to scintillating nerve activating to ethereally orgasmic results.

Positively embracing the erotic potential of any part of the human body, new lovers can begin their sexual relationship with even more eruptive fireworks, while more long-term partners can reactivate the sparks and passion with such a mindset. Whether it’s your first time or ten thousandth time together, with this book you’ll be embarking upon never before imagined, wonder-filled sexual adventures that trump anything you’ve ever known – as long as we establish an agreement of sorts.

What You Must Promise
As we journey through this book together, I need for you to promise me three things. First, it’s important to realize that when it comes to orgasmic hot spots, people tend to limit their erotic potential to just the genitals. And while your groin and reproductive organs are full of climactic triggers, you need to conceptualize your body as a vast landscape of Touch Me Here (or there) spots. In taking a tour through every area, every crevice, every inner working, you must see the human body as a vibrant energy source, full of simmering hot spots just waiting for eruptive release. It is only then that we can find all of your and your lover’s most titillating, erogenous zones. Only then will you find that the human body is a personal paradise, opening yourself up to a new realm of sexual exploration and experiences.

Furthermore, you need to take your time exploring your wondrous islands, knowing that these are the first of many amazing trips to come and that pleasuring a spot or two, and not necessarily a major hot spot, may be as satiating or even better than the sex play you’re used to. No matter what the spot, don’t always approach its stimulation as merely a “pre-game” activity, even though it may serve that purpose. It is important to realize that any of the exercises in this book can be the main event. Sex does not need to involve intercourse, or orgasm for that matter, for intimacy to be deemed sex, complete, or “successful.” Being able to stay in the moment, attentive to what’s present and not what’s to come or where things might be going will make your intimacy and stimulation all the more fulfilling.

Second, you must be willing to re-evaluate how you communicate in your relationship(s) and how it can be improved. People are generally not taught how to communicate effectively in intimate relationships. On the whole, humans are terrible at letting others know how they’re truly feeling, what they’re really thinking, and what they absolutely need. There’s so much threat, so much fear – and things get even more complicated when it comes to a taboo subject like sex! Letting your needs, wants, and desires, as well as turn off’s, be known can be one of the most intimidating, difficult things to express, especially if you’re worried about bruising the ego of someone you love and adore. So oftentimes, sexual communication boils down to a guessing game, full of assumptions. In taking charge of your erogenous zones and in finding your lover’s, you must be willing to practice some of the communication strategiessssss offered in this book. It is okay to let your lover know what feels good, to tell your partner where to touch you – and not - and how. It’s equally okay to let your lover know what doesn’t feel good or what isn’t working. The trick is in how it’s communicated, as this book will unveil.

Third, you need to be open-minded in order to get the most out of this book. Societal myths and taboos, as well as research facts that make population generalizations, often influence one’s sex play exploration, limiting lovers’ experiences, pleasuring, and orgasmic potential. For many people, erotic areas have more to do with what they’ve experienced or been told rather than what they’re open to, further stifling one’s acceptance of new ideas and possible sensations. So it’s important to be open to new information that challenges preconceived notions about what can be a turn on and what you should or shouldn’t do in bed. As we uncover your body’s hot spots, we’ll demystify some of these myths, allowing you to better decide if certain sex acts are right for you and your partner. We’ll also tackle taboos that can prevent lovers from finding novel forms of pleasure no matter what your sex or gender.

What You Must Know
I decided not to start this book with an official introduction for fear that some readers would skip over it to get to the “juicier” information. Doing so would’ve deprived them of fully understanding the power of the hot spots and how to fully engage in the recommended exercises. The following pages are at the heart of this book and among the most important to know and process in order to perform the exercises in a more meaningful, more rewarding way.

This book is rooted in relaxation, healing, and sexual practices that focus on the body’s energy and, at times, erogenous zones, specifically, pulling together concepts utilized in Tantric sex and yoga, acupressure, and reflexology. It is hoped with these overlapping, yet diverse, perspectives you will be able to stimulate your hot spots, as well as your partner’s, all the more effectively, with all the more tremendous results. Understanding how different parts of the body, including erotic areas, are interconnected, influencing and stimulating each other, as viewed by these genres, helps to frame each hot spot’s erogenous qualities and potential in contributing to better sex and intimacy. Rushing straight to a spot, without considering the following information, robs lovers of realizing an area’s full power in creating amazing physical sensations, in delivering an improved, healthier state of mind, in nurturing one’s spirit, and in giving individuals and couples an array of ways to experience their sexuality, feelings, energies, libidos, and sexual expression.

With all of that said… Many moons ago, sexual behaviors and pleasuring were used as tools to a healthier, more invigorated body, and as a way for lovers to become more in tune with their own and each other’s energies, emotions, and spirits. Sexual practices involving exercise and massage were cultivated to strengthen the sexual organs and the body’s senses, as well as relationships. The following perspectives and warm up activities on the body’s hot spots, Tantric/yogi, acupressure, and reflexology, are all interrelated to a certain extent and will be revisited throughout this book. Keeping these frameworks and techniques in mind will not only help an erotic area feel sensational, but ultimately generate so much more physically, emotionally, sexually, and spiritually for you and your partner.